Can ex-girl/boyfriends become friends ?

@NrgDfenZ (1810)
Belgium
March 15, 2009 12:30pm CST
Hi all I was wondering if you could become friends with your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend.. I think you can be friends, but it will always be kind of strange, I don't know why, perhaps because you have done so many things, and shared so many things that it becomes strange to look at him/her when you don't love him/her anymore.. Well my ex-girlfriend for example suddenly likes me again, perhpas she is not in love with me, but she is so friendly, ever since I had a relationship again, she might be jealous, I don't know, I just think it is strange.. So what do you think? Thx
4 people like this
36 responses
@kcjy1984 (10)
• Australia
16 Mar 09
it all depends.. depends on how close and which level ur relationship went til.. depends on how u both view this relationship.. depends on who hurt who.. it all depends..
1 person likes this
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
15 Mar 09
It depends on how the relationship ended. If they ended up well, perhaps they could be friends again given some time. It's hypocritical to say your ex-lover is now your best friend after a really bad break up.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 09
Although impossible I think all relationships should end in friendships. Relationships are learning experiences and just because it may go sour does not mean you should hold a grudge forever.
1 person likes this
@elitess (5071)
• Ipswich, England
15 Mar 09
Hello friend. Yes they can become friends but in my humble opinion if they did not brake up on a mutual consent, they should avoid it, or at least wait some time before trying to be just friends, as the one that still loves the other will suffer otherwise.
1 person likes this
@zahfran (851)
• Singapore
15 Mar 09
Hi NrgDfenZ, I personally have been in this kind of situation but it feels really weird so we just decided not to see one another again. However, some of my friends are still in contact with their ex. I don't know how they do. It depends on the person actually. Some people are able to, and some no. :)
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (42594)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Mar 09
I think that it's possible for exes to become friends. It may not be possible for everyone, but it certainly can happen for some. I think that it's just the way it is. It's just like we're friends with some, and not with others. It's the same thing with exes, I believe. Some exes can become friends, and not others.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 09
I think it depends on the relationship as well as the maturity level of the people involved. It also depends on the drama level the exs try to cause or not cause. I talk to 2 of my exs from when I was between the ages of 17 and 21 and we talk online. We dont talk too often and its usually just a comment on Myspace or whatever. Nothing big. I talk to my ex husband, thats mainly because we have kids. We are fairly good friends and if he is having trouble with work or his new wife he usually tells me about whatever is going on. We are pretty cordial with each other for the most part. Neither of us causes drama in the others lives and relationships so that helps. And he talks to my current husband whenever he picks up/drops off the kids or whatever. Be careful though because she might just be trying to cause drama for you and your current girlfriend. You cant really tell until you try it though.
1 person likes this
@dsrtrose (166)
• United States
16 Mar 09
I have become friends with my ex husband as well as ex boyfriends. I try to think in the now and not in the past to make it weird. I however have more difficulty making up to ex girlfriends, for some reason I am less forgiving the hurts of women than men???
• United States
16 Mar 09
If you can forgive men why not women too? That I don't understand.
@dsrtrose (166)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I am not sure. I think the hurt is more personal and somehow less forgiving. Strange I know. Forgiveness is forgiveness, but for me it is just a little harder because with women I tend to share things that may never be shared with a man, To be betrayed after sharing such a large piece of myself is just more difficult to do.
• United States
16 Mar 09
I don't think its a good idea to become friends with an ex. It makes things to complicated and weird. Have you ever heard of the fastest way to lose a good friend is to start dating them. I believe that. I think it is always better to keep everything seperate. Plus when you start dating someone else it might make them uncomfortable as well. I think its just to ood. That is my opinion.
• United States
16 Mar 09
You're so right that the fastest way to lose a good friend is to start dating them! That's exactly what happened to me years ago with a guy who had been my best friend in high school. We fell into becoming lovers shortly after we graduated but now we are no longer friends or even speak to one another because our dating relationship ended badly. Which is fine with my husband but it still bothers me that that friendship ended.
• United States
27 Mar 09
You can try, the thing is that there are 2 people involved in this. And if one doesn't see the way the other does, then it's not going to work. Both of you have to be at the same path/level in which this is going to work. If the other one doesn't feel the same, don't even expect it to be successful.
@icecroft (449)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
There's no problem with being friends with your ex. As long as there's already closure between the two of you. Being friends with them when one still has feelings for the other would make your friendship a tad bit complicated. But yeah, I do agree that it can be very awkward. After all, you've shared intimate moments together. I also think that if you've been very good friends prior to your relationship, then there's a bigger chance of you being good friends again. If the foundation is strong and you didn't go thru a bad break-up, then there's nothing that can hinder your friendship at all.
@rckayla09 (113)
• United States
16 Mar 09
I think it is possible to be friends with an ex, however, it has never happened with me. Unfortunately all of my past relationships ended badly no matter what I did or said to stay friends with the guys. And now I'm not so sure I'd want to see a guy I once dated before I got married 11 years ago.
• United States
16 Mar 09
I have maintained friendships with all my ex's save for 2.. and my ex husband. I don't see why not, although if you ask my current beau, he says its not possible. His way of thinking is Exs are Exs for a reason. Sometimes though its hard, cuz if i talk with an ex too long, and i m feeling lonely.. i ll fall back into those old feelings. So maybe you shouldn't stay friends with an ex.
@kyle32 (65)
• United States
16 Mar 09
i am only 17 and iam very mature i went out with a girl for 6 years (yes i said 6 years) and we broke up and to this day we are still friends i call her and talk to her like anyother person she is mt bestfriend
@izathewzia (5139)
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
Yes, they can be friends if they end up their relationship in a good manner. No hurt feelings and ill treatment. They can end up as friends if they wanted it. Life is too short to waste building enemies than friends.
@Acrush (2)
• China
16 Mar 09
Hi you, i don't think ex-girlfrind and ex-boyfriend can be friends again. However, it also depends on the relationship of them.
@subha12 (18449)
• India
16 Mar 09
It is very tough question. There can be very sensitive situation. What i believe there will be some emotion left if you are in constant touch. It is not so easy.But it is also possible.
• China
16 Mar 09
I think it is very hard to become friends,you harmed each other,you waste each other's time.When you love him/her,you can not mind,but if you not love ,can you not mind ,I think I can not. on the other hand,become friend is not equal to your current lover in my option,so only a stanger.
• United States
16 Mar 09
I am friends with all of my friends. Some more than others, but all just the same. Even if I don't talk to them much it's because of distance between cities, not because we are not friends. It is very possible. But yes, for some it will be weird.
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
it depends on the situation, and also to peoples involved...