He Hurt My Feelings....
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
March 19, 2009 8:45pm CST
So, today, I thought was going to be a pretty good day. I was in a good mood for most of the day. That was until Mr. FedEx popped in. He walked over to me and we started talking. I was joking and said that we didn't have any packages for him today unless he wanted to take me with him. He said that he would have no room because he had to pick up another driver. I said, "That's not right, this is the second time you've shot me down when I offered to go with you". Now, this was ALL in a joking manner. Well, he popped off and said, "Yeah, I know. I'm sure I will regret it one day, right?". I just turned around and didn't talk to him the rest of the time he was there, even when he told us all to have a "wonderful" day. I just kept on working.
You know, I know that he isn't interested, but dang to say something like that really hurt my feelings. I know he won't regret passing up on me but I NEVER asked him to talk to me. I've backed off and he has come to me, I've left him alone. I haven't asked him for anything. I know I'm probably not good enough for him in his eyes and that's fine, I don't have to be good enough for him. But I AM GOOD ENOUGH for someone special and I hope I find him soon. When he comes along, I know he will feel lucky to have me in his life and not look at me and think "OH, well, I can live without her".
Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I've already backed off, now I'm really going to back off. I could care less if he ever says one word to me again.
Has someone ever said something to you and it hurt your feelings? Maybe they didn't mean it the way it sounded(which I'm going to give Mr. FedEx the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't mean it the way he said it).
10 people like this
29 responses
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
20 Mar 09
I have been telling you that he wasn't into you but as all people who have a kick on someone, we don't want to believe it and it is understandable because our heart is a traitor..darn it..and it's hard to get rid of a feeling for someone.
It's not that you are not good enough for him..you are not *for* him. You are not his type and you have been coming onto him with all you inuendoes, looks and hugs. Everyone knowing also..he knew too but never has been into you. He has just been friendly..but now he had definately told you and sorry to say this but you deserved it. He finally found a way to tell you as nicely as he could. I would have answered.. YOU BET..YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR MISSING.
He had already refused you once, that should have been enough but no you kept on anyway..well am sorry your feelings got hurt but if you want to meet that someone special for you..turn off your feeling for mr. fed-x because you are keeping your love vibes concentrated on him so they can't go out to touch that someone who is looking for his special someone..YOU.
He may not have meant it either in the manner you took it..but he definately isn't interested in you..so keep away from the hugs too. If he comes to do it to you..say..sorry..I'm keeping my hugs for my man. 
He doesn't need to know if you have one or not and you are not lying..you are searching for your man and keeping your hugs for the one you will meet.
If he says..*oh you got a man now.?*.say *you bet ya..am waiting for him.* hehehhe... @singlemommy (2955)
• United States
22 Mar 09
See, that is the thing. When I ignore him or I don't come on to him, he comes to me and tries to talk to me or he give me hugs. I don't ask for the attention. That's how he confuses me. One day, he will go out of his way to talk to me and wants to hug me and other days, he isn't interested. Honestly, if he isn't interested then I would rather he would go out of his way to talk to me. Yeah, I like him being a friend and all and we can chit-chat, but maybe you are right, maybe I should tell him, "NO MORE HUGS"!
1 person likes this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
22 Mar 09
Well, as long as you let him..he will..about time you tell him that you like him more than a friend and wish he didn't hug you anymore because it gives you feelings for him that he hasn't for you..2 people like this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
22 Mar 09
I know what you are going through.it's hard as a nutshell to control our emotions. But you will have to put a stop to it because it's you getting hurt. It's not right for him to do that because he knows you care for him and he doesn't care the same way or maybe he is playing a game. I wouldn't let him hug me anymore. Besides he knows you care for him and is probably flattered. But he may not know it hurts you. So it's up to you girlfriend. I know it's not easy..but you can't keep this up..it will eat you alive.2 people like this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Hi singlemommy! I'm going to shoot very straight with you on this and I hope you know I am your friend and that's what friends do. You are not giving yourself enough credit here. The thing is...that when you feel like you don't deserve or that you are "less" you represent this in ways you don't realize. Not just to Fedex guy but to others around you. You have got to realize that there are things about you that are great and that you have something they should work for. Flirt..that's great and it's fun but that's all flirting is. Express your interest and give it no other thought. The next time you see him..smile and say yeahh..you will..and go on...let him pursue. What makes him so "special" that makes you think you don't deserve him. You are the one who is special..after all your the one givin him he benefit of the doubt. You are strong..you are independant..you are pretty and constantly doing things to better yourself. Exercise..eating well..working..raising a child..my goodness the things you have done and will do..what has this Fedexman done to make you think you don't deserve him? If it's not him I promise..given the fact you regain your confidence after your last bad experience...there is someone just for you. You have to get past the last thing. You have to realize it wasn't your fault that things didn't work out. Hold your head up...take pride in who you are and what you do. You are a great person and you have a lot to offer. Fedex guy does not deserve you my friend.
