Quick to help others but when you need help nobody is there to help you?

United States
April 6, 2009 10:34pm CST
I have always been one to help a friend in need at anytime day or night. I show friendship with love and support and give as much as I can. Heres what hurts- how come it seems like the friends I have always helped and supported dont seem to be there for me when I need them? I just started my own business and I have been working really hard to get it off the ground, but nobody has asked me what they can do to help or has made a purchase! Im so sad because if you cant count on friends and family then who CAN you count on?!
2 people like this
27 responses
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
I can say that I also can relate. There are times when the much needed help is nowhere to be found especially among the people whom you count on or trust to lend you a hand. I have learned to deal with it by not expecting too much from these people since what i did for them became much more rewarding for me. It gave me a good feeling about myself when I helped them. I just wanted to ask if you had asked for their help and they refused you. I think that would really hurt me too if that happened.
• United States
8 Apr 09
Thanks everyone for your responses- they have made me feel so much better these past couple of days and its amazing that I am getting so much more support from total strangers then my closest and longest "friends". I have had questions about what business I am involved in and it is Mary May- I am a Beauty Consultant! I still have had only one customer and I have been reaching out to everyone but no luck! If you are interested in purchasing Mary Kay for you or someone else PM me! Im also offering a great deal for Mother's Day! Thank you again everyone for your support and your responses have been super motivating!
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Hi sarahbella! Oh how I can relate to this one! Isn't sad how you can always be the one to be there for everyone, friends especially, but when it comes to you no one is ever there! I absolutely hate that and just can't understand! I am always there for people who even aren't really my friends, they are just neighbors, but if I was to need them, they wouldn't be there for me and it so hurts! How do you justify this? I don't want to be like them, but it does hurt me that when I am there for them they can't even acknowledge it! I just don't know what to say or do! I am so hurt and it pains me so much!
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
8 Apr 09
sarahbella, I used to feel the same way. I was and still am to an extent, still the one to jump up and try to help others and I was hurt when I asked to be helped and everyone turned a deaf ear. It was hard for me to ask for help at first, but when I did, I almost wished I hadn't. I then realized that I do things for people because I wanted to. It made me feel good inside to do something that was positive. I kept asking myself what was I doing wrong for people not to want to return the favor. The answer was simple. I was "expecting" them to return the favor. Things became easier for me when I stopped expecting. Favors are sometimes returned in ways that you least expect and sometimes from places and in ways that you had never even would have thought of. I now pick and choose the things that I don't mind doing. I'm not going to run around tiring myself out "doing" for everyone else. I still feel good for helping other and sometimes even more so because I am picking what I want to do when I want to do it. DCMerkle
• India
7 Apr 09
hi i wud like to englighten u in this unawareness...our god krishna has taught us in his scriptures that "u should help only those, who help u" "u should be helpless those who are helpless to u" very simple. you just be helpers of helper and helpless of helpless. become a queen in helping others...coz God helps who helps themselves... bye luv shek india
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
I also help others and friends when they need me especially when they really need help.
@jayb88 (43)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I know how you feel. That is how it was for me. But after many years of helping others with food, money, clothes and a place at my home to stay i decided that my payback is karma. I say this simply because my life went from hell in a handbasket (about 10 years ago) to happy and fulfilling and a steady rythm of good. I do wish you luck in your new business, and if you need anything feel free to PM me, I dont know what I could do to help, but I love to lend a helping hand :)
@blion23 (404)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I feel like this happens to me sometimes. I always help my friends and family but it sometimes that the amount of help that I give them is not reciprocal. It bugs me a lot, however I know that I can always count on my parents. They are always there for me no matter what the problem is.
@wildcat48 (779)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Honey been there done that,honey there are only a few good one's out there get rid of the free loaders and the ones that dont do back,their only there for what they can get off of you .thats all.They are user! .
@hotsummer (10523)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
maybe they are waiting for you to ask for help. or they may be to shy to help cause you were the ones who seem to be in better position. anyways, hopefully they will help you soon and will show some effort to help you in whatever problem you have.
