Holy Crap. Am I the only one?

@laglen (19779)
United States
March 20, 2009 9:04pm CST
Am I the only mother that chose to raise my toddler instead if sending them off to nursery/ preschool? My daughter was reading and adding and subtracting in kinder garden. She was VERY well adjusted socially, and now at 15 is still doing great. Are there any other parents that didn't ship their kids off early?
6 people like this
11 responses
• United States
21 Mar 09
out of the 3 of us girls the youngest is the only one who went to daycare and she is also the child that ran off to get married at 17, divorced at 19 and remaried that same year. To add to this her children are in daycare and that is where her 6 month old got RSV and had to go to the hospital. (I am mostly upset because she does not have to work and she chooses to anyway) There is alot to be said about staying home with your kids (if you can afford to). It is the 5 years before they are supposed to be in school that they learn the foundation of everything, do you really want your kid hanging out with the kid that bites everyone he can get his mouth around? congradulations about your daughter, these can be the hardest years.
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
21 Mar 09
Hey, I wanted to commiserate with you a little. I am one of those who is very glad (and lucky) to be at home. I have a hard time understanding those who don't feel that way, but there are definitely some people who are not wired to be at home with kids. It has been documented that some people just NEED to have something else, whether it is adult company and conversation, goals and plans that are separate from family, whatever it is, and that isn't based on whether they need the job for the money. I actually know a number of people who work and they don't NEED to, but if they didn't, I think they would not only go crazy, they'd be a bad parent and a bad spouse lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
I hadn't thought of it like that. That is probably the situation. For me it would be to hard to make that choice, but I don't NEED the time with other people.
1 person likes this
21 Mar 09
I haven't got my own kids yet, but when I was younger I was sent to preschool for a few hours a day. I could read when I was 3 years old, before I went to preschool, and write a little, so I was already an advanced kid, but I think they wanted me to integrate with other kids. (maybe they were worried because i was a "serious" baby) Having said that, maybe it would have been nice to have had a year or two extra to bond with my parents? And I don't think that not sending a child to nursery would have an impact on them in the long-term. I think when you are young you adjust quickly. If they have a supportive home environment, it would probably help them to become more confident people for when they got to kindergarten (I think that's what they call it in the us? ).
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
21 Mar 09
We did mommy and me classes once a week and then very limited preschool - twice a week for 2 1/2 hours for the last year. As far as the reason, it was mostly social, unless I constantly go visit other moms and kids or have them at my house, there would have been no way for her to have that classroom/teacher/friends/schedule environment duplicated. I will tell you though, it's very structured. I would never use daycare or whole-day preschool. I am home with my daughter, so what would be the point, on top of the expense? I went to La Petite to find out about their preschool program and this is what they told me - they are open from 6 am to 6 pm. Most parents use the whole day... or maybe half day which is 6 or 7 am till noonish. My daughter was almost 2 when I went in to inquire about their program, I told them I was only considering 2 hours or so... maybe 4 at the longest, and not more than 2-3 days a week. Turns out they charge almost the same amount whether your child is there 4 hours a day or 12... and it's also no cheaper to have them there 2 days a week than it is to have them there all 5. As a result, I have always used the community center in town for mommy and me, other social things like holiday events and tot sports, and preschool. They don't press you to have your child at their center for 385768 hours a week and they also are much more reasonable in cost.
1 person likes this
@seabeauty (1480)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I have three kids and the only one to go to preschool was my oldest. Of course that was when we had the money. When the 2nd and third child came along, my ex and I couldn't afford to send them. I have no regrets about keeping the younger two home. Still I would have liked to have had the money to send them. Preschool is only 3 hours at most. Now daycare is a totally different story. The kids are there most of the day because the parents are both working. The bad thing about not sending your child early is that by the time they go to Kindergarten, they are not up to speed with the rest of the children. The ones that go to preschool already know the letter and numbers and even how to write their names before they get to Kindergarten.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
I have been a full time mom since my 5 yr old son was born and now I have a 1 yr old daughter as well... I have been home with them every day and my son is now in kindergarten and doing well. I didnt send mine to any nursery or preK... most of them are very expensive and it would have cost us more to send them off than I could have made working so I stayed home with them and I am happy with my decision to do so.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
I am a stay at home mother but dont really feel I get that connection when talking among mothers. I think some might even think its strange my kids are not in preschool by now. I have a 2 1/2 and 4 year old and I really think they are very exuberant kids and that was one of my very concerns about enrolling them into pre-k. I feel like many children know a bit too much and I want my kids to grow up like normal children. I take them to museums, art galleries take them outside to get dirty (catching sow bugs other day). Thankfully, I live in a college town and theres always something to do. I like exposing my kids to the campus life because its right there and fun. The other day we hung out on the sides watching two teams of college students playing volleyball and they played in the sand. i like to take them to little pizza shops or for sushi or panera bread and the college girls always give them alot of attention which for my recluse self is important because i want them growing up knowing its ok to want to make friends. Seems like theres a lack of trust that can be so prevalent. Theres so many benefits to raising your kids without the preschool but we do regularly go to the YMCA and I kind of view that as there preschool so they are not secluded from other children their age and my daughter just enrolled in a childrens theatre class. But id have to agree that some may not be as qualified because i dont see sitting children in front of tv all day as useful which often happens with babysitting (some kids are babysat for a large portion of the day if not all).
