Can you honestly love your STEP CHILDREN like your own kids?
By daliaj
@daliaj (5674)
India
7 responses
@srganesh (6339)
• India
7 Apr 09
If those children resemble the partner,then I think it will be easy to shower love on them.And if they are resembling the ex of the partner,then really a tough job is ahead.The partner will also have the same difficulty even,I think.Cheers!
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Apr 09
Oh...Ganesh, I don't really think that the resemblence or appearance of the kid will be a problem for a step partent to love the kid. You are not loving the kid for whom the kid is and how good he behaves to you and not for the resemblance. Anybody else here, do you really think that the appearance is a matter in loving a kid?
@freak369 (5112)
• United States
6 Apr 09
I'm sort of in that situation. My boyfriend has two kids and I do love them deeply but I can see how some people won't be able to get over that type of a situation. I think it makes it worse when people aren't upfront about it right away, its almost like they are springing something big on them if they don't tell them straight away that they have kids. I know a lot of people with step kids and some mix well and others don't. There's a lot of variables to consider. I don't treat them any better than my own but when they mess up they don't get special treatment either.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Apr 09
Yes, I understand what you are saying. Yes, a lot of people love and treat their step children as their own children. But, sometimes the kids won't be having the same mentality towards the step mother. But, it is a minority. A lot of people are living happily with step children. All the best for you! 
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
6 Apr 09
I don’t have any step children but I think you are correct. A biological child is our own flesh and blood carrying a part of our own genes. We always tend to overlook their shortcomings and exaggerate their positive traits coz in doing so, we are just patting our own back indirectly. In case of stepchildren or adopted children, no matter how much we try, it keeps coming back to our mind that the genes are after all, not our own, the flesh and blood is somebody else. Comparisons keep cropping up and genes are invariably referred to whenever some unexpectred bad behaviour (not in the family norms) needs explanation. Some little voice in our subconscious (like the Devil) keeps on whispering that after all, the child is not my own.
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
6 Apr 09
Of course there is always a difference but true love can happen on adopted children if the parents doesnt have their own kids. I myself think that I can love step children if Im the one who raised them since toddler.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Apr 09
Yes, I agree with you. If parents doesn't have any other kid, then they love the adoped kid as their own kid. Even I think, people love thier adopted kids more than there step kids. What do you say?
Because people adopt kids because they really want to adopt and there is a lot of thinking and decision making behind that. But, when you get a step kid, you might really want that kid or you will be forced to love the kid....something like that. But, I belive many parents treat there step kids nicely similar to the way they treat their own kids.
@cheryltippett (231)
• United States
6 Apr 09
I beg to differ .. I love my step son just like he was my own child . I have been his step mom since he was 8 years old and now he is 18 and I have watched him grow, fall , get bruised and get back up right beside my son who is a year younger. Never once did I love him any less. I would give my life to save my step childs just as fast as I would my other son.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Apr 09
You are a great person my dear friend. 
Your step son is really lucky to get a mom like you. It is a good and healthy attitude. It is good for the well being of the family. I appreciate your response. I am so happy to read it and realize that there are very nice people like you in this world.
Your step son is really lucky to get a mom like you. It is a good and healthy attitude. It is good for the well being of the family. I appreciate your response. I am so happy to read it and realize that there are very nice people like you in this world. 
@alegnaluvu (660)
• Malaysia
6 Apr 09
Children are gift from God and they did not ask to be born into a broken home and end up as stepchildren. Love and cherish them as your very own and the difference of indifference will vanish. I have no stepchildren but have adopted children which I love as my biological children.
@cream97 (29085)
• United States
6 Apr 09
Hi, daliaj! To be plainly honest with you, I can't love them the same way as I would love my own children. There will be a difference. No matter how much that I try and pretend. I will love them. If I had no kids, then I would love them as if they were my own. Yes, there is a difference for me it is. I am sorry but that is my feelings. I can't love them exactly as I would love my own flesh and blood. It would be different as far as the love is concerned.
