Have you understood your life partner completely?

By Bala
@balasri (26537)
India
March 23, 2009 3:59am CST
Do you think that you know everything about her him/her?
6 people like this
29 responses
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
23 Mar 09
I feel, its not possible to understand any person totally. Human mind is as enigmatic as it's apprarently simple. The likings, the power to think, reason out, the choices, priorities - all are but changeable. And its impossible to know what's going on inside someone's mind at that period of time. Even when a couple think that they know each other very well, there is always that 0.000001% that needs to explored or that keeps changing. So, never be too sure dear.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
23 Mar 09
I know that each person is an island and a separate entity. A human mind is so complex that one cannot be sure that he has understood himself completely. When a man comes out and proclaims that he has found the way to know one's inner self he becomes the instant Swamiji with thousands of restless minds expecting some miracle from him. So the best possible thing is to pull on without damaging the existing peace and harmony in life .Trying to understand a human mind completely whether it is your own or your wife is a futility.
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@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
23 Mar 09
Oh yes and i am surprised to look that those (most) tricksters who take advantage of this. Its indeed a futile endeavor to try to know anyone and when it comes to partners things are little better. I have observed that couples living together for more 30-40 years tend to develop the same facial expressions, same accents and same way of thinking! they can mime each other most dexterously and even before one think it the other say it aloud. these are ofcourse matches made in heaven!
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@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Apr 09
That is a point I always discuss with my wife Mimpi.We always talk about the people who think ,talk and express the same and using the same style and words too.Is it a bliss or curse of losing one's own identity?
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@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
I think I know much about my partner being a partner and a wife of eight years. But there is no such thing as completely knowing someone. There is always something that we do not know. Marriage is a continues process of adjustment and understanding. We grow, we change, but the important thing is to understand. As long as you accept each other faults and failures, then there won't be a problem. I am more difficult to understand, and I think my wife have adjusted so much for me. For that I thank her and for that I love her more. This is what matters most.
@balasri (26537)
• India
7 Apr 09
I can see that each and every word you have written has come out of a great experience.I just enjoyed reading it.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
12 Apr 09
I understand my husband more than he understands himself (if that is possible...or he's pretending not to) See, I usually analyze why a person behaves a particular way.....especially since normal people are a mix of negative and positive traits. If I understand WHY they behave the way they do, it's easier for me to anticipate and react accordingly (not always successful on that front....because I sometimes react before I think). So, I do understand my husband completely (though I might not agree with him on everything).
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@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Apr 09
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Apr 09
Now, that doesn't sound good for me, lol Someone's playing me at my own game:P
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
16 Apr 09
I think I have understood my husband reasonably well but I cannot understand the reason for his being offcolor, on a particular day. .Actually it really does not matter becasue the moment I see his face I would know that he is not in a very lighthearted frame of mind [for whatever reason]and I just see that there is no controversial topic or so.[of any sort--so much so that one day my son gave me a big compliment that I have very strong antennae to sense something is going on with in a person immediately, though I cannot always predict this 'something'.]. But as Sreekala had beautifully written when there is love and trust between us then that little bit of mystery too is not relevant, and I think like how wmen have umpteen thoughts flitting in and out of their minds , men are also entitled to theirs.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Apr 09
I just cannot differ with your son's remark of the strong antenna.Must be a smart guy. And I have seen and responded to your comment in Mimpi's library discussion.Thanks.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
16 Apr 09
Thank you Bala for those nice words and there is of course no doubt about the fact that he is a smart guy .Not a usual mother's remark[if you have heard of the famous quotation'There is one perfect child on the earth and every mother has it', but his achievements [God's grace] are proof of it. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1966260.aspx--I have mentioned his in this discussion.Mine is a long one ;you can skip it and will have to scroll down to see his.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
16 Apr 09
Bala I have left a comment for you in Mimpi's library discussion.
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@Sreekala (34314)
• India
28 Mar 09
Trust is the base of a successful family/married life. Once we lost the trust we can’t regain it in our whole life. Regarding understanding of partner, it is very difficult to understand human beings. I think human beings are the only living beings we can never understand completely; nobody can predict when they will change their mind/attitude. But in case of family relations we can’t judge it like that; we should keep trust and love towards our partner for a happy life. So I trust my partner and he trusts me too.
@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Mar 09
Every thing is always going to be fine in your life Kala as you know what you are doing.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
17 Apr 09
My pleasure.
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@Sreekala (34314)
• India
8 Apr 09
Thank you so much for the BR.
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@ktosea (2025)
• China
23 Mar 09
of course not,but I know most things about her,I usually know what she is thinking about.we can not know everthing about others even it's you g/f or b/f unless you grown up together,studied together
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@alokn99 (5717)
• India
23 Mar 09
Bala, on the lighter side, Have men ever really understood women ?
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
23 Mar 09
On the serious side Bala. I don't think people get to know everything about thier partners. After the human mind is so complex,whether it be man or woman, there will always be something more to learn about.And the learning too makes life interesting.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
24 Mar 09
That is very true.Learning anything at any age is always interesting.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
23 Mar 09
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing,' and how I can make a woman truly happy." After a few minutes God said, "You want two or four lanes on that bridge?"
3 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
26 Mar 09
I have a very close friend and although I know an awful lot about him after several years, there is still an air of mystery there. That's the way I like it though. It can get frustrating at times, but without it, life would be boring! Brightest Blessings my friend.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
26 Mar 09
Right friend.There should be something left to our imagination always.
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@Darkwing (21583)
26 Mar 09
Yes, lol, it kind of keeps you coming back until you find out the mysteries!
