Why Do We Lie?

Lying - Lying like Pinocchio
@margaux08 (1094)
Philippines
March 9, 2009 6:40am CST
We know that lying is bad. Since birth we are already trained to perceive that Honesty is the Best Policy. But adults are the best liars, don't you agree? Especially lying to ourselves. As Dr. Meredith Grey once told,"Lying is necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth freaking hurts..." And the most abused person whom we always lie is ourselves.We lie to ourselves because we want to achieve best results. We lie to ourselves because we don't want to hurt other people especially if it concerns our beloved family...kids most particularly. We lie because we are still hanging on to something...though that something is never near to imminence. We lie because we want to hurt ourselves more than hurting other people. If all of us are patterned to how Pinocchio was made, no wonder all of us have long noses!And we lie because as what Dr. Grey said, "Here's the truth about the truth. It hurts...so we lie."
1 person likes this
13 responses
• Philippines
13 Mar 09
oh, so your a fan of Grey's anatomy too?? dont tell me you like meredith as well?? wee!! "it hurts, so we lie" that's my favorite line of hers.. we lie sometimes if we are are running out of reasons to defend what we think is right or when we feel there is a need to lie just to save something we been keeping for long not to get wasted just for a freakin truth..
• Philippines
13 Mar 09
oh, i think im stammering here.. just to clear something.. we lie just to save something we've been keeping for long from getting wasted just because of a freakin truth..
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
17 Mar 09
Haha! I like the stammering part. You pointed two valid ideas, though. Anyways, i like Lizzy more. And yes...the twins also do enjoy the series. Together with...hmmm. Ghost Whisperer and Supernatural...and CSI...But of course, nothing beats Gossip Girl! They already memorized the intro: "Gossip Girl here...Your one and only source of Manhattan's Elite..." Sometimes they change it to: "Gossip Ryz/Tam here...your one and only source of Manila's Elite..."
• Philippines
17 Mar 09
your twins are so cute!!hahah.. i love izzy stevens too..but i love meredith better coz she is kinda paranoid sometimes like me..lol.. i know that lines too, i used to say that in school whenever i hear gossips around, together with, i know youll love me, xoxo, gossip girl..cool, right?hahah..were so series addict.. im a fan of lost also..and kyle xy..
@xParanoiax (6997)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I only lie when it's necessary. To protect myself from bad people...toshield others. I am a very good liar. Necessity breeds creativity, blah blah blah and all that happy stuff. I never had to lie until I became a teenager -- when I started growing up, in other words. Every time else, I am extremely and sometimes harshly honest. Normally, unless you're a very intelligent bad person...one can't tell the difference. This is how I prefer it. Those I love know that I don't lie to them. My enemies therefore, are the ones who're kept on their toes. I try very hard not to lie to myself. "Question EVERYTHING"...I often remind myself. I question myself the most, since I don't trust my brain or heart not to lie to me. I've no problem with this lack of trust, it doesn't make for awkward situations regarding myself, nor do I angst about it...these days. I don't believe that lying is wrong inherently. I believe that lying is a skill. I love people with skills, which is why I don't hate liars. Bad guy or no, I grin at them for being so good at something. ALTHOUGH, I've yet to find a liar who can really fool me for extended periods of time. Mostly, because as a writer I often have to envision several scenarios at once and how they can fit together...and otherwise because not many people are good liars, and 'cause I tend to be able to juggle that much at once. TEND to, I've met so many more people far more brilliant than I probably ever could be that I've struggled to understand. My former best friend may be the one liar who ever fooled me entirely...although I'll probably never know if that's true. Lies hurt you worse than the truth. A liar must be good at remembering things, must always be ready to be creative, and must be able to mentally multitask. A good liar can lie without hurting anyone or anything. A good liar can lie without malicious intent. UNFORTUNATELY, there aren't many good liars. Just a ton of bad ones. Lies can infect, destroy, and change everything if used improperly. The truth transforms, rebuilds, and slices through your perceptions. YES, it hurts. But only because you're numb to the harm that lies cause do you think it hurts you worse. Ironically...I'm an avid seeker of the truth, my blogging habits are entirely in search of accurate, credible information that can help others. Yet, knowing this, I acknowledge that I am a skilled liar...who tends to tell the truth. Contradictory. On two levels of extremes, but that's me.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
I knew it! You're a writer. I like your words..."a very intelligent bad person." "lying is a skill. Lying is a skill which is why I don't hate liars." You wrote these factually and I appreciate how you dwell your intelligence over a discussion that may speak of a thousand answers. Above all, I love how you put it: "A good liar can lie without hurting anyone..." I am looking forward for reading some of your well-though answers and discussions started.
• United States
11 Mar 09
Thanks, ^_^' I'm glad you found some enjoyment in my response. Thank you, for the interesting discussion.
