Calling your significant other

United States
March 29, 2009 1:28am CST
Do you think that I am being wrong for being a little sensitive about the guy I am seeing NOT calling me? I love it that we talk to each other every day, but it is me who calls him, and not the other way around, most of the time. Even when he says that he will call me, he doesn't and I tell myself that I won't call him, but I find myself calling anyway, since I enjoy talking to him. My daughter tells me it is just a guy thing. I will say something about whether he was going to call, and he is always "so busy" or he fell asleep. It just makes me wonder if he really wants to be bothered talking to me, which I just posed to him in writing since we didn't talk this evening and haven't seen each other for almost a week. Do you think I am being too sensitive about it?
2 people like this
9 responses
@la_chique (1498)
29 Mar 09
Lol, it is just a guy thing. As long as everything else is fine, I wouldnt worry :)
2 people like this
• United States
29 Mar 09
Thanks for your comment, la_chique! Love your pic!!
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
29 Mar 09
I'm sorry I disagree with your daughter. Most times if you have doubts or concerns there's reason for concern. Why not put him to the test just don't call and see how long it takes. My guess is he has a trap line??? I could be wrong after all the goings on in my world lately men just aren't at the top of my list so maybe you don't want to hear my advice. Good Luck My Friend!!!
2 people like this
• United States
29 Mar 09
Hi Grandmaof2! It has been awhile. I just havne't figured out what it is. I have a problem with NOT calling him. I tell myself I am NOT going to, and then I just do anyway. Not sure what you mean by a "trap line"? My track record with men isn't so good, so I really am not looking for a soul mate, or any of that, but there is something that just doesn't ring true here, but there are some other things that I have enjoyed. I will say that I emailed him on the site that we met on and he didn't bother to answer me........no surprise there. The last time I did, he didn't even read it, or said he didn't. I am so frustrated with him at times. Guess I should play the waiting game today and it will drive me crazy. Thank you for the comments and what you say here makes good sense!
1 person likes this
@Vladilyich1 (1454)
• Canada
30 Mar 09
This is a very sensitive subject for me. It IS a guy thing and you really shouldn't take it personally. I met a lady online four years ago and she wanted to talk at least once a day (not just on the PC) since we were 2500 miles apart and in different countries. I got a cellphone. MISTAKE! $750 bill! It turned out to be much cheaper to get married and move in together. It's been two years now.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 09
Thank you, my friend. I was told it was a guy thing, so maybe I should just relax with it. I appreciate your comments. I am not worried about the cost since WE are only a few minutes from each other!! lol
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
maybe your being too clingy or because your always calling him and he knows that even when he says he'd call you end up calling so he won't try. you should have him call you or have him say "his gonna call you" and if he doesn't you don't call him. Do something different. and then he will feel like his missing something. If you stop being too clingy you will find hat he will start to come to you (if his in to you) but if he still doesn't want to call you or be around you, I think the message is preety clear.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 09
Thank you berrys! I have thought of NOT calling and find that I can't. I told him that, and it didn't seem to phase him, but I will try it some time when I haven't told him that I would call. I usually tell him I will call OR he will say to me, "call me later".
• Malaysia
29 Mar 09
I would give him the benefit of doubts. It is rather strange to be in relationship with someone who expects a lady to call always and not being sensitive to the love affairs that is said to be burning hot in your relationship. I would analyze and study his character carefully before taking the next move. It might be true that it is a guy thing. Love and relationship needs to be nourished by both parties equally. You should be hunted and not the hunter.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Mar 09
Thanks so much for your comments, alegnaluvu. I have had feelings that something is amiss, but it isn't something that I can actually put my finger on. BUT I do sometimes tend to have an overactive imagination, so your "analyze and study his character carefully", does make sense to me. But when I talk to him, it always does come out that things really are okay. He does have the gift of gab and I always like to believe that people are true to their word. I am also older and it is a strange thing for ME to be calling a man!! lol Thanks again.
1 person likes this
@trina48D (88)
• United States
30 Mar 09
You are being way sensitive. You are wanting a man to behave like a female would or at least like you would. Men do not typically like to chat on the phone, they are more visual. If this is going to be a long term commitment learn not to sweat the small stuff. Does he talk to you? Be thankful. Does he spend time laughing with you? Be thankful. If you want to change him rather than accept the way he is you need to look for someone else. We need to be with people that allow us the freedom to be ourselves and not to feel like we have to conform to their image to be acceptable.
• United States
30 Mar 09
Good observations. Thank you for your comments.
• Canada
29 Mar 09
You're not being sensitive at all. If someone SAYS HE IS GOING TO CALL, he should call, and that's all there is to it! When Walker and I were apart with him working in Arizona, and me living in Ontario, I would call him more often than not, but that's because at one point I had the better long distance plan. Then he got a better plan that I did, and it would be him calling me. If the other with the expensive plan wanted to make the call we'd call the other and ask them to call us right back, so we could both save money. Mind you we had excuses for our calls being the way they were. In your case, if he says he is going to call he needs to. If he doesn't call, then I don't blame you for initiating. It may not be a bad idea to talk to him and tell him how you feel about what is going on. whenver Walker and I had an issue about anything, we'd talk about it, and resolve it.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 09
We definitely talked about it and he has his excuses, which I still am not sure of. He is a busy man with the books he is into with the work he does with his own business and the computer work that goes along with it. He told me that he thinks about calling and then forgets when his mind strays to something in his work OR he is in the middle of something and he doesn't get to the call. In one way I am happy that he is so dedicated to his work and in another I would think that I am important enough that he could take a minute to call. I guess I still don't understand but I should be understanding, too! He's also mentioned to me that when I DO call him, that I need to leave a message, which I don't always do. Thanks for your comments!
@myahw20 (1115)
• Canada
30 Mar 09
No not at all. I think that it should be fair in a relationship. Sometimes this behavior of the guy tells you that he is not that into you or to the relationship which is not good. These things are signs of that so I guess you should look for more indications of his real feelings. Communication is a very important part of a relationship and both parties should be committed to it.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 09
Thank you myahw20. I often get to thinking as you have commented, but when I am with him, it is different, so I think it is just my overactive imagination. We do talk every day, and he is the one who started that. But now he is busy with his business and is reading and studying so much and it has changed and is hard to accept!! Thanks again for your comments.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I'd definately try and let him call me. I know you enjoy talking to him and you will miss it if he doesn't for a couple of days but sometimes you need to see if your worries are for something real or not. Maybe he's gotten in to the routine that you will call at a certain time and just figures you will. Keep yourself busy and see how it pans out. Oh..and no..your not to sensitive..your just wondering where you stand.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 09
Thank you, JenInTN. I appreciate your comments. I will have to let him call me sometime when I haven't said that I will call him, which is usually what happens.