my pre-graduation dilemma
By selece
@selece (2357)
Philippines
March 6, 2009 7:55am CST
Oh look, months ago I left mylot because I didn't have the time for it anymore. I focused on my school issues and now everything's about to end... We successfully defended our thesis project last Wednesday, all that's left are revisions for the final paper. As for the college publication I'm in, we are currently working on our last issue... All these... I'm about to graduate and leave my second home...
Yet... I am not yet fully happy...
I feel lost right now...
I thought I've been working hard to achieve my goals before leaving school. Then again... in the process of working hard for them I developed feelings for someone close to me. The thing is she is a friend of mine. Not to mention the friend of someone whom I previously tried to pursue years ago. It looks awkward in a way that we're all tied up with a thing called friendship and here I am making my way to destroy it. I think I'm in love, I told her that I like her and that we should talk after the defense. She agreed. And I felt she was willing to talk things out. Again, I don't know if she is trying to avoid me at this point in time or that she really doesn't have the time to spare... Still I feel she has gone cold somehow. Ugh... I feel I could never be fully happy if I don't settle this. Especially if she doesn't acknowledge what I feel.
I'm sorry for this long discussion, I just had to let this off my chest somehow. My friends here have always made me feel better. I'm just wishing you are still here... Most have been missing just like me. I wanted to catch up with you guys, but I know we all live a busy life that we don't have the luxury of time to do so.
Anyway... I just have to get through it each day. Hehe. Huhu.
1 response
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Hello selece it is so good to see you again. Many people go through the feeling of being lost when they are completeing college. Yes, leaving the home you have had for a long time is hard. You now must move on to biger and better things, this is why you went to school.
Once you have a new place and a job so that you can start your career you will getuse to the newness of it all. In fat you will become happy with what you are achieving.
As for the girl, she will be going in a different direction as you most likely. You can write to her and let her know how you feel. She is going through the same insecurities right now that you are.
Maybe she doesn't wantto get attached to anyone even you right now. SHe needs to get her career going, just as you will.
Just think you will be in a newplace, meeting new people, with a career going for you. This is what you need to focus on right now. It will be so much easier later once you have what you need and want and your career is in place to find someone to spend your life with.
I'm saying to you what I would say to my child and have said to hem.
I wish the best for you and many blessings to come your way.
1 person likes this
@selece (2357)
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
Hey there my friend. Ah yes, I'm also lost like... Where should I pursue my career? Or like... What job should I take? I feel I'm not yet quite ready. Hehe. Although definitely, I want to get my career going, in order to ensure a good life ahead of me.
And yes, as for the girl, you're right. I guess I was a bit selfish in the first place. Even though we would be going in different directions, we still have a bond after 3 years of friendship. I forgot to consider both ways, I wasn't like this before. Maybe I got too excited or I panicked because we will be leaving soon. Thanks for the advice. And with that, it feels like my mom is actually the one telling me. Hehe. Thank you so much!
