How do you deal with a difficult person?

@ejohn82 (155)
India
March 15, 2009 8:09am CST
How would you behave with a person who is constantly critisizing at every opportunity or who is point-blank rude? Do you ignore people who behave rudely or do you behave with them as they behave with you? Are they your friends or your co-worker? I usually try to ignore such people and keep them at a distance, I tend to hit back only when it crosses the limit. How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts. Thanks.
1 person likes this
29 responses
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
16 Mar 09
Well, I would believe that a difficult person is someone who delibrately try to make things difficult for others, and in the process takes happiness in other people's misfortunes. There is a fine line between bluntness and rudeness. And there is also a thin line between someone who is just frank (speaking their minds) and someone who is just pessimistic and loves to critise a lot. I guess one would have to know that person into detail to know if he/she is just difficult or genuine. Furthermore, it all depends on one's perspectives. To one, the person is critising, but to another, they might just think that the person just has a dark humour. It all depends. I'm also a person who is just plain blunt, and sometimes just speak without thinking or vetting through my words. People who do not know me well might find me plain rude or even someone who just critisize at anything that does not meet up to my expectations. However, people who know me well knows that whatever I have spoken is just the plain truth, and that I have not sweetened my words by vetting through them and being careful at the way I put across things. I'm not tactfully honest, but just bluntly honest. Some people do not like the way I handle things but some people appreciate the honesty as they know for a fact that I meant what I say as it is and that I don't mince my words. I don't change my charactor and the way I react to things in accordance to situations. Rather, I still remain the same old me regardless of who I am with or where I am at - be it at home, with friends or in the workplace. Of course, when I meet people who are blunt and tell things as it is, they somehow or rather would gain my trust straight away as opposed to people who seems all nice and smiley to my face. One will never know when they will just stab me in my back. I love being with friends and colleagues who are blunt as I know if they say I look bad, then yes I do look bad. I trust what they say. Coming to the point of critisms, I don't think that I am someone who critisize a lot. Rather, i have a rather dark sense of humour. And sometimes, I will also apply that dark humour on myself and degrade myself with my own words. Some call it rude, some call it funny whereas there are also some who says that I puncture everything I say with sacarsm. Well.. what can I say? Lol. How do I deal with people who critisise at every single opportunity? Well I deal with these people by poking fun at them. From there, I know if there are just taking delight in critising and bringing down others, or they have self decrepating humour like me. How about you? Please share your thoughts with us too! =)
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
16 Mar 09
Both of my sisters were like that. The oldest passed on, and the youngest is still with us. They were always critical, in fact so was my mother. Needless to say after I got married we move outside of the city. They all live in the city. If I got together with any of them, it would be separately and not all together. As being all together, guess who got picked on. After awhile, I would just get quiet, and not say anything. The less I saw of them, the more I had control of my life, they liked to interfere. Don't get me wrong I love my sisters, and mother, but could do with out the criticism. After all their lives were not all that perfect, but I did not dare saying anything to them, as they thought their lives were perfect.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
yeah i understand. My elder brother would that too. So i can understand how you feel
• United States
16 Mar 09
It doesn't bother me anymore, after so many years, one just lets it go and gets on with their own lives.
@akki16 (81)
• India
15 Mar 09
Most of the time it infuriates me when i am criticized .I often go on the rampage and retaliate by thrashing the critic. To keep myself easy on such situations i am now asked to wear a ring .The critics are often my co workers cuz my friends know me very well. I criticize myself on such a bad habit of mine.It needs to be taken care of..
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
such people you will find only in your office.thnks for your response
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I think most of us will face such people in an office bcoz you cannot avoid but work with them.
• China
16 Mar 09
I think there are many people like that around we.for me ,I just ignor them when i met.And i'm not making friend with them .If they're my co-worker, I just talk about the work .
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I too keep my distance from such people. Keep my interactions with them to the minimal.
• United States
16 Mar 09
Ignoring them is usually the best policy it drives them nuts. However if you say something about how immature people can be that really irriates them too! But stooping to their level is unnessacary and just gives them power.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
i agree with you, such people just try hard to get a response from us and when we don't they hate it. thnks for the response
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
16 Mar 09
i will usually ignore the person... i don't want to waste my precious time dealing with those kind of people... they are just not worth my time and i better use my time for other more useful uses... unless if the person is already too much and cross my limit, then i will say something to him/her... otherwise, i usually stay away and apply the principle that 'silence is golden'... take care and have a nice day...
