Delicate Subject - Infidelity and "Status Positive"
April 11, 2009 2:41pm CST
We have a person in our lives right now who we have fairly regular contact with. We couldn't really classify him as a friend, but a trusted acquaintance. He's gay, but that's never bothered us. My DH and him have worked side by side for many years... We've met his partner, we're all friendly, we've had a few BBQ's, we trade help with our houses, keys have been exchanged to cover vacation care of homes/pets... We recently found out that one of them may be HIV positive as a result of infidelity. We would NEVER ask and would NEVER encourage the kind of conversation that would lead to us finding out his/their status. HOWEVER, he works for us on a very steady basis and it's a service industry. Tools, close quarters, scraped knuckles that guys get all the time while working... He comes into our home regularly to pick up parts, turn in service slips, etc. Our son actually LOVES him and always runs to hug and kiss "Uncle X." My thought on the matter is simple; the CDC states that casual contact does not carry any risk. Hand shakes, hugs, kisses on the cheek... MY DH, on the other hand, seems to be worried and now my over active mind in reeling! He thinks this person should tell us if he is in fact positive because DH feels that he has a duty to our customers. He also has made comments on allowing our son contact with Uncle X... "What if Uncle X nics himself shaving and then comes over and Alex kisses him on the cheek?" DH also I think is weary of working along side Uncle X because "what if we both cut our hands and we pass a tool back and forth?" I'd like some thoughts on this. We've NEVER had any problems with gay men or women. We live the "each to their own" lifestyle. As long as nobody is trying to force their lifestyles on us, we don't care. But, we've also never had such a huge issue presented to us either. Would you change your style of relationship with someone just because you found out they are (or may be) positive?? What about children? Would you limit contact between and infected person and your child? TIA