Me too, Me too
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
United States
March 23, 2009 1:50pm CST
Have you been around the "joiners"? You know these people, they are the ones that shout "Me too, Me too" each time a new idea, new fad, new group, or new belief comes around. It seems that these types are not quite sure of their own personal beliefs or views that they must join the crowd in order to gain some form of self.
Recently I had read about a person who had claimed to be one thing for some time, and then claimed to be the same thing and have no knowledge of it in another group. Simply put, the person said what was needed for one group, and for the other group in order to feel a part of both groups. Mind boggling isn't it?
Joiners is not a term I made up myself, so I do not take credit for it. It was a term I heard years ago on another forum when speaking about those types of people who move from one mystical group to the next, never staying long enough to learn anything in set mystical order.
It's just sad though that these types seem to make very little headway because they are becoming anything for those they are around. I tend to handle these types of people by asking questions. I tend to lean toward Socratic Methodology and that seems to work for getting these people to critically think about their decisions and their own thoughts. It doesn't mean I say they are wrong or right, but I do question them especially when I witness them stating two very different answers for the same question.
Have you had to deal with the "joiners"? How do you handle this type of person? Do you have friends/family members that are this way? How do you deal with them? What is your advise to these types of people and to those who deal with them? Do you think that the "joiner" attitude has its merit? If so, what would it be?
5 people like this
11 responses
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
24 Mar 09
Being an introvert, I have never actually felt comfortable in any group and so there’s no question of me ever being the ‘me too’ type. But I know the people you are talking about…I have seen enough of them around me…they are a big irritant, capable of making any discussion boring in a second.
However, I don’t think they are unsure of themselves, rather they are quite clever and street-smart…they know exactly how to bend where and merge in to extract the maximum benefit. Personally, they are completely planned out as to how they would deal with a situation, only in groups they are always nodding their heads so as to fit in and get benefited.
3 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
That's kind of sad isn't it. Thanks for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@Awen_Eldorath (107)
• United States
30 Mar 09
It seems to me that there is a differance between adapting to whatever situation one finds oneself in, following the path of least resistance to the benefit of all involved and intentionally being outright deceptive, pretending to be interested or actively involved in something that one actually holds little or no genuine interest or involvement in. It is the latter that are the fakes, the phonies, the joiners.
You do make a very good point though, that some of these people definately are clever enough to manipulate things to their advantage, and these sorts of con artists are even more dangerous than the joiners because they're clever enough to persuade others to follow them. The joiners might be able to talke a good talk for a while, but sooner or later they'll slip up because they don't genuinely apprehend or have an intimate understanding of the subject. The con artists, on the other hand, are smart enough to comprehend and relay information on the subject in a much more convincing and persuasive manner, which could result in people being intentionally mislead and manipulated in ways that benefit the con artist but are detrimental or harmful to their victims.
1 person likes this
@Aquilis (175)
•
24 Mar 09
I think people very quickly burn themselves out through acting like this, if you keep bouncing around so much you loose tract of everything and just end up tired trying to work out what you are supposed to be doing next. I've actually seen it lead to a couple of breakdowns before when they got so stressed out trying to keep up with the 'next thing' to join. So yea, definatly not a good behaviour pattern to have.
3 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
That's a good point. Thank you for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
These are the people who comprise the "bandwagon" - just because something pleases the others, they just have to jump right in to take a bite for themselves. Fortunately, none of my close friends are joiners :) I'm blessed to have friends who would actually say no to a night out just because they don't like the activity.
Thanks for the response on my discussion!
3 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
You are definately blessed with this. Thank you for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
23 Mar 09
Hi Anora... I happen to work with one of them. I didn't know there was a specific phrase to put these people in a group. I always referred to them as windy people - they put their fingers up to the wind and see which way it's blowing today. Sometimes when this new idea, new fad, new group, etc. comes up in conversation this person has long been a part of said group, known about said fad, known about said idea. How do I deal with the person? I ignore them as much as I possibly can. I don't have a good stomach for hypocrites and I don't see why you can't stand on your own two feet and say "This is what I believe in"!
