He Wants To Take My Daughter On His Honeymoon.....

United States
March 23, 2009 10:23pm CST
My daughter's father is planning on getting married in September. Tonight, he told me that him and his girlfriend got into an arguement because he wants to take our daughter on their honeymoon. I told him that you don't take kids on your honeymoon and plus it will be in September and she will be in school. He said that he just wants for them all to be able to go on a vacation and this will be the only time they can do that. Even with that being said, I don't think that I would be comfortable with her going on his honeymoon. Do you think the idea of taking an 8 year old on your honeymoon to be a little crazy? I would never take my kids on my honeymoon if I was getting married.
16 people like this
58 responses
24 Mar 09
Hi singlemommy, I don't think it a good idea at all, when you go on a honey it should really be the two of them as they can spend time together but with the child you can't and one thing I have to say is this, your ex girlfriend will resent your daughter for this so please tell him no, its not right. Tamara
3 people like this
@krissy32 (205)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Well said. Children do not belong on a honeymoon at all,period. What planet is this guy on? He will not get what he is expecting with a child in the same room, no woman would be comfortable being completely herself with a child around. I think he needs to hang this idea up as a harebrained stupid idea.
• United States
24 Mar 09
I don't think it's a good idea either. I mean, that's their time together. I understand where he's coming from, but still, it's not a good idea. They need that time together because it's a special time. My husband and I took a cross country trip from NC to CA. We took my step daughter to her mothers in CA to live and on the way back we had our honeymoon. If he's daughter had of stayed the whole honeymood I would not have enjoyed it at all. lol
3 people like this
@jalucia (1433)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I can definitely see why someone would NOT take their child on their honeymoon, especially if they didn't have to. Looks like you and the new wife are off to a good start cuz you actually agree on something early in the game. I am pretty sure that there will be other times when they can go on a vacay together, or at least spend some good times together. He must understand that the new wife wants her honeymoon to be about her and her new husband ... unless it has been a recurrent problem in their relationship having the child around. Other than this, he should just stop the madness and go on and enjoy his honeymoon .. otherwise his marriage is gonna be off to a bad start because of the arguing. And, good for you not going against the new wife just because you can.
3 people like this
@savypat (20245)
• United States
24 Mar 09
That is one trip the daughter doesn't need to take, maybe you can suggest a long week-end for them after they get back. If I were you or the new wife i wouldn't want your daughter on the honeymoon. It should tell you something good.Your daughter has a Dad who really cares. We have also been very lucky that way in my family the two divorced Dads really cared for their children and supported them though out their childhood. It's much better then my Dad saying to me and my brother, I have to make a choice between you kids and my new wife and I choose her. Ended that relationship between us.
@elly_biz (65)
• Indonesia
24 Mar 09
i think that is a really bad idea, everyone know what the couple do at the honeymoon, do you want your child watch it? Besides that, can your husband watch his new wife and the 8 years old children at the same time? And if his new wife don't like the child it just makes the honeymoon going bad.
2 people like this
• India
24 Mar 09
You’ve got your instincts right…don’t give in, I am never in support of taking out an 8yr old from school and sending her to a honeymoon, all in the name of VACATION! First of all, she would stick out like a sore thumb, pick up all the wrong impressions and the other lady…well, she’s entitled to a proper honeymoon if she wants one! I could have still understood if your daughter would be staying with them, you know…kind of getting to know each other…but this is not even that! I guess your ex is trying to save money and his conscience. Make it amply clear that if he wants to give his daughter a real vacation, then it has to be in her vacation time.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Honeymoons were initially taken for the couple to get to know each other and to have their first nights together for making love and such. But in todays world many have already done what would have been saved for the honeymoon. If the "honeymoon" is going to be more of a vacation then I see nothing wrong with a child going too. If the time spent there is going to be a honeymoon in the real sense with the couple wanting to spend time together all of the time doing what newlywoods do, then a child should not go.
2 people like this
@maximax8 (30060)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 09
Your daughter's father is being really silly. Schools don't like children going on vacation in term time. A honeymoon is meant to be a romantic time for a lady and a man not children. I think the idea of taking an 8 year old on honeymoon is really stupid. Your daughter would be made to feel odd because a honeymoon is for two people and three would be a crowd. I once went on vacation with my ex-boyfriend and his son. However for our valentine's break we went alone. A vacation can be for any number of people but not a honeymoon. Good luck.