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@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
25 Mar 09
Hi balasri, I know my life partner very well but I couldn’t understand him completely. I pick him as my life partner for I trust him and I believe he could take good care of me and the family as well. We could share most of our feelings and ideas on most of the things but not all. The most important thing is that we could get along together happily and harmoniously. I don’t think I have to know everything about him. Everyone, including our spouse has his own right to keep his privacy and to have his own time to do his favorite hobbies. Why we have to take the trouble to know everything, like the past and even what he thinking all the time. I believe this is including in the “have understood” mentioned as well. I bet no one would understand one's spouse completely unless one could read someone's mind Happy posting
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@balasri (26537)
• India
26 Mar 09
Well I can understand what you are trying to say with your experience Ikbooi. I like the way you have written that you were able to know your partner but could not understand him. Very thoughtful of you. Yes as you mentions each and every person is an island and it is utterly a waste of time and pain to try to understand him/her completely. As long as the life goes peacefully and happily and as long as the wife and husband know their particular parts and responsibilities in the married life everything is fine and bliss.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Apr 09
my dear lkbooi, This is the thing which i like you the most always. I still keep on reading your every comments and i am always happy and satisfied with your saying.I can never say a "no" inside my mind, reading any of your comment.Always i can see positive and highly matured comments. You always deserve that 10 star rating. Happy Posting!
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@eshaan (6188)
• India
11 Apr 09
when you live with someone for so long, you understand that person very well, and u also know how he is actually, how much you can trust him/her and whether or not he/she can do anything wrong behind you, coz though the man keeps his outer life too much secret but you understand that what kind of person he/she is...i disagree with the response you have rated as Best Response here....but anyway...maybe some people are very good actors and as the the responder is saying...maybe she is not able to understand her life partner.... ....now what is important in my view is that when you understand the person fully, the main tihng is how u can cope with his/her drawbacks and how u can make your life happy with each other...so in that way...we both have understood and also able to accept each other's drawbacks, and living together happily for 11 years...i think this is more important and key to successful married life...
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@balasri (26537)
• India
12 Apr 09
The things are not happening the way they are supposed to be in many people's life.The responses here are may be the reflections of their personal life. The ones who really understand each other and lead a peaceful and happy life are really blessed.And I wish you a very very happy , wonderful and successful married life.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
13 Apr 09
I've been married 20 years now, bala, and I feel like I still learn new things about my husband on a regular basis. Seems normal to me, as we are forever growing and changing as humans. It might make me uncomfortable if I felt I knew all things about him, as if one or both of us had stopped 'trying'.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Apr 09
Right.The charm is gone as there is no mystery element left.
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@lynnchua (3412)
• Singapore
24 Mar 09
No, I don't and I don't think that there is anyone who can understand their life partner completely. It is really impossible.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
24 Mar 09
Why is it so difficult Lynnchua?
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@lynnchua (3412)
• Singapore
25 Mar 09
Maybe I'm someone blur and I find it difficult for me to really understand someone and I'm also trying not to understand too much of them.
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@Dasari100 (3791)
• Anantapur, India
7 Apr 09
I didn't commit any partner still now because i am single so i don't want to be stick on with for physical attraction but we need to have the awareness to understand the people what they are really expecting from us?
@balasri (26537)
• India
7 Apr 09
Fine Dasari.Could you please start using the full stops too.It will be easier for me to communicate with you after understanding.Please.
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@parthu28 (498)
• India
18 Apr 09
i think that is not possible ......it is really difficult to understand a person completely......i am in my relationship with my life partner for the past 5 years........but till date i am not able to understand the person .......it doesnt mean that you arent happy or anything.i am perfectly happy but i just sometimes am surprised by the way the person behaves......
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@balasri (26537)
• India
18 Apr 09
I would have been surprised if it is the other way.I think that what you cace is the very normal thing.
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• India
23 Mar 09
Till this day.. I can not understand or estimate what is the "I" in me, and i am still to recognize my full potentials, and about my spouse.. Hmmm.. not even a percent i have understood her, and so is she.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
24 Mar 09
I think that it itself is a bliss as you are very normal like all of us. Understanding the self and the spouse too, sounds so outlandish.Isn't it?
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@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
24 Mar 09
I've been with my husband for 30 years, so I think I know him pretty well. However, we can never know what's in someone's mind - which is a good thing! Everyone needs SOME secrets!
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@balasri (26537)
• India
24 Mar 09
You said it right.
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@crazydaisy (3896)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
I never understand my partner .. cd
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@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Apr 09
Who else does dear?
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@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Hi balasri! I'm thinking I probably don't know everything but I know what I need too. At least for now. I think as time goes on we all learn things about ourself and our partner. I think it's what makes it a journey together. Learning about one another. We also change over time and so I think it would be hard to know everything and sometimes we may not want to know some thoughts. Most of them are only momentary anyway.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Mar 09
Yes it is a very hard and complicated task Jen this understanding.
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@ank_47 (1959)
• India
29 Mar 09
no,i can't understand my husband sometimes, he will be thinking of something and when i ask ,he will tell ,nothing is there. and sometimes he hides something to me. he know all my feelings and behaviour.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
29 Mar 09
Sounds so interesting friend.
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@krupesh (2608)
• India
23 Mar 09
Of course yes , I do know almost all maybe 99% as we have been married for 8 years now.Just because I have understood her I do the things she really wants from me.Thats why we are happy.I think she hasn't understood me at all(hahahaha).She has a long way to go in understanding me.But that doesn't mean that I cheat her or something like that but if she can understand me properly she can always know my likes & dislikes & act accordingly which might make me even more happier.
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@balasri (26537)
• India
24 Mar 09
Nice to know that.My blessing to both of you.
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