Where Have Manners Gone?
By SinfulSweet
@SinfulSweet (146)
Canada
March 2, 2009 1:16pm CST
I'm writing this just to vent a little here. The other day I was at play group with my son and there were plenty of children there that day. I remember seeing this little boy snatch a toy away from my son who is five. My son dealt with it like a champ and simply went and grabbed another truck to play with as there were a number of them and then this same kid came up and grabbed that truck out my sons hands too and then smacked him hard in the face and screamed mine. My son has autism and this sent him over the edge and he began to have a bit of a melt down. Then the mother who had been sitting reading her magazine the whole time her kid was snatching things from other children and smacking them. Well she comes over and sugar sweet says to her son its okay he's just sad. I spun around on her and said he's sad because your son smacked him and took away his toy. So she asks her son what happened and to my surprise out of his mouth was well its my F-ing toy. He proceeded to cuss out me his mother and my son... and she didn't do a darn thing except say Matthew come on don't say that! Well I know if i was that kid swearing like that my mother would have all but kicked my butt. Is it me or are kids today growing up with less manners and parents that simply let them get away with it for fear of rocking the boat. Don't these parents realize how important it is to raise their children with manners and respect for others. I was just shocked at this child's behavior and even more surprised with the mothers reaction. I know had that been my son we would have left the play group until he could prove that he was willing to share and be nice. Sorry its so long but I just really really needed to vent this out!
5 people like this
16 responses
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Wow, what a little brat! Sorry, but that kid is just disrespectful and it sounds like his mother is teaching him to be that way. I would have made my kid leave until they learned to share. My kids are 9 and 2 and they have learned to say please and thank you and they do not cuss.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
2 Mar 09
First off... any kid would have been melting down after getting hit like that. Yes for our Autistic kids it's far harder to calm them.
Second off... Mothers have gone insane. You aren't the first and won't be the last to see this. And it's down right scary.
Can you imagine what they would think if they saw what our kids are like during a real melt down? But do we allow them to act like that. No way. Mine would at least have an excuse but I raised her better then that.
ERRR... I get so upset at parents like that. Do they not know what the future will hold for them? Can you imagine what the teen years will be like. I wouldn't want to see it that's for sure.
@SinfulSweet (146)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
You and me both... I think that woman is going to be in for some rough rough years if she isn't able to reign him in now then what is she going to do once he is bigger than she is!
@bobmnu (8157)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Manners went away when Politically Correctness came in. This morning on the Radio I heard a discussion on how to get your child to do their homework. The answer was to negotiate with them and decide when it would be a good time for them. I believe in giving a child choices but I control the choices, to me the question should be do you want to do your homework before supper or after supper. This way they learn to make choices but not get to select the choices they can choose from. In your case if that were my child he would have received a slight slap on the bu// to let him know he was wrong and then he would have to sit next to me for a few minutes while the other children got to play. When his time was up I would help him choose a truck that was not being used.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
3 Mar 09
Yes, there are more and more of such incidents occurring everyday around us…I thing parents these days are less involved with their kids that our moms or grandmoms were. The reasons are varied and complex, but they are there for all of us to see. another thing is that I feel we are being divided into groups of parents who just let their kids go and parents who are strict about manners and respect and sharing ….and in teaching our children only the good values, we are actually doing a disservice for their future. In the shocking incident of your son’s toys being snatched away, our manners prompt us to encourage our children to go for another toy without creating a fuss about it…but will that be good for their future! I have very few ideas about autism, but generally, I think we should teach our children also to fight back and stand for their own rights! I am a bit confused you know…I face the same problems with my 9yr old on and off! On one hand I am telling him to be polite and sharing and caring type and ignore bullies while at the back of my mind, I have this nagging thought about he becoming too docile for his own good.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Wow that kid really has a big problem..Aside from a careless mom who don't even discipline her child this kid has a bad mouth and real bad manners. I wouldn't allow my child to do such a thing. I believe that parents should discipline their children. It doesn't mean that when you spank them you are abusing them. It is not true. Spanking is disciplining a child when they do something wrong. I don't allow my children to say bad words even my teens. I scold them for it. I hate brats and when my kids do something wrong I tell them and when I see some other kid does something wrong I either tell their parents or tell them myself. I hope this mother of this child learn to discipline her kid while he is still young or she'll never be able to do so when he grows up just like he is now.
@Felicialessard1 (56)
• United States
3 Mar 09
See, these are the discussions that tick me off. Not at you, but the things that other kids do. I have 2 boys myself, one that is 3 and the other 8. Both of my boys have gone through things like this before, many times before. I learned that teaching my kids to stand up for themselves but in a gentle and nice way is the best tool to get out of trouble but let others know that you will not stand for that type of behavior.