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I think so too. Thnks for the response
• China
16 Mar 09
Like most people here, when I meet those rude people,I usually ignore them as well. Because it make no sense to talk with them rationally at that time, even more the atmosphere with the nasty person will effect other people. So I think it will be better to be patient to those guys, maybe one day,they will turn to a gentlemen.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I hope so too. Someday their attitude will change
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
just simply don't deal with them,.stay away from those people is the best way to avoid long discussion.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
thnks dear. will try this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
16 Mar 09
i have a co-worker.he is a sales partment manager.he is really bad guy i never saw before.sel-fish and blackness .we are in different department.it is lucky that he has no right to judge my work.but sometimes he needs my help but i really don't want to help.many other co-worker complained him .but he seems ok to all other co-workers.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I am facing a similar situation. Only difference this is person is in my dept.
@rabiaf (1)
• Pakistan
16 Mar 09
Depends on the situation you are in. Sometimes its goos to keep quite and some times you just feel like giving a bluntly rude answer to that person just to show him that you are not dumb and you were just ignoring his stupid ideas and critisizm
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
hmmm...i think so too. you shoud let the other person know too.
@JoEy137 (17)
• United States
16 Mar 09
how i deal with a difficult person is simply TRY and ignore them. nothing makes them madder and yes some people are just plain twits and wont ever leave someone alone then please feel free to show them that! like i was dealing with friends who would be just mad at me and not even tell me why or as in the case of my ex who i constantly told him that i love him i love him and that i thought he was gorgeous but after 2 years i had to break it off...i was a broken record. lol some dealing with difficult people is a pain but if they cross the line show them they did and you mean business about it. thats what i would do.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I totally agree with you. Thanks for the response
@mamalev (264)
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
There are lots of people that are rude so just ignore them because lowering yourself to their level will not make things any better. There are better ways to criticize being rude is not one of them. If that person is someone who is close to you or a friend think of something that you could criticize in that person and do it in a nice way so that he/she will have an idea what good criticism is all about.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
Ya you are right. If we do what they do then there is hardly any difference betwn them and us.
@major310 (42)
• United States
15 Mar 09
I just find it easier to ignore them and act like they never existed that way I don't need to deal with any more problems than I already have now. difficult people just act the way they do just so they can get what they want and become rude because they think they deserve more respect than they are giving you.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I agree with you. Thnks for the response
@weemam (13377)
15 Mar 09
I would try to ignore them BUT if they were nasty I find it really hard to say something , People who are like this usually like people to argue with them so they can put you down , so don't rise to it if you can possibly help it Wee xx
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I pretend as if I have not heard them.
@yanzalong (17393)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 09
I am gonna stop him/her the way I do to make people shut up. To be honest, I've never had such an experience of being critized constantly. Sometimes I do the same as you do--ignore them.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
Its best way to avoid confrontation-ignoring. But the problem such people take it as a weakness hence continue to do what they are already doing.So the chances such people wont change unless there is a miracle
@ronnyb (6117)
• Jamaica
15 Mar 09
Very good discussion as this is a situation faced by many persons and many are unable to deal with these situations.Personally I try to be as civil as I can ,in fact I may be downright nice in the hope that they will realise that they are being overbearing .Luckily this method will only work if the person involved has a conscience otherwise they will only continue being overbearing and then your life will continue to be miserable.I hope that this all works out for you because if this is someone at your workplace than it is really going to be bad
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
You guessed it right. I have this senior who tries to find some or the reason to criticise me or find fault with me. I getting along with everyone except this guy. Problem is he is in my dept so I don't have a choice but to put up with his rude behaviour. I try my best to ignore. He wants me to retaliate in some manner, which I try not to.
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
I would probably stay away from them coz i dont want any trouble.. Sometimes when you have difficulty with the person you tend to be frank with him/her then sometimes he/she just cant understand then it will probably end up to trouble.. So its better to stay away from them to avoid some fights.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
You can be frank with such people only if they are approachable. I feel such people try to be rude only to get a response from you, try to instigate you. Its best to ignore them
@ronharold (555)
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
I talk to them frankly. If they don't listen then I just ignore them.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
yeah i think so too. Its best to ignore them
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
15 Mar 09
Rude ! - Plenty of such people around,still Life is Beautiful!
Hi, If U see around,observe closely U'll find these people in Office/society,even at Home(possibly). Firstly,U cannot change them overnight.So,better Change Urself. Have patience & courtsey.Listen to them.keep ur smile on. Listem more,talk less & relevant.Ur body language should give him/her signals. Be professional in approach.never sentiments should disturb Ur course of action. Remember,even ice melts.u've keep enough patience. =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
Thnks for the tips will definitely try them. Thnks for the resaponse.
• China
15 Mar 09
Try to ignore them. dont give them too much chance to talk with u. because it's hard to tell them what's right, what's wrong. they have their own "theory"
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
16 Mar 09
I try and ignore such persons. Thanks for your response