Does your significant other point out your flaws?

United States
March 23, 2009 3:26pm CST
Lately my boyfriend has pointed out a few of my flaws & sometimes I'm okay with it, other times it hurts. He's pointed out a couple physical flaws (i.e a wart, a pimple, etc) directly and sometimes indirectly (i.e "You're putting *that* much Ranch dressing on your salad?")There are few things that I'm really self-conscious about, one being my weight so that one hurt. Does your significant other do this to you? How would you feel? How would you handle it?
7 people like this
23 responses
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
23 Mar 09
No, my b/f doesn't point out my flaws and I am glad he doesn't.If he did I am not sure what I would feel. Probably I would have hurt feelings. The only one who did that was my ex-husband,he isn't my ex-husband because of his winding flaws with me.
1 person likes this
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
23 Mar 09
First reaction would be to react and not in a positive way.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Mar 09
Most of us do not notice our flaws and hate admitting to it. If someone you care about brings them up in a nice way, you should consider it. They are not trying to attack you, but give you some constructive criticism. In regards to women's weight, guys, do not ever say anything about your girl's weight, you just can't win. Instead, Tell them you want to work out together as a couple and spend that quality time!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
yes he did. as always as he could. every time he notices that something is a bit wrong with me especially regarding physical appearances and when i say words wrongly he always corrects me. i do understand his point that he just wanted to correct me so that i would know my mistakes and learn from it and never do them again. and it was really fine with me. but sometimes it really hurts. especially when he does that "correcting my flaws" attitude of him in front of other people, sometimes in front of our friends. because every time he does, i feel like crying and i was silent since then. anyway happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@bubbletush (1332)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
My husband do point out my flaws. Of course, it does not always feel good but I am thankful that he is honest to me. I know he does it because he wants me to be a better person.
1 person likes this
• China
24 Mar 09
if my friend point out my flaw,i wii happy thet the god give me a best friend..althought sometime it was hurt my heart,but i think my friends thouht for me.eveybiby have flaws,if someone can tell you what your flaws,you will changes them it is so lucky.
1 person likes this
@blion23 (403)
• United States
23 Mar 09
Yes, my wife sometimes does comment on my flaws. However, we have done it so much over the years that it has become the best way to start a conversation and make a joke to each other. As a relationship blooms, so does the ability to make fun of each other and realize the flaws that both of you encompass. However, if his comments are making you uncomfortable, talk to him about it in private and ask him to change.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 09
hi jellberlee My husband was one person in a million, he loved me unconditionally. I tried to be different as I wanted him to be really proud of me I even bleached my hair blonde. you know what, he almost spanked me, he liked me just as I was, odd ashy blond hair, hippy figure and all, he told me put your pretty hair back to the color it was,I married you because you were real and dont change, be yourself. So he never pointed out my flaws except to tell me to be more self confident. his mantra for me waS this I am unique, I like myself, I am Patsie Hatley, I love myself. and he said, yell it , mean it and believe it. that did help my self confidence a lot. not that I was ever really outgoing but I learned I am somebody, I am unique. I am proud to be me.
• Norway
23 Mar 09
Well, yes. Actually, he's making fun of my physical flaws. But im used to it because I already accepted whatever flaws I have. I would also, do the same to him. So making fun of our flaws is just one of our normal ways of having a fun conversation.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47214)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Mar 09
Yes, there are times, when my fiance points out my flaws. It annoys me, but I know that he means well, when he points them out. Although it annoys me, I try not to make to much out of it, or get really mad at him, because like I said, I do know that he means well. And I also know that he'll only point it out, if I'm doing something that annoys him, or something like that.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
24 Mar 09
My significant other always does that to me makes me upset because I take what he says very seriously. He likes to point out what I do wrong like I should put this here and there. When I hae piples sometimes, he likes to tell me that... stuff like that. I'm not particularly happy about that :-(
@krupesh (2608)
• India
23 Mar 09
I am the one to always find flaws with my wife & hurt her.You should not think of it much as it would be told without any intention.It is said by none other than your close ones , so dont make it an issue or get hurt.