• United States
7 Apr 09
yea i feel the same i help out a lot of my friends no matter what, i've bailed them out of jail,payed bills, talked to them when they needed some one to talk to, helped them move, fixed their cars, the list goes on and on, but when im in trouble or need some one to talk to or something no one seems to be around or to busy to talk or they dont care or they dont want to or something so im cuting back on the people who i hang out with i know i do have some friends i can count on and i'll keep them the others im cutting ties...or maybe i should just let them sit on the highway next time their tire blows out or in jail? but i think its pretty lame people will count on you but then when u need some one theirs no one around..
@HelloMickey (1656)
• Hong Kong
7 Apr 09
Hello sarahbella, Sorry to hear that. I think it always happens. Those persons who helped me when I got troubles or I needed helps are someone I didn't expect. I think it throughout that who really help me are all my true friends. I will help them back whenever they need helps. Sometimes, we might be confused to treat someone as a real friend, but he/she is not. You will reveal who is your real friend.
@prinzcy (5036)
• Malaysia
7 Apr 09
I'm the same as you. Sometime it make me think that I must an idiot to keep forgiving them and never leave them after the they way they behave. But then again, if I don't do something when they're in trouble, I might regret it.
• China
7 Apr 09
i'd like to help others too,no matter whether i know him or her,and i will feel sad too if i am in trouble and no one comes to give me a hand.but that never happens. i am thinking that if you have ever told your friends and family that you need their help?you know that nowsdays everyone is so busy that he/she has no time to take notice of other's trouble,and if you think they are your real friends just tell them your problem.maybe you will happy than before. best wishes!!
• Malaysia
7 Apr 09
this always puzzles me too. whenever i need something, no one's there to help me but when people need anything, they always seem to come to me and expect me to help them and so on. at work too- whenever i need any info, ppl will make it like it's no big deal and will be sooo slow to provide me with the details i need but when they want something from me, i've to give it to them pronto. what's going on here? i really hate it when things like that happens. just hang in there and know that you're not alone! i'm sure that there are still ppl who really do care out there...
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Yes that happened, really disappointing but anyway at least you did your part. If they did not return the favor you made for them, others will do. Blessings come your way without knowing. God sees every good thing you do and He has a corresponding reward that others could not give you. Remain to be helpful, life is a long way to go. You may not receive rewards here but for sure in heaven you will do.
@zahfran (851)
• Singapore
7 Apr 09
Yeah, I've been in similar situations and I've read about this somewhere. It's funny but it's your exact friends that don't want to see you succeed. They don't want to see you on top while they're still below. That is if, you're talking from the business mind. But for me, a real friend will truly help you no matter what. What you've just said is a true test to find who your real friends are. If they know that you've opened a store and didn't even have time for a simple congratulations, guess they're not worth to be good friends.
@vardon (90)
• China
7 Apr 09
Be strong ,sara.I understand you feeling becouse i underwent it ago.Friends can help you sometime but they can't do anything.The truth is that i can't count on anybody but myself.
@roysville (496)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
That's true, I've experienced that too. Although I am personally not one who would always reach out... but my wife was. She would go out of her way just to help others. But when it was her who is need of help, most of those he helped are out of reach.
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
for me, i was lucky because my friend is always there for me most especially when i needed them. I actually said, i am rich with friend. the sad part, i don't have much support from family.
@SimpleBB (1330)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Yes, sometimes this is true. I said sometimes because there might be a good reason why they can't be there for you. Probably, they're are not just aware how can they be of help. Some people if not that demonstrative, they don't know how can they please you. Maybe the best thing you can do is look at the positive side, that you're friends are not that capable of doing things which you expect them to do. And right I agree with someone here that, isn't it better to know that you are more capable to help, meaning you are more fortunate than those people who needs help. Don't expect in return, though sometime the pain occurs when you're the one in need. Just be happy that you still have the chance of putting up a business,though you did not mention how you did help them. Just be grateful being the one to help then rather than the one who needs help.