trying to help a loved one find a long lost brother

United States
November 10, 2006 1:05pm CST
ive never had to find anyone before so im just roaming the internet and came across this sight and i figurted i had nothing to lose, im a mom of three who is quickly losing my childs father to drugs, ive never had any of those problems or and didnt have friends or family with drug problems so this is new to me, after becoming engaged and pregnant i discovered my soon to be husband had real drug issues that he spent years keeping from me entirly, once i discoved it it then became out of control, jail, stealing, robbing, and now dissapearing for months at a time he has ne friends no family the only one he mentioned was a brother that he was seperated from at the age of four which was about 29 years ago, his both parents have died years ago father died in jail and mother died at the hands of the father which is what landed the father in jail the last time around. from what i understand and could remember from talking to my fiance they had lived in the bronx the father was a biker and she a bikers wife there was the two boys my fiance and his younger brother by four years, i think the younger brother was from another man and thats why when the father went to jail the boy went to live with the unknown father, never to be seen again by my fiance and it was never to be talked about again in my fiances grandmothers home( which is the one who raised him ) now shes in jewish home and hospital and is so far gone she does not recognize anyone so i cant go to her for info, my fiance is so far gone that i feel his life will end very soon if i cant find someway to get through to him the drug programs he is in refuse to speak with me or anyone else even take messages so i cant turn to them im low income so i cant hire anyone to track this younger brother im at a loss i really believe that if by some miracle i can find this brother it may make a difference at one time he had it all wife, kids, new car, great job working in the morgue im the bronx and he took a wrong turn in his early 20s and lost everything going from jail to jail program to program from stealing 20 dollors every once and a while to stealing hundreds from me and selling all of our newborns things. going to detoxes methadone programs to becoming violant. from what i understand all the men on my fiances fathers side of the family have never lived as long as my fiance ( 33 ) i have nothing but my fiances prior address ( grandmothers in the bronx ) and his social security number i dont have his birth certificate, nothing else to work with to begin to track down this missing brother not the fathers name or mother or brother and i cant get a birth certificate without my fiance which is on the road the death how do i even begin to get the only person who might save his life in the ticking time that i have left ? i know i could do it somehow if i had his birth certificate or i could even just see my fiance and kind of try to get the father and mother info from him in a non obvious way but i cant find him his out there with no home no family no one address living on the street somewhere roaming around in the bronx if anyone has any ideas that may help in the aid of my journey i would much apreciate it if i was unclear about my description im truly sorry im nervous and never did this before and the story is so long and sorted i dont know how to wrap it up so quickly
2 responses
@salex142 (686)
• United States
10 Nov 06
I am so sorry to hear that u are going through this. I dont know much about trying to find people online. Have u tried Since u have his SS# maybe u can enter that in and find his new address. I think it may cost extra for more info.. Hoepfully some other people her on MyLot may have some answers. Sorry I could help more... Hope everything works out
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 07
i read what you wrote, and it looks like you've gone through alot. i found a brother i never knew i had via the internet. its easier to find a male than a female because once she marries her name changes. but you can try, and also you said he is jewish, you can try jewish genealogy site. do a search and it should come up. or just put in jewish genealogy and you should be directed to the right site. i found family all over the country that way. i do hope that you and your husband find what you are looking for, and in hopes to find the peace that you need. i will admit that finding family isn't the answer to all the problems. many times they carry the scars of their childhood too. my brother has many problems do to the fact that he grew up his whole life with my father. that affected his whole life. and not in a good way. but since i found him, it has answered so many questions that i had about my father, and all the things my mind blocked out. and i have grown to love him, even though we haven't met yet. its been about 3 or so years, but we keep in contact over the phone. he's in Calif. and i'm in Penna. and neither one of us has the money to go visit each other. by the way, i am 51 yrs. old and my brother is 8 years younger than myself. i spent over half my life not knowing that i even had a brother. it was an amazing experience making that first phone call to him and us making that connection. but as to when we will meet, God only knows. so we will wait till the time is right, and when its in God's plan. it will happen. i do hope and pray for you and your family to find the answers that you are looking for. its a long road, but it starts with the first step. may God bless you and your family. and i wish you the best. L'Chiam, Lee***