Move Over Tent Revivals and that Cool Water Salvation
By ParaTed2k
@ParaTed2k (22940)
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
April 3, 2009 10:22am CST
I guess it had to happen sometime. There was just too much money to be made. Preachers of everything from the God's honest truth to the Snakiest of Oils have had a corner on the baptism market for far too long.
In seemingly record numbers, folks are deciding that believing in one god or the other isn't leading them down the path of enlightenment and fulfillment. They are turning their hearts and minds to "none of the above".
But there's a problem with that.. It's easy to capitalize on a real, "hallellujah" "can I get an Amen!" old time religion. All you have to do is come up with something, find a group of people who want it, and let the dunking, sprinkling or ugly nekkid man in Friends dancing by the light of the silvery moon commence!
No, the real challenge is making a buck off atheism. Only Jerry Seinfeld & Co. are talented enough to make a buck off "nothing"...
Until now!
Atheists, Agnostics, and Spiritually Apathetic, you are no longer left in the lurch. Someone has come to your rescue, with an idea you might be able to dive right into.
"Liberate yourself from the Original Mumbo-Jumbo that liberated you from the Original Sin you never had."
That's right, you can trade all that spiritual mumbo jumbo for your very own "De-Baptism" mumbo jumbo. As a token of your de-dunking, you get to download, your very own Certificate of De-baptism.
How can someone get rich off of something like that? They report that over 100,000 de-created Christians have laid down the cross and download the crest.. at $4 a shot... not bad (old) scratch!
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-04-02-atheist-de-baptism_N.htm
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Adoniah (7512)
• United States
3 Apr 09
Sorry, but I don't think it is such a bad an idea. When you have a child in the hospital, and there is something wrong with that child, it is automatically baptised. You are not asked, it is just done. I am Jewish. How do you think I felt when I woke up from a C-section surgery and found out that my daughter had been baptised without my permission while I was under anesthesia?
What gives people the right to do this without asking the parents first? Just because they are christian the whole world has to be christian? Bull! I was perfectly willing to allow my daughters a chance to make their own choices as they grew up and they have. But these people, and it happens in all hospitals, feel that no one should have such choices.
Shalom~Adoniah
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
4 Apr 09
Which hospital is that?
No, it doesn't happen in all hospitals. I've lived in 11 states; was in EMS in 4 of them, had kids in 3 of them and I've never heard of this before you brought it up.
@Adoniah (7512)
• United States
5 Apr 09
The Hospital was West Volusia Memorial in Volusia Co Fl. It went bankrupt a couple of years ago and this happened 27 years ago. But my eldest daughter just had a baby in Southeast Mo. and they baptised her baby without her consent because she said she did not believe in baptism. Someone decided that the baby needed to be baptised since the mother was a heathen. They did not find out until the baby went back for a checkup at the clinic and one of the nurses mentioned that she was there when the child was baptised. No one will say which nurse did it either. So it is still done especially in the "Bible Belt".
Shalom
@betsyraeduke (2669)
• United States
6 Apr 09
Well, bible belt or not, you should look into this more and consult a lawyer about it if you haven't done so already. It is probably to late for you, but your daughter might be able to sue or something, I really don't think that the hospital or anyone working in it has the legal right to do that, not even in the "bible belt". I could be wrong, but it wouldn't hurt to check into it. Even amongst Christians who believe in baptism, not all of them believe in having a newborn baptised. Some believe that baptism symbolizes some sort of commitment between God and the person getting baptised and therefore they do not believe in baptising a baby, they believe that a person should have that done when they are older and ready to enter into the commitment for themselves. This is why I doubt that even hospitals in the "bible belt" have the legal right to baptise one's baby without permission. Since this would even upset a Christian who believed in baptism if it was one who did not believe in baptising babies.
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
3 Apr 09
What, no atheist threatening to die and be taken to, uh, nowhere if someone doesn't give them a couple of million? Hey, it worked for Oral Roberts. 
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
3 Apr 09
I can hear it now!
"Ok folks, I was told in a figment of someone's imagination that if I can't raise $400,000 no one will take me off this earth to nowhere!" ;~D
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
4 Apr 09
Hi ParaTed, It's very true that there is big bucks in preaching for anyone who sets out to make money from it. There are also some clergy who believe in what they are doing and who do not make a lot of money because they only want to serve their congregations. After saying that I'm sort of pleased that the Atheists and others have gotten in on the act, after all we are all free to choose. I do not watch TV evangelists, nor go to any of the performances that they put off as I have a very difficult time thinking that any of them can possibly believe what they are preaching. I would like to see such money go to ending poverty and homelessness as well as ending all war, and that includes the share that the atheists are now getting. Lets wake up people before it's too late to save the planet and humanity. Blessings.
