Relationship chain by PROMISES

Philippines
March 31, 2009 6:40pm CST
it is still right to hold a relationship if you both knew that what keeps holding you is only the promises you made for each other?. I love my boyfriend though i knew that he keeps holding me because he promise not to leave me and maybe because of my illness.i don't need to ask him if he still love me, i can see it through his eyes and actions. he is not what he was before. i don't feel his love anymore. i'm thinking of breaking him up for him to be free and to find his real happiness but everytime i tried; i just opened my mouth but there's no voice came out, my voice beat faster and my tear flown unwanted the only reason i know is i dont want him to go away from me. but is it right to chain my love for him though i know what he have for me now is care? do i need to let him go? how will i move on if i do that?
2 people like this
11 responses
@cbakin20 (150)
• United States
1 Apr 09
I'd say that you are still in love with him, so I don't think you should make the decision now. Because you still feel a connection from you to him, it'll be hard for you to do anything. I'd wait, if I were you, and see what he does. If he is very uncomfortable in the situation, he'll hopefully end it himself, which will put you out of this awkward situation. I hope everything goes well for you, and I am sorry about how it is unfolding, although it's great that he's nice enough to stick with you anyway. I know plenty of guys who are so stuck up that they would NEVER think about their girlfriend's feelings/life before breaking up with her.
1 person likes this
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Time heals all wound they say and you should know that when you let go of someone that is one of the hardest thing to do. I know that you love him because you can't even say the words to make him leave you. I think you should not let him stay and just make him go if you feel that he does not love you anymore. Or you can ask him how much is he willing to wait for you to get well or for the both of you to be in a situation where the love is already gone? Yes it is hard to let go. But it is harder to stay when one is no longer happy or one only feels care for the other and not love. SO I suggest just let go of him. Who knows when you are away he will realize that he loves you and may go back? All things in life are uncertain. We can only live with what happens in PRESENT. SO act on it because you are already affected and your lover too.
1 person likes this
• China
1 Apr 09
I think you should have a talk with him first. Many time we had some wrong idea about the others, there are maybe some reasons. If he do realise you not his kind of girl, let he go.In this way, you set him free and also yours'
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
that is brave of you. but i think, you have to be strong first (physically) so that when you talk to him, he won't feel guilty should he decide to let go of your relationship. and as others have said, if he really loves you, he'll come back to you if you are really meant for each other. good luck on your decision and get well soon.
1 person likes this
@kedves (728)
1 Apr 09
It is a very brave decision you wish to make and only advice I can give you is talk to him tell him how you feel and let him know you are willing to let him go so he can find happiness. When you do that if he stays then you know he does still love you but if he goes you have more chance that he will still be in your life as a very close friend. Is that not better than in the end lose him all together?
1 person likes this
@darksorrow (4667)
• Bangladesh
1 Apr 09
Hello Cellyne. Did not knew you had illness. Well good luck to you. Hope you get well soon. Well there is a point where you may feel different that your love has changed or may feel the other way that you two are not same as before. But don't think all things your self. Talk about it with him. Then see what's in him. And was it expected from him. my tear flown unwanted the only reason i know is i dont want him to go away from me i know the meaning of this because i have gone through this once. And for your questions: Does your love wants to go? Is caring about you makes you think his love has changed? Set him free, no need to chain him. He will be with you if he loves you. No matter what and how you are. What i know everything else does not make any sense when it comes to your love. Love is divine and should not be judged with any law of the world. Follow your heart. And goodluck for your illness my friend.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
If you can sense his distance you are probably right. Gut feelings are not usually wrong. You need to talk to him about this and get him to be truthful about his feelings regardless of past promises. You have to live for now for that is all you've got. If your instincts are right you will have to let him go, otherwise neither of you will ever find happiness again. I realise this would not be easy at all but you will be doing yourselves a huge disservice if you continue to live a life that is less than authentic. I wish all the very best for you!
@siomaiii (238)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
I admire you for accepting the reality that your boyfriend is not in love with you. You are not living in denial. Instead of breaking up with him, talk to him first. What are his plans for your relationship? Is he holding on to you just because he made a promise that he will never leave you? What if these are just speculations? What is important to you, being happy with him by your side or seeing your boyfriend happy without you in his life? Your happiness or you boyfriend's happiness? Have a heart to heart talk with him, to clear things out. God bless you!
@neon007 (37)
• China
3 Apr 09
The love often have several levels. When you just started your love,you were both active,and your hearts were filled up with each other. As time goes by, the passion is diluted.Maybe you have concerned too much about him.I don't know your illness ,but I think it doesn't matter for him. Just hold him if you are still in love with him, and he can feel something. Just try to share your feelings with him. Bless!
@parvezs (106)
• India
1 Apr 09
Relationship going on just for promise sake is fake and you should let it go right away as it will one day or other no longer be yours so better let that day be today than tommorow with additional memories which might make you weak in doing so. I think you should break up as soon as possible and let him go, set him free if he truely loves you he wont go anywhere and surely come back to you and if he never comes back then you too don't wait and go ahead life is very long look for your perfect lover. All the best. God bless you.
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
1 Apr 09
Cellyne, I wonder what and how would you be going about the matter when it is the other way around and that the person who is sick will be your boyfriend. I felt that you are not looking at the whole issue from the other perspective. It is already bad enough to discover that a love one is struck with a long term or terminal illness, so besides the anxieties, frustrations - the other party is also lost as to what is the best next step to take. It does not mean that the love that you both shared can be depleted or lack in any way. The both of you will need to adjust and most of all communicate all the more as to what and where this relationship is going and heading to. There's no point trying to second guess each other out, and trying to push away someone's devotion, love and care when they are trying their best to reach out to you with their hearts. It also does not give you the right for ever trying to guess when there is enough unknowns and doubts around. If you must how about guessing the numbers for the grand prized local lottery. I think it would be better that you let him speak and do whatever he deems fit and wants to and you just have to accept and appreciate it and work your way to recovery. Love sometimes are unconditional and the giver can sometimes be at lost as to how to give it. Take care and hope that you will get well soon.