3 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Wow! I am so glad that I started this discussion if anything to get to read your response. You totally hit it right on the head of the nail. You are so right, he doesn't deserve me. I was actually saying a lot of those things you said to myself today, "Maybe I'm not good enough", "I'm nobody", etc. But what makes me think that I'm not good enough for him? What makes him good enough for me, that is the question.
You are right, I am strong...I have been for a very long time. I've been through more crap in the past couple years than most people have been through their whole life and I'm still standing. I'm independent, I rely on myself, I take care of my kids, I work, etc. I am trying to better myself by exercising and losing weight and I am succeeding in doing that as well. I'm noticing the changes in myself and whether or not anyone else notices them, I don't care because this is for me, not them!
I want to be proud of who I am. I'm a good woman and I want a guy to look at me and say, "I'm lucky to have her in my life". That is what I want more than anything.
Thanks so much for your "pep talk" JenInTN! I really needed it tonight!
3 people like this
@Rustinas1 (438)
• United States
20 Mar 09
I would say that about sums it up, JenInTN! I usually don't read people's comments before I post, but glad I did this time. Otherwise, our comments would be almost identical.
Singlemommy, enjoy being single and free to. Don't rush into anything and yes, you have to stop looking. That's when the right one usually does come along.
Chin up, cheer up, and just put on your basic politeness attitude towards him and act professional. If he's REALLY interested, he won't be able to take you treating him in this manner for long.
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
20 Mar 09
He did say that he had to pick up another person. He didn't say "no, that won't work" or anything like that. He has turned you down on both offers to go with him the first when he had a huge weekend planned and needed rest. The other one now when you were at work and couldn't go anyway. He also had to pick up another person he works with, therefore no room in the truck.
I think you are being overly sensitive to what he says since you care about him. Stop offering to go with him, he knows now that you will so let him ask. If you try too hard you will make him run the other way.
3 people like this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Good grief, I certainly hope you are making much of this story up. If not, how do you cope in this world? You give so much of your power away, don't do that you only rob yourself and no one will even notice, they will just keep taking. Please step back and look at yourself, from what I've read you carry around a sign that says kick me, that will never attract the type of relationship you want. To be loved you must first love yourself, for someone to see your worth you must fist have self worth. All these things you are you just have to work on showing them. Tell yourself the next time you are about to boo hoo, that you are worth too much to allow any jerk to step on you. Look in the mirror and repeat after me, I am a good person, I am a loving person, I have great things to offer the world, AND START TO BELIEVE IT. Blessings Mom has spoken
3 people like this
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
20 Mar 09
Hi singlemommy,
I know how you feel... I've beem going through a lot of these lately from my bf of 2 years.
I'm not gonna go further of it on here but yeah, sometimes people just give you a quip that can really cut deep no matter how much you try to put it down to somethign like a joke or something they just said thoughtlessly...
hugs...
I'm not gonna go further of it on here but yeah, sometimes people just give you a quip that can really cut deep no matter how much you try to put it down to somethign like a joke or something they just said thoughtlessly...
hugs...
3 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I do think you are reading too much into this based on other posts you've written here. I was previously under the impression that he really was interested in you. Let me tell you...i am sensitive also. There was this one guy...everyone called him "Fabio" that used to come in to where I work. Some days he was really friendly...others he was kind of cold. I really didn't know where I stood with him but I did think he was out of my reach. I didn't even set my sites on that one. When he asked me out, I kind of giggled and asked if he was serious. He said...nope and walked out. Then he stopped coming in for a while. One day he came in and asked me again. This time I just went. Come to find out, we were totally reading each other wrong. When I said "are you serious?" ...he got highly offended as if I would not date the likes of him when I really could not believe he was interested in me. These little miscommunications happened to us often thru out the 4 months we dated. We didn't last romantically but he is still a very good friend. I think you guys are just reading each other wrong. I could be wrong but I think you should stop flirting and actually talk straight to each other. Then you'll know one way or another for sure.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Yeah, I think I'm pretty much done with the flirting. I think I'm pretty much done with everything when it comes to this one. I've given him all my attention and he's totally ignored it. What aggravates me is that when I don't give him the attention he gives me the impression that he doesn't like that. Well, if he wants attention then he has to show some attention first because he just isn't worth my time any more.
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Many times I have had someone say something that hurt my feelings. I have had friends that just don't think before they speak and boyfriends that are just plain a$$holes. But I'll tell you think that which does not kill you makes you stronger.. Also it's his flipping loss. Think of it that way.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
20 Mar 09
The heart is a tender thing, because hope lives there, and even when we don't think it's involved, it is. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt sweets, but I love the fact that you KNOW you are worthwhile and that hope still lives within you. Give yourself a hug........you deserve it!
3 people like this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
20 Mar 09
What he said is not necessarily a negative thing. I am not sure with what tone he said that, and maybe you read something in to the tone, that we can not possibly get here, but he could have been saying that, that some day he will have regretted not taking you with him because he missed his shot. But then again I did not hear how he said that to you so it is hard to know his meaning.
