is it unfair in a marriage to ask, "can i afford a baby?"
By Ritchelle
@Ritchelle (3790)
Philippines
March 22, 2009 4:26am CST
what do you think? it's like asking yourself whether you can raise and have a right to have a family all would-be members in it would be proud of. nothing personal, just an inquiry that i think is seldom discussed for the directness of it. happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
6 responses
@benny128 (3615)
•
22 Mar 09
no it should always be asked, can I afford a baby,
I am a single dad, and it didnt become a parent till I was 29 and in a financial position to do so.
I see parents at the school where the kids come in scruffy and tatty as they cant afford to look after their kids, I also see area's in my city where the kids are well effectively living in so called 3rd world conditions.
I aint saying the parents are bad but what I honestly think is that you have got to be financially secure to start a family, as what we do now as parents will influence the kids for a life time to come.
Hope this makes sense.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
22 Mar 09
i honestly agree with you. kudos to you and your child. she's lucky to have you as a father.
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
22 Mar 09
I think if more people asked themselves this then there would be less unwanted and neglected children in the world.
You wouldn't buy a dog if you couldn't afford to feed it or exercise it. So what is the difference with children!
If people thought more then at least people would be prepared!
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
22 Mar 09
you're right. makes you think people should be issued a license to be a parent. to those who don't have a license but have children, send them to jail! just kidding. but you're right on a lot of points. thanks. happy mylotting!
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I think that asking yourself if you can afford it is the SMART thing to do..especially these days the way the economy is...raising children IS NOT cheap by any means and if a person or couple can really afford to do it then IMO they have no biz bringing kids into the world at that point in time.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31042)
• United Kingdom
22 Mar 09
I think that for a couple to be compatible they must discuss their hopes for the future. Only then should they get married and asking if the other one thinks they could afford to have a baby is important. If it is not the couple might work for two years saving up then the lady might attempt to get pregnant. A pregnancy can be a surprise for a couple that are careful and use protection. There are costs for all the baby equipment needed like a cot, a pram, clothing and nappies. If both the husband and the wife works the lady will need to go on maternity leave. Once the baby is born either the lady gets the baby cared for by someone else like a child minder or she gives up for job and stays at home.
@SangsTurks (1444)
• India
22 Mar 09
i have never thought of it but now that you mentioned it my mind started to tick!! Well, i dont think it as unfair, infact i consider it very thoughtful. it is nice to know when you can actually afford to have a baby. it is very essential for the future of the child. if our finances are in good shape we dont need to bother about it but when the finances are shakey, why bring in the child and not give him or her what they deserve best! A very nice and thoughtful question my friend.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
thank you also. i'm always fascinated with different cultures. i believe that each culture has something different and very special that other cultures can learn from. the question i posted above is one is something i've always heard from americans. actually, if you come to think of it, it ain't bad. planning the no. of children would serve everyone fairly: the child who would be given the proper guidance and discipline and security that most of what he needs would be given, the mother who still have time for growth even if she commits herself to the home and the husband who wouldn't lose his entire life working for his kids. the couple may be able to save some for retirement and thus not depend on their child for any financial support when they grow old.
@luvmysons (497)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Me and my husband asked that question before we had our kids.. I think everyone should ask themselves if they could afford babies before they have them.. Babies are expensive. Why bring innocent babies into this world when you cant afford them. Obviously babies are not always planned but when you do plan for them you want to give them the best life.
