Empty nest -who is right?

Honestly I think that they are both right. With technology today you can even see your older parents everyday. But there is nothing better than being next to them.

Hi, mansha! Yes, this is true! And the phone, email and wireless technologies make this possible. But, if the elder is too sick and out to use these items, then it means nothing to have them. If they can't make it to the phone in time, then they can pass out and no one will know. An medical alert device for elders or someone that can't get up to call for help is another option to consider. A nurse may have the device at home and can come to the attention of this person. They will then contact family and friends that can be notifed about this persons condition.

I think they are both basically right. With todays technology we can check up and talk to our parents and other people for that matter. It also depends on the parents if they need the help or not and how often. We get wood for my parents and are close enough that if we got a call we could be there within 20 minutes or less. I know that seems like a long time if something is wrong but I don't think most people live right next door to their parents for the most part. In the end I think that we love our parents and are there for them when they need us or even just want to talk to us. We all move out (well most of us) and make our own lives. It doesn't mean that we aren't there for our parents.

I have a little live experience of it. It has happened two years earlier. My uncle lives in a metropolitan city "Mumbai". He has a son and two daughters. All of them are married. The daughters of course moved along with their husbands. The son got married just then and moved to the new city Pune which is only 3 hours away from Mumbai. Now, my uncle and aunt were alone at their house. Although their son could manage to come home every weekends and could talk to them every now and then, they looked to me as a sad parents. When I went their, my aunt was all broken up. They wanted their son to live in their own house but the son didn't want to live with them. He has the same excuse that "If I can come every weekend and you can tlk to me every day then what is the need for me to come live with you guys?". I didn't see them happy at all!

The boss was both right and wrong. Right because when the kids are in the distant places surely if somebody does the job the purpose is served but the thing is that old parents need the physical presence of their children than the precious 'nectar'.His version is too materialistic and mechanical.

Your husband is right. Your mother has taken the pain to carry you in her womb for ten months, suffered delivery pangs, took care of you when you were an infant, endured your bratty behavior as a kid, probably scarified a lot to raise you up to what you are.... and now when they are old and really need you, you are not around!

Being empty nesters, even though our sons can email us, and telephone us, we would want them to come over and visit or bring something over for supper because my husband is disabled and I do not drive. I miss seeing my granddaughter and since my sons both work, the only time we can have over here is on the weekends. So an email or a phone call or having someone else come over in place if something goes wrong is not the same. We're rather have them here physically at least once every two weeks.

i have to agree with both of them but there is nothing like the personal touch when it comes to people. i find because my dad just passed away, my mom is sort of lost, so what would you do in a case like that?

i'm not convinced that he is 100% right on that. it all depends on the parents and if they have the latest technology and use it. I don't know really. I'm 52... just last year, I spent months caring for my mom who even tho she had the phone was not able to communicate well with it. 3 of my 4 girls are grown and moved on...sort of...they always keep bouncing back which I don't mind at all. Still...it is hard for me to imagine them taking care of me altho I know they would. Over the internet?...nope....I have internet and they do not.

While I do communicate with my mom every day, either in email, chat or over the phone...it's not the same as being there. My parents are 1,000 miles away and it sometimes makes me miss them more when I hear their voices on the phone. I'm glad that my sisters and brother are nearby to help them when they need it.

Yes, technology can help us to be closer to our parents in some ways, but not as much as actually living near them. Sure, I can call my parents, and I could even call a friend or relative to go over there if something happened, but it is not the same as if I were right there and able to go myself. I may be able to call their local emergency number, but I would not be able to physically be there to help them, which I do think is important. Regardless of how much easier it is to get help to them, if I am not there, they are not going to feel the sae as they would if I were at there side.

I don't thimk its the same even though there is tecnology its not the same we still need to be there for them as they will be there for us if something should happen. Also they were there for us as we were growing up.

hi,mansha, when our parents get older enough, call,email,or other modern product will be nothing for them . these advanced product can not lustrate loneliness from them. they need us to touch their hands or look at their eyes . call ,email can not instead of relation.

given a choice between being physically there, but spiritually absent and spiritually there, but physically absent.. I would opt for the second. our aging parents need our love more than our practical help most of the time. so if we cannot be there for them in real-time, we can ensure that they feel assured of our love and our caring for them at all times thru these technological means mentioned by that boss. physical care can be provided by any professional care agency thru homecare services, but not love.

I'd have to agree that in part, both views are totally valid. Now that I'm older and can't do all the things I used to do, I'd be totally lost without my youngest daughter and her family to help me with things. My other daughter and family, lives around a 3 hour drive away, and while I do miss her physical presence, I realize she has her own family and responsibilities. I don't get to see her, or her family, that often, so they got me a cell phone that's listed on their family plan, and with their area code. (Which is really VERY handy because it doesn't cost a dime and it would be long distance charges otherwise!) Since the cell phone, we now are able to keep in touch as she calls each day, or every other day if she's extremely busy. Not all elders *need* to have a child close by, unless it's for health reasons. A talk on the phone is just as wonderful and still lets a parent and child keep connected, no matter what their age or distance. Computers are good, but only if the elder is willing to learn some new technology along the way :-)

hi mansha yes I see both sides and yes technology does help also it pays tohave someone who is close to the parents to' help in case the grown kids cannot get there in time. sometimes'things can not be done over the phone and require a physical presence of' some one who can help.

well yes you can keep in contact through pc and phone which is what my other kids do with me. but iam very fortunate that my youngest took care of me for a while when i first became ill then disabled and now my oldest has me living with him to help us both. i've never really had to deal with no kids living with me or me living with one of them. but then i have 5. and only one i can not stand to live with

Nowadays, most people prefer to live away from their parents. It is understandable, and the elderly will standby to support whenever there is the need. To show proper care for the parents, a regular call is minimum, and if possible scheduled visit is appreciated. As long as we keep the other in heart, life goes on as well.