So, Does he like me?
By dreemsofdark
@dreemsofdark (714)
United States
March 10, 2009 10:45am CST
So i went on this blind date with this guy that I wasn't expecing to be into at all but as it turns out, I am super into him! It started with Dinner (mexican) and a movie (The Watchmen) I am a very animated movie watcher so the whole time he's like "are you ok" and "I guess this is a bad first date movie" but really The Watchmen is the only movie out right now that I even want to see. So the movie is over and we're talking in front of our cars and finally I invite him over to my house to hang out.
We end up watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and Family Matters, and then The Birdcage. While we're watching TV he has his hand on my knee and he's doing the thumb rub on my knee. We smoke the hookah and talk all night! He killed a roach for me and told me all about his family and everything! by 6:30 in the morning Miranda (my roommate) wakes up and makes us coffee. He has to go because I have to go to work and he has to go to school, and so I walk him outside and I initiate a hug and he says he had a great time and to keep in touch.
I was really really excited and then less than 24 hours later he texted me saying thanks for going out with him and he had a wonderful time! I tell him I had a great time too and I invite him to my birthday party this saturday, but since then I have not heard a response.
So the question is, what's going on here? Is he not responding because he's rearranging his plans and doens't want to back out last minute? Is he just not interested but was being nice before? Am I just obsessing over it and wait for him to text/call me again?
I want EVERYONE'S opinion of if you think he likes me or not. Remember these things:
1) He initiated the Date and drove almost an hour up north to see me
2) He bought me movie and a dinner and stayed up talking and watching tv with me until 7 AM (the movie was at 9:15 pm)
3) He killed a roach for me
4) He had his hand on my knee and was rubbing it with his thumb (I'd like to know what sort of body language THAT means too, boys)
5) he texted me less than 24 hours later to thank me for a wonderful time
6) He hasn't responded to my invite to a party this saturday.
3 people like this
4 responses
@tea512 (687)
• United States
11 Mar 09
dreemofdark sounds like it went great for a first date. He did not run away and you did not get on his nerves or turn him off as he would have left. You might be pushing him into an awkward situation with the birthday party it could be to soon for that. The hand on the knee was to make a connection feel the spark, if you pulled away he would have known where you stand. I think you have to relax and cool the jets it is not going to happen overnight, even though you were together overnight, but I think you are on the right track, if this is what you want.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
12 Mar 09
I totally agree. It sounds like it was an awesome first date. I don't think he would have had his hand on your knee if there wasn't some level of interest. My date last night had his hand on my knee too, but I knew ahead of time he was interested lol. I agree with tea that it makes a connection and I read a response that said it meant easy, but I don't think that's the case because it's not like you slept with the guy.
He did send you a msg about having a good time and wanting to keep in touch, so maybe like what tea said it could have been a little too much right now; like huge social situation with friends and possible family which can be intimidating to a man after a first date.
1 person likes this
@dreemsofdark (714)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Well, as it turns out, I couldn't help myself so I called him to ask if he even GOT the invite, and I decided right off that I was NOT going to worry about it anymore, so I called, it went to voicemail, and I deleted his number to put my mind off of it. Well about 30 minutes later he calls me and says that he's already going to be in town with his roommate and that he'd LOVE to come to the birthday party as long as him and his friend finish their business in town on time! And he was really cool and nice and said like 3 or 4 times that he really DOES want to go, he just doesn't know the schedule yet! I am SO excited and glad that he's still interested. but, I haven't re-added his number, and I'm not going to until something further happens, because it's not worth my time to sit and be anxious about a person no matter how exciting it may be. So thanks for your advice and I'll try my best to keep it slow and "be cool" about everything, LOL. I'll post another update after my birthday party this saturday! wish me luck!
@angel_kaycee (1112)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
of all the things you said, i may say that he likes you. a man would never mind doing such thing for nothing. but then again, my advise is don't put too much expectations still. don't rush, so that everything will flow slowly and smoothly. guys don't like being rushed, they find it irritating and stressful. but then again, its up to you both where this dating would go. anyway, good luck. and happy mylotting!
2 people like this
@dreemsofdark (714)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Thank you! as it turns out, I decided that I needed to STOP worrying about it so I deleted his number, knowing that I had the number on my computer if I ever REALLY needed to get a hold of him, but I deleted it as a sort of i'm NOT going to think about him anymore. 30 minutes after i delete his humber he called me and said he'd love to come to my birthday party! I'm SO excited!
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8857)
• Singapore
11 Mar 09
dreemsofdark,
I believe I'd like to share an old adage plus a little modification with you here where it says: "One step at a time, for it is being slow and steady that will win the race eventually." It may perhaps be wise to apply this on yourself.
If you are weary about his intention, avoid haste and making irrational decisions.
You might like him, but it doesn't mean that he is suitable for you. At least not now, as it is really too early to determine this. Hence, your next course of action would be to figure out if he is the right fit - at least a comfortable fit.
Halt the emotions for just a moment first - enjoy the companionship naturally, without placing yourself into some self-constructed commitment and/or unnecessary pressure on the other party and relationship as well. Since you both are still within the 'friendship' zone, then behave and think likewise (albeit you probably will not be able to feel along this direction, but that's alright).
Cheers.
@skysuccess (8857)
• Singapore
11 Mar 09
dreemsofdark,
Just if I may add here, that you need to picture yourself doing a marathon here than a century sprint. You need to strategies, patient, pace evenly and not let yourself run out of steam. Never be too fast and predictable, it is always natural to be excited but you will need to be careful yourself too.
I think you are getting the gist of things and should not be too over anxious. Remember good things always comes with patience and that will include relationship.
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus
1 person likes this
@dreemsofdark (714)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I like what you're saying, and I agree. I DO want him to be a friend FIRST, because if he's not a good friend he would definetally NOT be a good partner. I try not to get too excited about these things but it has never happened to me before and so I don't know what my next move should be! I want to let him know I am interested but that it's also not a big deal if he doesn't like me (I admit when i wrote this yesterday it was a big deal but i've calmed down) I just thought it would be a lot of fun.
1 person likes this
@dreemsofdark (714)
• United States
12 Mar 09
THANK YOU, you are SO right! I need to just pace myself, because otherwise things will burn out quickly and if it burns out quickly there's not going to be any foundation to stand on! So thank you thank you thank you for your advice and I am excited about everything going on!
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
11 Mar 09
1)Tells how far he is willing to go for a good time.
2)He didn't spend all that much money
3)It's what guys are supposed to do
4)He had his hand on your knee testing the water and you let him get very familiar the first time out. Message sent: I'm easy.
5)He has some manners and was being polite and he did havea good time but it may not mean anything.
6)He has a life and isn't in a hurry to get attached to one person especially after only one date.
Don't put too much into this outing. If you hear from him again, great; if not that is ok too. You will have many more dates and lots more fun. Try holding back a little in the future; guys need a little mystery to keep them interested.
1 person likes this
@dreemsofdark (714)
• United States
11 Mar 09
This is a good perspective on things, but, I can't agree with you. This was a really nice guy and I invited him to a party, not another date. So i'm just trying to get him involved in my life, but not necesarily exclusive, because, if he doesn't mesh with my friends, then he's not a right fit for me because my friends ARE my family and they come first!
1 person likes this