@TLChimes (4838)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Hmmm... is self protection really a lie? A delusion maybe. I like what you've posted. I think we lie or delude ourselves for the reasons you quoted but I'm not sure that's as wrong as people think. Sometimes we do it to keep going, to keep fighting when other hope has faded. As for lying to others... sometimes we do it with good intentions (right or wrong) For example: "yum, this food is great" even though it tastes like run over tires. Now I know others will say you should always be truthful but our nature isn't like that.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
Yup, there is always an effort to tell the truth always. But like what you've mentioned,it may be part of delusion. Or denial. I remember a line from a TV program i think it's Grey's Anatomy also, saying that "De Nile" (denial)is no longer a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean." I think the next question is: How do we guard ourselves from drowning in it?
@TLChimes (4838)
• United States
9 Mar 09
By being really careful to take our own inventory on a regular basis. I try very hard to be self aware. I make mistakes... I'm human. I try to admit it. I try to write in my journal and sometimes I catch myself there. I think those that care if they are fooling themselves will figure it out. It's those who truly don't want to know, that we should worry about.
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
It's because living as an adult is more complex than living as a child. The degree of reasons to lie is much heavier now that we are adults. As a kid, we lie just to get away from trouble. Now as adults, we lie because of lots of reasons: to keep something what we have, to give peace of mind, to stay out of trouble, to preserve dignity and so on. That's why we need to lie.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi modstar, If only we are still kids then things are not too complicated... It is just ironic that we as adults are the ones who are always reminding the little ones not to lie. "Honesty is the Best Policy" "Liars go to hell," and all that! But as little ones grow up, little do they know that they are also on the process of being trapped in this "lying" world...
@dvrtmcc (176)
• Eritrea
10 Mar 09
I think that some people lie becouse they are weak. That is the only explanation.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Talk about honesty! Thank you...plain. simple. just the truth
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
we lie because of different reasons.... its difficult to to tell the truth sometimes especially if doing so might cause hurt or gap...by the way i love dr. meredith grey...*smile*
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hey me too! But I like Lizzy more. I also like the honesty of Dr. House of House, MD
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
we can avoid lying by keeping silent haha, i read about this somewhere that if we do not want to answer a particular question, you can counter ask "why do you want to know?" sometimes it is hard to not lie especially when something is on the line. if telling the truth will entail losing someone or something important to us, it is hard not to lie =(
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi eabaterina, How true... especially if you cherish that loved one so much, you are already trapped of lying. You are aware that the truth can hurt them... so we lie... to protect them and we let all bitterness embrace us instead...
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Yes there are white lies, lies that are not so serious. We lie to prevent hatred or troubles, to avoid sadness or disappointments. Lying however as to real liars as much as possible we don't do it. It hurts much to be addressed as a liar especially if you are really not. Lying to benefit for oneself is bad much more pinpointing others for the fault or mistake we committed. Lying to escape the blame or get rid of an obligation is not nice as well. We may lie but little lies tolerable to have better results.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi bing, ...and sometimes we lie because we want to stay away from the reality. Sad but very true... Thank you for this very valid response.
• China
10 Mar 09
hello..lie.perhaps we can call it natural born with us. we still lie though we were trained to percive that honesty is the best policy . just like we were let our parents spent 18 months trying to teach us to stand up and talk while then they trying to spent 18 years to let us sitdown and listen to others. it's paradoxical but true.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Sometimes the truth contradicts itself... that's the awful truth... Thank you for your response, really appreciate it!
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I think people / we do make lies for different reasons, there are only few people I think who are bold enough to face the truth as to quote what you have quoted..the truth freaking hurts. One reason I think is the fact that when we lie, we hid something due to some rejection by another, sometimes it is being seen as the only way out, one need to lie to hid the fault of another and saving that person on a tough circumstance.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi torchablazed, As long as we lie to keep our loved ones safe from discouragements, probably lying will linger longer than we expect. No matter how much we wanted to tell the truth, the bold truth, there is still a very powerful grip behind lying...
• United States
9 Mar 09
Marg- You are very right, a lot of people lie because the ego cannot bear to face the truth. It's funny because I get blasted quite a bit for being "too honest". I just can't seem to bring myself to lie about anything, never have been able to. It does blind people at times, much like the poet Emily Dickinson wrote. However, I can't bring myself to be anything other. Blessings-Anora
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Better that than go with the "norm". Stay on what you believe. Thank you anora. You never knew how much this response made my day.
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
9 Mar 09
99% of the people lie to cover up their weaknessess.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
I think it's more of fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of conflict, fear of being unpopular and there is the general conception of Fear of Truth.
• India
12 Mar 09
People lie coz thy cant face the truth in their life :) I feel ppl who lie r cowards :)) ...