My 3 yr old has learned that sometimes his brother can be a butt, haha! He told him the other day that if he didn't give him his blanket back (his security blanket my mom gave him when he was born), that he was going to tell mommy and he would get in trouble...gentle, sweet and to the point. My oldest came and told me what he had done and I told him to give him back his blanket and don't touch it unless he gave it to him. End of situation!
Another time was when my oldest was about 6 yrs old. I laughed, sorry to say, but was very stern about my actions. He was playing with this little girl and the little girl told him that she was going to hit him...for no reason. My son turned around and said, "my mommy said I can't hit girls but I bet YOUR mommy will." I laughed so hard but had to turn around and tell him that that was inappropriate and he should have just told an adult about it.
To this day, they both are very respectful and honest about things they do. Kids disappoint me sometimes. Especially, when your in a store and hear people pulling their kids around and the kids screaming. Come on, take your kid in the bathroom or outside and have a nice talking to them. Don't do a public display of discipline.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
2 Mar 09
being a parent is very hard work and one has to do it all day long. It seems to me that so many parents are lazy. It is so much easier to let the kids do as they please. The only problem with that is they will pay for it later. If only they would realize that it is much easier to discipline a child at a very young than it is in their older years. Manners seem to be a thing of the past these days. It is so much easier to make an effort to say when the child is young than it is when they are older and use to getting their own way. Some parents believe that their children can do no wrong. I have never had my kids to play groups so I don't know how they work. Is there some one other than the mothers in charge?
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
Welcome to today's world! Good manners have definitely diminished.
Where do these little tots learn this kind of language anyway? What is the mother doing reading a magazine? Shouldn't she be keeping both eyes on her child? What kind of a man will this boy be when he grows up, with a mother like that?
Very sad!
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
3 Mar 09
How could this mother not acknowledge that this child's lauguage was horrid? I am 28 years old and still don't talk like that in front of my own mother, because she'll smack the dirty words right out my mouth. She may be 70, but she's not gonna have any disrespect from any of her children, and that's how I am with my kids. I get alot of grief over the way I raised my kids, I am mean and harsh when it comes to some things because I want my kids to know what RESPECT means. They will know right from wrong, and they will know how to share, they will know how to treat everyone as they want to be treated.
There are alot of parents out there today that don't care, they use the excuse I want my kids to have more than I did, so they don't punish them, they don't correct them, nor do they teach them how to treat other people. It's wrong, and we encounter these types more and more. When us parents that are correcting our children, teaching them a lesson and pointing out when they were bad, We get ridiculed for it.
@mrsl2008 (634)
•
2 Mar 09
In my experience there is only one place her child would have learnt those words, at home. It sounds as if this behaviour is perfectly acceptable to the mother and only told him not to do it as he was in public.
My childs feet would not have touched the ground if only being spiteful let alone having a foul mouth to go with it!!!!
I think as society has gotten more modern, rules and respect has suffered x
At least you can feel proud you teach your son correctly which was reflected inhis intial reaction of picking up another toy & not being bothered by the boy.
I hope your son doesn't have to experience that boy again x x
MrsL x x
@ljbinkop (744)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Well that is really some disgraceful habits that she is teaching her son very early in life. If you don't want to pay attention to your children, then you should NOT HAVE THEM! I always teach my children to be polite. I think the best way to do that is to set a good example and act polite yourself. YOur children are watching...
It really bothers me that parents put the blame on their childrens bad behavior on other things like TV, or ither kids, whatever. If you really want to know where a kid's bad behavior comes from, just look at the parent.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Wow, what is with parents today? Not too long ago we were out with our family and this 10 year old boy walked up to my son teasing him with his drink. We were waiting in line for something, and his mother just thought it was "cute". My son is only 2 1/2, and I did not think it was cute. She really should have left the playgroup because it's not fair to you or any other mother there. Did the other mothers have something to say? It's just sad how some parents just well shouldn't be parents. I hope you find a better playgroup for your son or at least find a way to avoid her and her son in the future. Namaste-Anora
@kaven08 (84)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Obviously this women needs to discipline her kids a bit more. You really gotta work on that. I'm sorry about what happened to your son, but praise your son and tell him he did the right thing. Your son sounds like a really good, nice kid. One a lot of kids want as a friend.
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
2 Mar 09
If i was that little kid and talked that way to my momma...i would of been spanked, taken home, mouth washed out with soap, and stood in the corner. But today thats abuse. Well if it was abuse, i turned out great for an abused kid because i still know better to say the f word in front of my mom. To me its seems that mom does not really discipline her child, and i am not saying she should do what my mom did, but what she has been doing doesn't seem to work. And yeah there is a lack of manners and even respect in children today and i really do have to blame the parents for letting the children get away with it.