2 people like this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
22 Mar 09
If she didn't have feelings for him..she wouldn't be reading the way she is. You see when we love someone we hope that what they are doing is because they are interested. Unfortunately it isn't that at all otherwise he would have asked her out already since he knows she cares for him and he has refused her twice I think when she asked to accompany him with some excuse..trust me when a man thinks he can get you..he will put aside whatever to be with you.1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
20 Mar 09
Hi singlemommy,
Yes, that is the best thing to do, just back off and leave him to it, you don't need to feel like this anymore as its not doing you any good. Stay single and be happy for a while. Hugs.
Tamara
3 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
20 Mar 09
Maybe you are reading too much into it but it doesn't change the fact that this guy can come in and give mixed messages left right and centre from hugs to the cold shoulder etc... It's as though he enjoys the attention but doesn't want to give any of himself. You know what? He's a fool and you deserve soooo much better! Who does he think he is anyway? He's just a guy and God knows there are a lot of them out there! Maybe he didn't mean to hurt your feelings but it seems to me that every time you see him he doesn't leave you feeling great.
Move on and forget him, you are such a nice person; I know you can do better and so you know it too! No one and I mean no one should make you feel that you are not good enough, ever!
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Yes, he definitely has the "mixed signals" going on. You are right, I do deserve so much better. I'm beginning to think that he enjoys my attention and he doesn't like it when I don't give him attention but like you said he doesn't want to return the attention. I deserve more than that!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
21 Mar 09
the thing is he is just being friendly but he doesn't want a relationship, with anyone, perhaps he is married or in a serious relationship and he is just being friendly with his clients.
He is not taking the hints and just leave it at that. Just be friendly that is all, you seem to be either hot or cold, neither way is right. Just smile if he smiles at you talk if he talks to you and keep it professional.
2 people like this
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
There are times when we say things we don’t mean, but for Mr. FedEx case, well, we can’t be sure.
It’s only him who knows what he meant by what he said. Guess, you could give him the benefit of the doubt, but if you ask me, try to distance yourself a little. Because if he understands that he hurts you, then it will give him time to recall what he did, or said that could have caused you to act that way to him. Be happy, and don’t let small things, trivial things get along the way. Smile, be cheerful and think that there are people who get captivated by that smile..
and I know, one day someday, that special someone that you have been waiting for will come and make you the happiest woman ever. So pause, smile and reflect on the happy things that you should be thankful about your life! Stay happy!
It’s only him who knows what he meant by what he said. Guess, you could give him the benefit of the doubt, but if you ask me, try to distance yourself a little. Because if he understands that he hurts you, then it will give him time to recall what he did, or said that could have caused you to act that way to him. Be happy, and don’t let small things, trivial things get along the way. Smile, be cheerful and think that there are people who get captivated by that smile.. and I know, one day someday, that special someone that you have been waiting for will come and make you the happiest woman ever. So pause, smile and reflect on the happy things that you should be thankful about your life! Stay happy!
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Okay enough is enough this guy is beginning to be a real jerk to you and NO WAY do you deserve any of it.You are a very lovely,caring person and YOU are the one that deserves better and he ISNT good enough for you.You are doing so well for yourself with all the weight you have lost dont you dare let him make you feel bad about yourself.I agree you need to just totally quit talking to him and get on with your life.dont be giving him the benfit of doubt he dont deserve it.You hold your head up high and keep your self confedince going strong,dont be in such a hurry and your prince charming will find you when you least expect it.Take care of you first. Have a great night.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Yeah, maybe you are right. He is starting to be a real jerk. I'm beginning to think that he doesn't deserve a good woman like me and in all honesty, I hope one day he eats those words and DOES regret it someday!
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
21 Mar 09
well there are actully guys who wont flirt back, i know a few who wont specaily when they are working. i guess because they are scare of someone yelling sexaul hassmnet. myself i would flirt right back.
i wouldnt like worry about it too much.
2 people like this
@pinky_laces (77)
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
when someone i like shows no interest in me, i really dont talk to him nor say hi or hello unless he'll do the first move. like when he's the one to say hi and hello and start a conversation. and if he started a conversation an don the second time you tried to befriend with him, he dont show any interest, i dont talk to him anymore. or shall i say, i will never ever make a move to talk to him. so i wont get hurt... i wont care if he would tell me im mean... as long as i dont get hurt...
2 people like this
@lordblade (9)
• Canada
20 Mar 09
of coarse you are good enough for someone, i think you are too good for most people. yeah i have said things, and had things said to me that were takin the wrong way, especially in text messages. that happens all the time, its hard for us guys to convey the right meaning sometime. well that my opinion on it, ttyl.
hugs for people that just need to be better understood,
i wish i was mr fedex, but wrong province lol
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Yeah, seems all the guys who are interested in me aren't where they should be or they wind up being married. It's funny how married men will look at me and say, "If I wasn't married". Well, some of them don't care if they are married, but I'm not falling in that trap. Thus is life, I suppose.
1 person likes this
