Living in fear...
@scarletwitch12 (562)
Philippines
March 25, 2009 2:12am CST
My father had been diagnosed with diabetes. When the diagnosis was revealed to us we felt numb and fearful. My father had always been the strong man we all looked up to. All our lives, he was the one who always took care of us. He was the strong head of the family whom he never failed to provide for. I guess I was like most daughters who grew up believing that their fathers would always bounce back after everything has been thrown at them.
I went home and found out as much as I could about diabetes. We never knew anyone from the family who had diabetes so the diagnosis did come as a shock to us. I found out that although it is a manageable disease, it was also incurable. The most that we could do was make sure it didn't get worse. Thankfully, the disease came at a time when money was not as hard to us as it used to be in the past since my father would now require medications for the rest of his life.
I always worry whenever he had to go to the doctor for his regular check-ups. I kept thinking, what if they saw something else wrng with him, and what I would do if we had to lose him. It was like in a day, I was reduced to a helpless person who tremble everytime they had to go to the doctor. I began to live in fear.
Though I never made my fear known to my parents, I worry all my days. I cannot imagine a life without my parents.
It may seem irrational but I envy my siblings who never seem to worry as much as I do whenever they get tested. I guess no matter how old you get, you never get over the fear of losing a parent. I know I would never be able to handle that.
I guess I am reaching out to people like me who have ailing parents and those who fear losing a loved one...
2 people like this
9 responses
@kpendragon77 (417)
• United States
26 Mar 09
I can certainly understand where you are coming from honey. It is an awful feeling knowing that thisis in fact incurable and you can only really learn to live with it. But the fact is, it is treatable. It can be kept in check and maintained. I have known many people with diabetes that have lived full lives. There are always new technologies out there and new advances in medicine so you never know. Don't be so quick to grieve my dear or you will make yourself sick and I am pretty sure you don't want that. Live for those wonderful moments that can still be had.
Ya know I read somewhere in a medical journal that some people had that stomach bypass surgery I think it was and they miraculously no longer had diabetic problems again. You might want to look into that. It might help but then again it might not. I am not a professional. I can only tell you what I read.
Again, the most important thing is not to worry so much. By all means be free to worry but not to the extent that you live your life in fear. Fear is a mind killer my dear. Live for the now and just be there for him as he goes through this when you can. That is what he needs the most. I wish you the best of luck and you are in my prayers. *hugs*
Livy J
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I feel so much better. I guess you really appreciate mylotters cause a lot of them are so nice.
You are right, I am spoiling the great times we could still enjoy with my father with my irrational fear. What you say makes so much sense and I couldn't help but be thankful that you took the time to assure me that everything is going to be fine. It will never be the same again but we stuill have him and that makes all the difference in the world.
Thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
26 Mar 09
I have diabetes, well they call it borderline diabetes and that means that it can be controlled by a pill in the morning plus exercise and watching what you eat, but there is a bit of leeway in that I can cheat like on birthdays, etc. and get my sugar back down. The trouble is with diabetes that they tell you the worse that can happen. For instance, you will lose all feeling in your foot, you will suddenly go blind, your kidneys will fail, you cannot eat hardly anything, etc. and that makes one more scared then normal.
So I think that it is the scare tactics that make it sound worse and also it is that years ago, if you were diabetic, you could hardly eat anything. Now there are so many foods that one can eat, that it is not as bad as it used to be.
So does your father have to take insulin or is he on pills?
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Fortunately enough, he doesn't have to get insulin shots. He is on regular medications, however. It's true when you said that you get to be given the worst scenario whe one is diagnosed with diabetes and I guess that is one of the reasons I am scared out of my wits!
I guess we would just have to take extra care of Dad from now on.
Thanks for the thoughts! I appreciate it a lot!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
30 Mar 09
I have to take a pill every morning and the appointment before last my doctor said because of my kidneys, I will have to take this orange and white pill and also a baby aspirin and so I thought, "oh no! here it comes!" the next one is going to be stronger. And I notice that there are no refills listed so now I am worried, is he going to suggest a large dosage? I did hear that if one walks a lot then one can lower the risks and if one eats certain food it helps, but have you looked at the price of ground turkey recently?
It is over $5.00 a pound.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
26 Mar 09
I understand you fear b/c not only do I have it but so does my Mom. I have had it for about 13 years and still haven't had to start on medications...I control mine by how and what I eat. My Mom is probably closer to needing medications but I try to help her as much as I can.
Having diabetes isn't the end of the world but it does require different habits in your daily life.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
You are right. Now we do monitor what he eats and his condition has been continuously improving. The shock of finding one of your parents are sick really gets to me. I guess.
Thanks for the response.
