I REALLY don't Know what to Do!!!!!!!!!!!

United States
March 7, 2009 6:02pm CST
My boyfriend is having trouble at home. He's a straight A student, that goes to school full time, has a job, and plays football. Yet his parents are not satisfied with him. His sisters put him in counseling because he had made numerous attempts to overdose or to commit suicide. His sisters have also tried taking him away from his parents but that hasn't work. He feels like the world hates him and the only one he can confine in is me. Sometimes it helps when we are on the phone and he can vent about situations that are bothering him. At other times he tells me its just soothing to hear my voice, and then there are the times were it seems like nothing i say or do can console him.When he doesn't call i find myself worried about him. The worst things always seem to find their way in to my head (Is he dead? did he OD?Is he okay?) My mom loves him to death and knows his predicament. She tries to help in any way she can but doesn't want to interfere with the "family business". What should i do in this situation? I don't want to leave him because my feelings for him are strong and he says that everyone that comes in to his life that he begins to love always leaves him. So he also has a trusting problem i guess you can say.
4 people like this
11 responses
@emilie2300 (1886)
• United States
8 Mar 09
He may be insecure because he may have lost people that came in to his life that he got close with. But he dose need to see somebody to help him through the issues he is having. He is a very bright man. Going to school straight A football team working. I think alot of it is to also be out of the house away from the family so he don't have to put up with them. They could be alot of what the problem that is going on. It just may be something going on at home that he is reacting to. If you don't mind me asking how old is he?
• United States
9 Mar 09
he'll be 16 in april
@1hopefulman (45546)
• Canada
8 Mar 09
This is a very serious situation since he has made "numerous attempts" to end his life. He definitely needs medical and professional help. All we can do is feel for you as you face this situation. Our thoughts are with you.
• United States
8 Mar 09
thank you so much
@coldmoon (1091)
• France
10 Mar 09
Your story reminds me of what I underwent during my teenage. I was born in a so-called happy family. My dad was a professor at college, my mom was a library directrice, we had a hotel for rent. I attended always famous schools, and was always among the top 3 pupils in my classes. The others thought that I was lucky, but in fact my life was so boring. All what I did were under the wish, the permission and the pression of my parents. Then one day, I met my first boyfriend, I realized what I really wanted to do. He made me laugh, he brought to me the fun, and helped me understand how precious the freedom is. Since he came from the working class, certaintly my parent were opposed to this relationship. They tried to separate us. Even my mom said to us that if he didn't leave me, she would make his parents be unemployed. And we broke up. I returned to my previous boring life, do the same boring things, but this time I wasn't bored. I was always sorry for him and for me, but thinking that this ending give his family the peace, I could stand everything. I know that he always saved the best for me, and he didn't want to cause any conflict between my parents and me, his love strengthened me much even though we haven't met each other since then. I'm sorry iif I say too much, but I want to tell you what your boyfriend needs, it's what I needed and had before. If you don't have some meaningful thing to stand for, you'll be down for anything. You must try to show him the great love to make him stand for that. Best wishes for you all, god blesses your boyfriend even he may not believes in god.
• United States
8 Mar 09
Honey, all you can really do is be there for him. (Like you already are) That's what he needs is someone he can trust and talk to. Someone who can try to make him feel better. He loves you and this is why he trust you enough to talk to him. His parents shouldn't expect so much of him. That's not fair. Just let him know you'll be by his side no matter what.
@rav2187 (49)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Just increase the amount of blo jobs you give him each week. That will solve everything!
• United States
8 Mar 09
Okay, this is a serious situation. Talk to him,(even more seriously than u already do). Let him know how it would make you feel if he took his life. Let him know that you will always be there with him(if you do truely care about him). Oh, and his parents are a**holes. A straight A student and they're not satisfied? What more can he do?
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Sounds like borderline personality disorder. It's common in teens. I have it and have had it since I was about 13. Do a little research on it and you should have some ideas about how to proceed after that. I wish you the best of luck. I think it is important to try to figure out a way to help him and once you know a bit more about the disorder you should be more effective at helping him manage his feelings.
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
yes, i think he is suffering from depression.. i also had the same expression but it was kind of different since i get to talk to my parents.. and it seems like his a people person especially to his parents.. i dont know if im right but i think he would only feel good about himself if his parents are satisfied with what he does... stay supportive...
@rsa101 (33957)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
Well I think he is suffering a major depression about something. That maybe from his studies or work. I think in the meantime that he cannot balance his life he might as well quit his job and pursue his studies more seriously. I really think that you may be of big help in assisting him to get out of this mentality. That is if the family would allow it with you. If they already know you and trust you then maybe it would be easier for you to intervene with them. Hope he could still recover as he has a promising future being a straight A student. But needs to really get into his real self and nt be clouded with so many things in his life.
@Dorrdavy (275)
• Jamaica
8 Mar 09
he really needs you now, try to tell him good things about himself all the time, let him know that you love him and that you appreciate everything he does. in the mean while someone needs to talk to the parents, then get professional help for him, try to convince him that what his parents say or think is not true. all the best!!
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
8 Mar 09
Hi, Very tricky & sensitive... He does not Love 'Life',have no Trust on Lover(U)/family... How U dream to Pull on ur entire Life, with Him? Even Ur deep Love,Counselling,sacrifice etc...Can he Value those? If he is not Respectful to others,how He will Resoeect U after marraige? Ask these questions to Urself.U want to be Happy ultimately Loving somebody dearly. Is he worth? =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.