Delima

Canada
March 31, 2009 7:04am CST
Ok heres the situation. 7 years ago I was involved with this guy. He was not single but going out with a girl who had his son. we were together well we were more friends with benifets. Then she had another child for him. He unfortunatly moved to alberta 5 years ago. Since moving to alberta he is still with the same girl but had a baby for that girls babysitter. Now he has three kids and doing both girls! Both girls know about each other and dont mind but neither know about me. I havent seen him in over 5 years. Now he is comming back for a 2 week visit and wants to continue where we left off. I really dont want to! What do i do? How do i tell him i dont want the benifets no more I just wana be friends? Although the benifets were good! WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?
5 responses
• Indonesia
31 Mar 09
i think you must left him. Dont get involve with him again even as a friend. You maybe ask me why? Here if you still meet him even he give you a lot of benefit what he can promise you for a future? will he marry you? If you ask him as a friend maybe foe a while he say yes but with time he will back with his old attitute. No one in this world will give you benefits for free.
• Canada
31 Mar 09
Hi thank you for your responce. The problem is he does love me so he has said, and I am in love with him. Unfortunatly he has two familys, one with his girlfriend and one with her babysitter. I dont think I would be able to be in a full time relationship with him because he has admitted that he cannot be with just one woman indefenatly. He will always be a cheater.
• United States
31 Mar 09
Well, sounds like a hard situation you're in. I would suggest either just avoiding him, or tell him the truth. The truth is usually hard to tell, but it's better off if he knows you don't like him like that anymore than if he thinks you do...
• Canada
31 Mar 09
Hi thank you for your responce but the problem Is Im actually in love with him! I just dont want to be friends with benifets. I would love it to be more but unfortunatly with the situation he is in with both women having kids for him. It is not possible!
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Hi there. I think that you should not get into this situation anymore. You've been able to be without him for five years. If you're in love with him, and even though he says he loves you too, this will not work out. You see, love is not just about love, the emotion. It's not just about benefits. It's about COMMITMENT too. If he cannot commit to you, if he has two more lovers with whom he has children with, then you don't deserve this kind of man. This kind of man will only play with you. And bitter part is, if you'll continue to allow him to. You should know what you deserve. There are men out there who will give you that. You just have to look and wait at the same time. This man will only give you a lot of heartaches. Besides, he has kids. If you make the wrong move, he might get you with child too. And if that happens, what kind of world will you be bringing your child to? What kind of family or father will she have? Will you be able to take it that your child will have to experience sharing his father with three other children and two other women? And I personally, don't think you should share your man with two other women. You deserve much better. You don't need his extra baggage. Get this man out of your mind and you'll see that life is so much lovelier.
@snowy22315 (76323)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I would tell him you cant be available to him until he knows what he wants. It is not fair to you to be with someone who is not able to commit to you. He sounds like a player with a capital P. How can you trust someone who is not able to be faithful to one woman. He just wants to take advantage of you.
@lizmeek (31)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I would be upfront with him and let him know that you aren't interested with the benefits just only friendship.