@mgraham126 (156)
•
26 Mar 09
As long as your father takes all the medical advice he is given he will be okay diabetes is manageable
mgraham126
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
That is exactly what we want to focus on right now. To manage the diabetes so we could still have many years with him with us.
Thanks for responding!
@soffenr (18)
• China
27 Mar 09
Don't worry so much. Diabetes is common in the medical circle nowadays and is manageable in many ways.
People really grow up after experiencing pains. Facecd with the condition of your father, fear is unavoidable. But except for fear, maybe you coud also learn something.
Learn to cherish. Whether our parents are healthy or not or how long life they could live, they will leave us someday. Being able to with them is a kind of great happiness. Cherish the happiness you own now, which orphans never could savour and those've already lost.
Learn to shoulder. Realizing your loved dad is no longer the strong head who always bounces back, you should try to shoulder the responsiblity of taking care of him instead of mere fear. Make him feel your love and support.
Learn to be a real daughter, who has grown up!
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I will grow up! I will be that daughter he deserves in this very trying time.
It is sad that sometimes our parents have to go through this just so their children coudl appreciate them better! I have learned the hard way and will try to be a better daughter.
Thanks for the advise!
@phoenix79 (302)
• United States
26 Mar 09
My father has diabetes as well. He got very sick when he first came down with it. My father was a very big man and now he is about half that size. I do not know how the diabetes caused him to lose that much weight but now that his diabetes is under control he is not losing any more weight.
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I guess when you get the disease, your weight does go down drastically. My father
has never been a heavy guy but he does have a knack for sweets and smokes. Now he has been able to keep his weight stable and has been eating healthier too.
Thanks for sharing.
God bless!
@patgalca (18345)
• Orangeville, Ontario
25 Mar 09
Wow! I could have written this. My father was the same way. He was the strength of our family and a great role model. He knew how to save money, he knew when to draw the line. Everything in moderation was his motto. The man walked to work every day for 45 years! He only ate dessert if it was a special occasion, never drank more than two drinks. He felt if something was going to harm him he didn't need it. Both his sisters were terribly obese and developed diabetes, as did his brother, his father, some uncles. It was in the family but my father took good care of himself and didn't deserve to get it. I was devestated.
However, he was almost 80 years old when he got it. He had a very mild case in that he only had to take a pill. I decided then that if it was so prevalent in our family that I might get it, I would rather get it at 80 than 40 so I started cutting back on sugar and exercising regularly - not easy to do when I have fibromyalgia. But now, last year, at the age of 45, I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia - a precursor to diabetes. So, yeah I am afraid. I'm also not as strong as my dad and can't give up all those sugars. I have such a sweet tooth. But I also have Irritable Bowel Syndrome so I have trouble finding things to eat pretty much all the time.
My doctor told me I was made up of two people - my father and my mother. The odds of me getting diabetes are significantly lower than they were for my father where the disease was rampant in his family. It did cut my father's life short too. We just didn't expect him to die quite that soon (3 years ago at the age of 82). I will just continue to do my best to ward off this illness. I test my blood semi-regularly and seem to have my blood sugar under control with diet.
My mother is now 84. Her mother lived to the ripe old age of 98 and her sister will be 96 this month. I think it is safe to say she will be around for at least another 10 years.
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I hope your mom is around for many more years! I also wish you the best in dealing with your health issues. I have a sweet tooth myself and my parents think I am incorrigible when it comes to unhealthy eating. LOL!
I guess it just hurts more when your parents are experiencing the illness.
Thanks for sharing.
I wish you the best of luck.
God bless.
@irafebrie (22)
• Indonesia
25 Mar 09
I can understand what you've been through. My mother has diagnosed with diabetes too, and it's about 15 years now and she still okay now. She managed the food she's eating and stay in a stable condition. I think we should not living in fear like that. All people will die at last, even if it come I don't know how I feel too but right now, I just give all my best love and care to them (my parents) while they're still alive and not fear too much. You know, my father just diagnosed with hepatitis B, so I just pray for them and keep giving them my best love. I hope it helps you, God bless.
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Your advise really helps.
Thank you for sharing. It is hard when the parents who cared for us now needs us to take care of them. I do not shun away from the responsibility, I am just scared of losing either of them.
Thanks again!
God bless you!
@med889 (5941)
•
25 Mar 09
I can understand you are going through hard time it is almost too unexpected to believe that your own will be going and you are helpless. But time is the best healer. I know my words are not so conforting but I can always pray for you. And I will. Be brave. We are 4 sisters and when something happen to our parents we are sometimes vulnerable. Then as being the smallest the elders always take care of me.
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Thanks. What you said is very comforting. We still have him and with care, we can still have him for a long time. Thank you for the prayers. You are lucky to have older sisters who would take care of you. I am the eldest child so I am supposed to be the strongest.
Thank you for the response.