1 person likes this
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
23 Mar 09
Hi Jellberlee, Yes my husband does this to me sometimes. Most of the time he picks on me for being soo forgetful , and usually I joke around about it also . I do know what you mean though . Sometimes it can bother us , and thats when you need to tell him , "Thats Enough!" I've had to tell mine a couple of times ,"If you don't have anything nice to say , Don't say anything to me " that got him to stop real quick . Sometimes they think they are funny in what they say , but it bothers us .. You need to let him know how you feel about it .
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Mar 09
My hubby has done it but then I let him know that it really bothers me and he will feel bad about doing it and stop. Everyone has flaws. If everyone always pointed them out it would be hard to enjoy anything. If a specific person points them out then you would not enjoy being around that person. Maybe you should be honest about how you feel. Tell him it bothers you when he poinst out certain things. Sometimes me are not very smart about what is right to say and what is not. If you don't tell him he will keep doing it not realizing how you feel and it might hurt your relationship. This is what I think you should do but it is up to you. I hope this helps. Cheers;-)
23 Mar 09
Aawww! Well i've been with my boyfriend now just over a year and we are quite comfortable with what we say to each other... Today i was munching on crisps and he goes "stop eating you piggy" hahahaa I thought that was funny though because I was eating like a pig. I'm also self concious about my weight to =[ He points out spots on my face to! :O Today he was staring at it and made a funny face hahaha But he only did that for a joke, he doesnt really care when I have spots. When he does say stuff that I don't like....I actully slap him one on the back xD and may use my nails if he really pissed me off. Whoops
1 person likes this
@starangel (414)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Don't take it too personally unless he says something downright cruel. It sounds like he feels comfortable enough with you to just be able to talk to you about whatever. Come back at him and make light of what he says. If asks you about the ranch again just nonchalantly say "yep" or something sarcastic. my husband points out flaws and I come right back at him. If he decides he didn't like my comment, then he knows not to go there again. lol. it's just what couples do. You spend alot of time with each other and you end up talking about everything and anything. It just means you've passed the honeymoon stage and now you're in the real world together. It doesn't seem like he's trying to hurt you. If my husband does say something that I absolutely don't ever want to hear again, I let him know. If he feels close enough to you to say anything on his mind then he'll respect if there's certain things that make you feel uncomfortable. So, if the food comments really bother you, let him know. Watch how he reacts after you tell him...either he'll respect you and let you know he didn't mean anything by it, or he'll be a jerk about it and say you're overreacting and then keep doing it because he doesn't think it's a big deal. If that happens, you know what to do. lol.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Mar 09
If someone points out your physicall defects, it is not in good taste, he/she should know that God has made no body as a perfect human being and we should respect others, as they are. If someone points out my physical defects, I won't appreicate it.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
24 Mar 09
H[i]i Jell, we are both sports about it. We both exchanged harsh jokes but it's just up there, half truth and half tease...like my hubby will tease me of my belly since I am gaining weights and I will tease him of his age as old since he is older than me but at the end of it, we will just forget it...I am not that sensitive also... ANyway, in your situation, maybe it's ideal also to just ride his jokes![/i]
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
24 Mar 09
The next time he does it sweetly say, "Do you mean to be unkind or are you unaware of it"? I then would point out a few of his flaws. For example, a big nose or a reeceding chin or hairs in his nose. The he will understand how it feels to be criticised. and if he doesn;t think that there is anything wrong in taking away your personal self esteem then dump him. dump him fast. You deserve a better person to be your boy friend. someone who will look past the pimple on your face. Like it matters!!
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Hi Jellberlee...Thank goodness no he does not. I'm sure I have plenty of flaws but he truly loves me flaws and all! I think part of the problem these days is that many people believe the world of Hollywood where people should be perfect. It's just not so. I'm sure you are wonderful as you are and he is not perfect either!
@Archie0 (5651)
24 Mar 09
Well when i had a guy i do got some similar point out over my flaws. Like my dry skin, my over weight problmes. And i really hate it. Because i dont like anyone pointing out flaws which i already no it. i feel hurt and as if i am being made fool of.My ex always did that and also did it in very weird manner too by not meeting up making excuses and stuffs i could get it that its the problem with my looks and weight. but now i have taken so much control of myself that i find myself beautifull than before, but the bad luck for my ex is he s not into this relationship anymore, and i am happy with it..i am good to be single and even flaunt sometimes...lolzz. Actually life is beautifull being single without a MAN..