Why is it okay for a girl to be a tomboy but not vice versa?
@saffrondreams (596)
Canada
April 15, 2009 11:05am CST
Why is it more acceptable for girls to have typically "masculine" personality traits and clothes and for them to wear boyish clothing than the reverse?
Most people would not take a second glance at a girl who was wearing a T-shirt and baggy pants, but even a guy who wears a pink shirt might be thought of as gay...and let's not get into the guys who wear skirts.
If a girl wants to play with GI Joe ,play soccer, or take up karate, she's merely thought of as a tomboy and most people think nothing of it. But if a boy wants to play House, take up ballet, or play with Barbies, a lot of parents will be worried that he'll turn out gay or something. Did you know that parents are twice as likely to send their sons to a gender clinic or therapist for cross-gender behavior?
I'll concede that if a girl acts "too" masculine (like if she was butch), that it would turn heads, but in general it seems that girls are given more leeway when it comes to cross gendered behavior compared to boys. In fact, girls can be derided for being "too" girly whereas manliness is generally celebrated.
Why do you think that is? Is it because, on some level, people think that boys who act girly are lowering themselves? Even in this progressive age where we supposedly have gender equality, do people still subconsciously hold the idea that males are superior to females?
Thoughts, anyone?
5 responses
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
16 Apr 09
It's a double standard. I quite detest it. People should just be themselves, and it shouldn't draw such animosity just because it's not a social norm.
The social norm is HIGHLY overrated.
Besides, effiminate or overly masculine, it doesn't predetermine -anyone- to be gay, male or female, and I'm entirely OVER that preconcieved notion.
Gah. People.
People in general aren't intelligent. INDIVIDUALS, are the best things ever, and quite clever when you get down to it...but in general...augh, the mob rule. I suppose I'll always be hitting my head against THAT wall.
1 person likes this
@saffrondreams (596)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
Haha, I agree that social norms are pretty overrated. And I'm of the opinion that the notion that people have to act a certain way because of their body parts is kind of silly though a lot of people I know irl will disagree with me (coming from quite a conservative background)
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
15 Apr 09
I don't understand why it is such a big deal if a boy wants to play with barbie or play house. When I was younger, I played football, baseball with the boys, but then my brother and I would play house, he would play with my barbie (he brought his GI Joes to play too) and stuffed animals and whatever else. My mom never thought anything of it. He learned to use his imagination and get a long well with the girls, just like I learned to interact with the boys. I see nothing wrong with a boy wanting to do some girly things and I don't think it will "turn" him guy.
@saffrondreams (596)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
I agree, but it seems that a lot of people get up in arms if their son wants to play with Barbie.
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
15 Apr 09
Hi saffrondreams,
In my humble opinion, it has to do first with the cultural background where the masculine girl and the feminine boy grows up, and do not forget genes either.
But wheter they're influenced, they have it in them, or if it's something that's temporary to behave like that, nobody should be pointing fingers. The only ones you can blame when they're being marked as "weirds" is society around them ... and that is not ok.
1 person likes this
@saffrondreams (596)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
Thanks for your response. You're right, society should be more accepting of these people and nobody should be pointing fingers, but all too often people do.
@mira91 (985)
• Singapore
16 Apr 09
Well maybe so to your lst question...And it's maybe because of that, that i keep on being bothered by males who think so highly of their gender, i hate chauvinists...Especially male ones since i haven't encountered any female ones. I guess it's just a natural thing for us to be bothered at guys who goes around in tubes and spaghettis because it's just a natural repulsive thing to be seeing...I don't know about the whys, i just know that it's not a sight that everyone would enjoy..Besides, with guys wearing girls' stuff, ALMOST every guy like that turns our gay....I repeat, ALMOST. hehe ^_^
@saffrondreams (596)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
I agree - people should be able to dress however they want...they're not hurting anyone :)
@mira91 (985)
• Singapore
16 Apr 09
True...haha...At guys with slender bodies WEARING girls's clothes? It's still an uncomfortable sight to me...Sorry but i just can't imagine myself being comfortable around that...I happen to be MORE comfortable around gays who actually dress like the normal men. But well, normal is just so hard to define nowadays...lol...Sooooo i guess who cares, it's their life, if they want to wear stuff like that then go ahead..what i can only do is to be uncomfortable, and i don't think that that's gonna stop them from being that way either...
1 person likes this
@Flowfire (77)
• China
15 Apr 09
It is interesting. If you are in Korea or Japan, you can find some clubs in which members who are all male, will get together in skirts or dresses in a certain time like Friday night. They will also make up and wearing silk stocks. And as for China, you can find some boys post their picture of their crossdressing and cosplay as cute girls.
I have once saw a man in a skirt, standing in the corner of the Metro ectrance, and, interestingly, holding an unfolded newspaper to keep his faced from being seen. It seems that he wantted to show his dressing but lacked the courage to show his face.
@saffrondreams (596)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
Interesting! Are these clubs popular or considered mainstream?
Also, how do people generally react to their cross dressing?
