Can you be a friend with your former bf/gf?

China
April 1, 2009 6:03am CST
Several days ago, I received a call from my former boyfriend, he talk to me for a while and ask me if I am happy or not , finally, he asked if he can be my friend ,I said no , it's difficult to accept it, if you were I , what will you do ? @_@ Happy mylot!
3 people like this
25 responses
• China
2 Apr 09
Sure,my former bf and I become friends after we aparted.We sometimes connact with each other although we live far away from each other.And my present bf don't mind that the friendship between I and my former bf.I think it is ok to be friends with your former bf.
@daliaj (5680)
• India
2 Apr 09
Oh..that is a great thing about your present boy friend. Usually, I have seen guys are more possessive than girls and they don't like thier girl having conenctions with their ex bfs. He has a great open minded person. Will you mind if is friends with his ex gf?
1 Apr 09
Me and my ex ended on really good terms and we're still friends and we're still talking! Unless you've ended on really bad terms, i don't understand why you cannot still be friends with each other. Meh, it's just my opinion, i just couldn't do that to someone who i have been so close with for a long period of time.
@daliaj (5680)
• India
2 Apr 09
Ok.I have a question for you. What is your current gf or wife think about being friends with your ex? Is she ok with that? My husband was friends with one of his ex. gf. I can't tell you how much I felt for that. I don't think no girl is sooo... open minded to take such things. I was really pisted off and hurt so much because he was sending messages to her infront of me.
• Malaysia
6 Apr 09
i guess it depends on what caused the break-up..usually i'm not able to be friends with my ex straight away, it's really difficult. but in time when all the hurt and pain has gone away, it gets easier. sometimes i think that maybe we're better off as friends, if we can't be lovers but i dunno. as much as i dont want to lose a friend, i prefer to just stay away.
@KrauseHome (36682)
• United States
3 Apr 09
Well, I actually am still friends with a couple of guys I used to date before I met my husband, and we do talk from time to time. I find it to be No BIG deal since they live quite a ways from me, and I am Happily Married and they know this and are in Relationships of their own as well. Personally I think it depends on the people, and how their Relationship ended as well. If you can do it without problems go for it, otherwise leave it be and move on.
@JenInTN (27545)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I think you did the right thing. I don't know the sitiation behind your breakup but sometimes it's best not to be friends. Being civil is much better. If you see him out you can say hi or even smile but as far as talking on the phone or hanging out..maybe not the best thing for you. Take care.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
Hi, wanglu... I know it's hard to accept friendship from exes... but after a while when the pain of breaking up is gone, accepting friendship is okay I think. Unless he is committed to another woman and it is creating problems with their own relationship, then I don't think it's good to keep it... I'm still friends with my ex but I rarely rarely talk to him because I don't want my bf to think badly of me even though he knows about it. He trusts me so I wanted to keep that trust forever
• United States
2 Apr 09
you could be friends with him as long as you dont feel anything for him. but some prefer to stay off than be friends..so not to attract any feelings again
@wxo200345 (101)
• China
2 Apr 09
since the love is over, i will choose to forget. at least it is unfair to the one who is accompanying with you at the moment. there is no reason to hurt your current partner,unless you are not real love him/her. there is a saying that love is private
• India
2 Apr 09
I will say yes. There is no harm in being frend with someone with whome you intracted earlier. After all being you earlier boyfriend he knows your likes and dislikes. So it is very easy for you to get in sink with him. Afterall it is very easy to find good friends in this world. So better forget all bad exeriences and fix the old relationships.
@agrim94 (3807)
• India
2 Apr 09
Being a friend or not is entirely dependent upone how you broke up. If it was a very dirty and messy break up it is difficult but if it was just you 2 drifted apart then it is easy to be friends with each other. It also depends if you have same group of friends and continuously meet in the meetings of your friends group or parties. So i dont think it is impossible for ex to be friends with each other.
@jerrydzy (47)
• China
2 Apr 09
Perhaps.It depends on the reason that you split up and your feeling for this.In addition ,you have to consider how your current boyfriend/girlfriend think about it,after all,this is not only thing about yourself.If I were you,I think I would refuse it,it is difficult for me too.Good luck:)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I would have said no also. It is too hard to be friends with someone you once felt otherwise for. It makes it uncomfortable & without even trying you could get jealous if he tries to talk to you about another girl. I am not friends with any of my ex's.
• China
2 Apr 09
of course because we were better more than friend we share happiness and sorrow we spend most of the time toghter but now we are not better like ago leave from each other just for a moment although we could not be girlfriend or boyfriend but we could be still friend it is very helpful when you need help, I think acept it is good ,thank you very much!
@katkat (2378)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
I think it is alright to befriend your former boyfriend. It will only be difficult I guess to do so if you still have some resentments and wasn't able to forgive him. Befriending him, I guess is a part of the "moving on" process. When you let go of all the grudges then it would be easier for you to move on. But the factor that should be consider is time. In due time I guess you'll be able to let go and move on and perhaps befriend your ex-boyfriend, it is better to make friends than let someone you used to love be a stranger, or worst be your enemy.
@xhaylea (363)
1 Apr 09
In my opinion, yean you can still be friends with your ex boyfriends/girlfriends, cause when you break up and whatever it just means you don't feel inlove with eachother anymore, but it doesn't mean you can't still be friends with eachother.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
1 Apr 09
I am trying to be friends with an ex, and I have to admit it is getting to be too difficult. I found out he is in a new relationship and I admit my heart sank and I wanted to cry. Even though I dated someone after we broke up and in a relaitonship now. I still lvoe him and I don't think I can be friends with him anymore.
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Well on my part,I don,t want to be friend with my ex when we are not seperating in good terms.Like what happend to me,we never had a formal break up with my ex,like not clear where we stand after all.though he was the one betraying me for another woman and without letting me know that we ended our relationship,no formal break-up,that,s why whenever he called me sometimes I gave him a negative remarks and being sarcastic to him because of what he did,as if nothing happend,only time could heal or when he said sorry to me perhaps that the time I give my respect with him again and befriended.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Just like you I don't think I can be friends with my ex boyfriend with the true meaning of the word "friend". I don't want to be enemies with anybody but I don't want to be close again with him. We could be civilized and just exchange hellos if we happen to bump with each other but we can't be friends who cares and shares secrets.
@tatiana07 (498)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
it depends on how we end up our relationship..and if he's the one who offered friendship then i can't say no especially if he's sincere doing it..if you're happy with what your life after the break up then you could still be friends with him.
@rymebristol (1787)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
definitely yes, no matter what reason for the split up, the possibility of being friends with your past lover is still possible. i had a girlfriend in high school and after 4 long years we split up because of third party but not my fault by her fault, she find someone more interesting than me haha, even though it had been that painful for me, we are still friend, she's married now with that guy and would you believe that the name of her first child was derived from me. so i do believe that past lovers can still be friends, after all, before someone ended up as lovers/partner, they build their relationship as friends, right?