• United States
21 Mar 09
i dont want to exclude those single mothers out there who do not have the luxury of being at home or even fathers but i just meant i think its important for children to have some real consistent quality time with their children. My father was PTA and did make that effort and I think that is what made it so important for me now as a mother.
• United States
22 Mar 09
I think preschool is very helpful for the child, and they enjoy it. All my friends that had kids put theirs through Pre-K. I went to Head Start when I was little. I enjoyed it, and I didn't feel that my mother wasn't raising me by letting me go.
@suzzy3 (8352)
21 Mar 09
My son went to pre school but I went with him and worked their ,I can honestly say that I never left him.Apart from the odd weekend away with my husband and the odd night out.like you I was there all the time for him he is doing extremely well at school has lots of friends he is a bit of a teenager like they all are.on the whole he is a well adjusted human being planning his Alevels .Don't you listen to those people who say it is good for them to be shipped off early,I wanted to bring him up myself with my husband making the choices we thought was best,he still gets a good telling off if he needs it.I am very pleased to meet someone like me who gladly takes on the responsibilty of your own child it is worth all the hard work well done to you.It just goes to show that all these experts don't really know it all.mother still knows best.xx
• Romania
21 Mar 09
i admire that, there`s an old thing .. "the 7 years from home" .. basically that says taht the kid shoudl be home before going to kindergarden and learn the basics.. respect, love, etc
21 Mar 09
That is very harsh. My eldest didn't go to nursery. My middle one didn't go to nursery. But my youngest I started her at three. By the time she was four I had built it up to three days a week. For my sanity and her safety I had to put that bit of distance between us. We have a major personality clash and have done since she started developing her own thoughts. Her dad says she is just a mini version of me and thats probably why we clash. Knowing that we have that break from each other is enough to keep us both sane. She is learning more being at nursery than she would ever learn from me. I think it is a decision every parent has to make for themselves. For some it is better to keep them at home, for others nursery is the better option. I love all my children equally. And there is no favourtism at all. Some people have to return to work and have no choice financially. I think your post may well make some people feel bad and that their decision might not have been the right one.
• Canada
21 Mar 09
Hello :) I sent 2 of my kids to pre-school and I kept one home with me. For my eldest, it was more because it was the "thing" to do...and I was very young so I went along with it. my next child was in daycare while I went to University, and I worked with her when she wasn't. BOTH are doing equally as good in school. My 3rd child went to 2 years of Pre-school starting when he was just 2 1/2. He was extremely bright and used to cry and cry when his brother and sister would leave for school, he would get his shoes on and run out the door after them when they went to school, and when I would get him back to the house he would cry and cry for hours. When I got him into preschool he was the happiest child around to be able to go to school too! and because the first year was only 2 hours 2 times a week he would still cry on the days he didn't get to go. The next year it was 3 days a week and still he would cry to go to school on the 2 days he didn't get to go. He started Kindergarten when he was 4 and was so sad that it was just half days, and this year he is in grade 1 and is so excited to go all day, I think he just has academics in his blood, as he loves learning and school. This all brings me to my baby, he is 3 years old, and is more than happy to be with me in the home daycare that I am a partner in running. I know that I am pretty sure he will just stay with me right up until it is his time to go to kidergarten, and that is all good. He is in no apparent hurry to get anywhere and loves spending time with the kids, me and then his siblings after school and evenings. I think it just depends on whether you are doing it because everyone else is doing it, or if you are doing it because really you can see a need for doing so. I don't think it give any advantage over all, other that getting them used to how a classroom works, but in my experience that is what kindergarten is for.