Between you and your partner, who is the bigger person?

Philippines
March 17, 2009 7:31pm CST
I don't mean literally here guys. What I mean is who always understand, who always see the bigger picture, who always say sorry and work things out, things like that. I kinda wonder if it's more of the girls than the guys. 'cause they say that girls are more matured than guys which I kinda think it's true based on some things that I usually see in a relationship.
4 people like this
31 responses
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well for me there is no big person a relationship because when you get to a relationship you should understand each other so that no bigger or the what you called superior. We know it is not easy to rut down our pride but we should try to put it off so that the relationship will be fine and last.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Yeah, that's totally right. But sometimes, things doesn't always happen that way in a relationship which is sad 'cause like what you said both parties should give equal effort.
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well yeah right because there is no relationship is perfect. But sometimes we girls feel bossy that boys can't understand because we don't say it directly to them what is the problem.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Yeah, we girls are bossy but in a sweet way, I guess. The guys need to just deal with it, lol
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
i dont know.. im more understanding then him .. but he always the person who say sorry first. and his the one who makes an effort to make it up when we have fights.........
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well, that's just nice to hear. At least, it shows that you guys both wanna work things out and don't want the fight to get further. Thanks for the response.
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
im happy to share!
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Usually I see the bigger picture than her. She only sees the instant profit, but she never see the future in this way. Probably educational level was different. We have a long way to work this out.
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well, hope you guys could work that out. It's just a matter of understanding, right? It really takes a bit of patience and that sort of things.
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I'm the bigger person but i'm like The Incredible Hulk. I don't grow big unless provoke. When it's just about petty things, i let my partner take the driver's seat. Which means she may decide on something without me arguing about it. Sometimes when things are too much, i would exercise my authority. Not the violent type though but i become unusually frank to send her the message i want her to know about especially if it's about her wrong behavior.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
That's very typical of a guy, They don't argue for petty things and they just let girls do their thing but when they're provoked, they get so moody, lol
@tlb0822 (1412)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I think that it is myself. I always try to smooth things over, and try to stop the arguments. My fiance has been raised in a way that even when your wrong you don't admit it. So i am usually the bigger person.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
You're so nice for being so understanding. You must really love her a lot
@se7enthbird (8324)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
hmmm. we are married for 6 years now and i think we know each ither so much that i can not say who is the bigger person. i have my tantrums and she understands it. she has also has her topak days har har har, specially when her monthly sickness will be arriving and i can say that i understand her. i think a relationship is more on a give and take not just who can understand more but who will understand when you are not in a great mood and be as understanding as the other when the other mood is not good.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well, I guess guys just need to back off when we girls our having our period 'cause we really tend to be not-so-nice, lol
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
In our relationship, that actually depends on the situation. If he is angry, I get the bigger picture and tries to explain it to him. If I'm angry, he gets to see things in a more brighter side and tries to enlighten me. I think seeing the bigger picture depends really on the person. I cannot say its more likely the girl or more of a guy thing but I think it would depend on how a person feels about it. When a person gets mad, much as he/she wanted to see two sides, most of the time our thinking shrinks into a small box called "belief". If we believe that what we think is right and correct, we may not be as open-minded as we claim to be. So basically, I would want to answer your question as, in seeing the bigger picture, having a more understanding depends on what people chooses to think.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
In my family, my husband is bigger than me now. Now he earned more than me, is more clever than me, and said more sorry to me than I to him. But he is a very good boy, I know he love me so much.
1 person likes this
@HelloMickey (1656)
• Hong Kong
18 Mar 09
My hubby is who always understand, always see the bigger picture, and say sorry. But I am the one who consider all angles of the question, he usually agrees with my suggestion. I am a bit impetuous, he can slow me down.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
i don't think theres a bigger person in our relationship. because as far as i know we're trying our best to handle the relationship together. and besides, after an argument both of us were really sorry. and we both try to resolve the issues. i don't think that having a bigger person in the relationship is really healthy. i don't think it helps the relationship get better. in a relationship there's two persons involved and not only one. so therefore whatever happens and whatever issues their relationship has to go through they should be together in it. and also, i believe in fair treatment to men and women. so i think there should be fairness between the relationship. anyway happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@mizstress (719)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
umm.. let me think! i believe its my bf.. im more of the child in our relationship.. i always has tantrums and he always understands it and when we have arguments he is the first to say sorry. he even say sorry even if he didnt know what hes saying sorry for. he is in charge for the serious matter and im with the lighter side of life.. we are same age but he is more mature than me. so i let him decide on things that has to do with our relationship so no arguments will be on my fault! hehehe
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
There are many times when I feel like I'm the matured one in the relationship. However, it's my boyfriend who really "maintains" the relationship - he keeps on checking if we're fine, he makes sure we go out once in a while, he always asks me when I'm happy :) So I guess we both have our strengths and our weaknesses but I'm sure happy that he's *that* type of guy :) Thanks for the response on my discussion!
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10539)
• Australia
18 Mar 09
Sometimes, I think I know too well but that's living in fantasy. He, on the other hand, is 6 years older than I am so I expect him to be the bigger person but sometimes he's got so much to learn from me as I have much to learn from him. I believe our qualities complement each other so we tend to meet halfway to deal with matters. Nobody knows better on everything. We're not equal. We complement.
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5683)
• India
18 Mar 09
My husband is a great person. He always says sorry whenever something is worng, he understands me a lot and has great patience. Infact I get angry soon eventhough I won't show it out. I am sure that he is the bigger person amoung us.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4536)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I think it is pretty even with us. Neither of us is afraid to apologize, and we both do it frequently. I think that we both came to the realization that whenever we argue, we are both at fault because we both chose to argue.
1 person likes this
@glords (2614)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Lol... I think my hubby and I meet each other half way. I think if one person had to always be the anchor eventually they would snap. I think my hubby is great though... I guess I'd say he is the bigger person... He probably bends 51 % of the time.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well, in my case, I am the one who just keep quiet and understand the situation. I don't usually make simple things a big deal. Hubby has always the say, I just have mine once in a while but.. once I am hurt, It is obvious to him and he is the one who say sorry, But I have my share too, if I made that mistake I have to ask apology.
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
In our relationship with me and my bf, everything is equal He's the one who sees the "perfect picture" of our future
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
That sounds great. Hope that every relationship is just like that
@carrine (2748)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
hmmmm, its hard to explain, ive been single for almost 2 years. LOl well, my during our time when were still together, at the beginning hes the one who always understands me, iam the superior one, on the later part, wow hes stepping on my level already, LOOOOL.. and for me, i feel like wow, what a sudden change, and he said, im tired of you, your attitude. LOL so, the relationship for me is not healthy anymore, so i give up. whew.. though i was hurt then that time, but i am okay now. hahahaha
@mansha (6301)
• India
19 Mar 09
I think that would be my hubby. He is like that not only with me but in every relationship he has. He will forgive his brothers, his mom , his friends and will be the first one to say sorry or do something else to make things better. He is not the one who tries to please everyone he meets but his manner is such that he just makes everyone feel better and things go on smoothly.