2 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I do not think it is a good idea to take an 8 year old along with you on your honeymoon. They will be spending most of their time watching her, and not enough time with each other. I can see the girlfriend's point, especially when you said your ex said this will be the only time for a vacation. If he takes the child, this can cause resentment from the new wife. I know that my husband's sister's ex husband took their daughters with him on his honeymoon. I think the situation was a little different though. It was two girls, so they had each other to keep company, and they were teenagers, like 16 and 17, so they were more independent than your daughter, and were able to share a separate room together.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Mar 09
I think that is a terrible idea. Surely he can manage to get a few days or a weekend to take a vacation with his daughter that does not involve her losing days out of school? If I was the new wife I would be very upset to think he did not want to spend some "alone" time with me.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (51159)
• United States
24 Mar 09
His poor girlfriend! And poor daughter. I mean he may want to cram a honeymoon and vacation in one trip, but that isn't fair to his future wife, or really even to his daughter. His focus should be his new bride, and if it is on his new bride, then your daughter might feel left out. Plus, and I'm sure I'm probably in the minority, but it is a tad weird.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
24 Mar 09
he sounds like a nut & sooooo romantic. i don't blame his fiancee for being upset. i hope u aren't going to let her go. are u??
2 people like this
• Singapore
24 Mar 09
It is crazy indeed. Besides he mentioned vacation, so it isn't really a honeymoon anymore, I pity his wife. Cheers singlemommy.
2 people like this
@CMTS_87 (1340)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
That would be crazy. I think it is not proper to do that.
• Canada
24 Mar 09
If it's a "traditional honeymoon" as it sounds like his girlfriend wants, then it's not appropriate. However, if this is a "family vacation" as opposed to a honeymoon, then it's a fine idea. It's not, however, a good idea to take her out of school so early in the season. Wouldn't it be OK for them to go on their honeymoon alone, and take the girl on vacation nearby for a weekend, or something?
2 people like this
@darsa123 (36)
• United States
24 Mar 09
i wouldnt let her go! honeymoons are about alone time and making love, what does he want a kid there for?
1 person likes this
@krissy32 (205)
• United States
18 Apr 09
My thoughts exactly. He is not going to get anywhere romantically with a child in the same room, dumb idea that needs to be trashed like yesterday's garbage.
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
26 Mar 09
No I wouldnt, I dont think honeymoons are for the kids.There will be other times for him to take your daughter on a vaction,I really dont blame his girlfriend for getting upset I would too.You have a great night.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8352)
25 Mar 09
I would not either he has got to have some time with his new wife on his own tell him she can stay in the holidays,you will get into trouble if you take her out of school.also she will fall behind with her school work and it it not fare on her try that argument.A girl that age will have to go in their room not very romantic is he.xx
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I wouldn't want my kids to go on my honeymoon with me either, but it sounds like to him it is not a honeymoon but mearly a vacation. Plus didn't he already say he didn't want to marry her and wanted to get back with you or something like that? Personally I don't think he should be marrying this girl anyways, but who am I to say. Ok if I was the one he was marrying I wouldn't want to marry him knowing he said that other stuff to you before. And by wanting his daughter to go with him just says even more he is just looking to find a family and not really a wife to love. I would leave that up to him and his future wife. If they decide to take her, let her go. It's not your honeymoon he is interupting but his own. Plus what does your daughter think of it, does she want to go?
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4536)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Obviously, the girlfriend isn't to thrilled with the idea. I can picture a miserable time for all if your daughter does go, simply because of the way the grilfriend feels about it. She would likely be upset the whole time and your daughter would not have much fun at all. I understand his point of wanting to take her for a vacation, but I think that it would really be wise if he waited to take her with him on a real vacation rather than trying to combine the two. If everyone is agreeable. I don't think that taking kids on a hineymoon is bad at all. My "homeymoon" consisted of a family trip to the zoo. We wanted to celebrate not only our mariage, but our family. That is what the both of us wanted though, not just one of us. If he hadn't wanted to do something as a family, we would have hired a babysitter to go somewhere and be alone.
1 person likes this