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I'd not heard that one "Windy People", that's a good term too. I think ignoring is good, but even I find it difficult at times to do. Thank you so much for sharing. Perhaps one day these people will learn to stand on their own two feet. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@jshekhar (1562)
• India
24 Mar 09
I would not classify myself out and out into the "joiner" category and neither am I the opposite of it.If I know about something from my friends then I do not simply do that just because my friends are also doing it. I would analyze what they are upto and would not do that until I am convinced that it suits me. I like to find my own ways and follow my own path. I may sound a big mouth but I am being honest. I like to think for myself.
Cheers!
3 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Well said, thanks for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@elly_biz (65)
• Indonesia
24 Mar 09
i do have some friends who will be included in "Joiners" term. He joins every new group just because there is a lot of people join that group too, he don't have personal beliefs, just want to get into the crowd. Sometimes i just ask him why he do that, and then ask about their views. i think he just want to get popular with that attributes
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I think a lot of people do it to fit in or be popular. Thanks for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
25 Mar 09
I have met a few of these people when I was more a member of society (as opposed to the recluse I am now).. I feel that they have very little maturity as they are usually young and are generally desperate to fit in, to belong. I think it's a little sad and when I would get the chance I would try and find something positive to say to this person in an effort to build their self esteem. It isn't nice to be on the outer and to feel excluded. I guess if a person aspires to belong to a certain group they will do and say whatever they think is right to be accepted...perhaps this is how society is and that's the actual way in to become a member of some groups.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
25 Mar 09
True. Since the formations of clans I suppose it has become a part of the human psyche. I like your thoughts on building their self-esteem. Thanks for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Mar 09
Never been a joiner, not for anything. I guess the merit is fitting in. That is extremely important to some people.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I'm not sure I want to "fit in" with certain ideologies I guess, so I've never been one to change my own standards just for the sake of the group I'm around. Thanks for sharing. Namaste-Anora
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
25 Mar 09
One word for them! Frustrating and annoying.
No matter what you will be talking about, they will come and say, I have done this too. The only way to handle them is by asking certain questions about the task or thing and let him answer. If the answer is correct then he is write.
I can remember when I used to play video game in a parlor then we people had a group which were running for records, you know time and score. Unfortunately then there was no option of saving games. So, when ever I used to make a record and let them know, one of the chirpy guy used to say that I have scored more than you! Annoying, very very annoying.
2 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Thanks for responding. Yes, very annoying indeed. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@elmolovesu (814)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Hi Anora.
Thank you for bringing this up. I wasn't aware of what they are called til now. I have been with some parents who seem to sway from one end to another depending on where the wind blows. It's kinda funny because they actually use those exact words, "me too". I try to ignore it most of the time just to be polite and so as not to offend them. But I have to admit,there had been occasions when I engaged and tried to see how far they can keep up with it. It was very naughty of me to do that.
Again, many thanks. Take care.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Thanks for responding. I think we all have those moments where we keep debating with another that in a sense creates the game of "wits" lol. (I simply love that scene in The Princess Bride). Take care. Namaste-Anora
@Awen_Eldorath (107)
• United States
24 Mar 09
These types of people seem interested in impressing others and perhaps even themselves by associating with differant "fads" from time to time, never staying with one or another for very long. These people don't spend enough time honestly evaluating themselves in order to get anything useful out of any of the groups they claim to have joined only to blow away in the wind the minute the novelty wears thin. I can see absolutely no merit or redeeming qualities to this attitude, with the possible exception that maybe after years of failed beginings, it might eventually get through that some genuine introspection is necessary. However, it seems counter productive at best to endure years of this in the hopes that dumb luck might prevail by providing genuine, constructive results.
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Very well stated. I think that we do need to spend more time in self-reflection in order to find out motives for doing things in life. Perhaps that is where journaling regularly can truly prove effective. Thanks for responding. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@Awen_Eldorath (107)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Journaling does seem to help cultivate observing one's thoughts, ideas, etc. in an objective manner that is conducive to critical thought and introspection. Meditation and other spiritual practices also seems to be beneficial to this end.
1 person likes this
