i live with my mom

Philippines
April 16, 2009 3:58am CST
if the person you like then you are out on a date then he/she told you taht she lives with her/his mom is this a turn off or what. i mean if he/she is around 27 years old or more. when i met my wife now, i am still living with my mom. and it doesnt matter with her. she is even willing to live with my mom if ever. but my mom does not like my wife so i choose to live with my wife in a different place from my mom. but i still do visit my mom. so when a person you are dating tells you I LIVE WITH MY MOM is it a turn on or turn off?
2 people like this
24 responses
• United States
16 Apr 09
Well If I could choose right now I would live with my mom and save some money LOL...but on another side I would feel a little doubt only because I believe a young man of 27 should be on his own and have a stable job... but then you have those who are in school who need extra assistance or those who live with their mother to give her assistance. When I mate my husband he was staying with his mom I did have a little doubt but he grew on me.. so what can I say :o)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
what a very amtured and intellectual way to put your response. some of the responder are very angry of the discussion they even said something bad about people who are around me. i am just asking if it is a turn on or a turn off. your response is very intellectual and deserves to be the best response thanks a lot for the time. cheers
• United States
21 Apr 09
Thanks You I really appreciate that made my day ... you have a good one:o)
@emilie2300 (1889)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I am not sure I have never experinced that. My brother is 29 and he still lives with my parents. He has dated several girls and they didn't seem to mind.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
good to know that it was not a turn off, for it was not a turn off for me as well when i was still dating. i was just curious to ask for i can see on films that guys was teased as nerds and mama's boy if they are old enough to live on their own and they still live with their moms. thanks a lot for the response
• United States
20 Apr 09
That's TV for you they try to make you believe everything on TV is real and it is not. That's why kids out there believe everything they see on TV because it is so miss leading. I am sorry you felt that way. But it is not a turn off. You shouldn't feel that way. And the way I see it is if a women can't understand who you are and what you are or why you stay where you stay then there not in love with you because they would respect all of that. Because that's who you are that is what makes you comfortable your mom could be sick we don't know that. But it is part of who you are and that needs to be respected in a relation ship. I am just speaking my opinion hear so I am sorry if any one is offended. I just know from my brother and I have respect for him and tell him the same thing. You save so much money living at home with no worries gosh he don't even pay rent. Just his and moms cell phone bill and the internet access and the home how lucky can that be I wouldn't want to leave either. Sometime I wish I didn't leave but I left at the age 17 to be on my own. Good luck to you.
• United States
16 Apr 09
I think it depends on the situation. Are they living with their mom to help with each others finances? To help with medical conditions? convience? or to mooch? If your prospective gf/bf lives with their parents to jut mooch and be a big kid then no that's a total turn off. If you live with them to help pay the bills ect then no problems. it totally depends on the situation. My hubby moved in with me & my mom when we were dating. We all lived togeather for a few years until we bought our house and started our own family. We also took care of her and tried to monitor her medical needs as well as we paid our 2/3's of the rent and other bills wich made living cheaper for everyone.
• India
16 Apr 09
i agrred urs opinion... thax god to reply it.
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
thank a lot for giving time and responding first in my discussion. my mom and my dad are separated already and my dad have his own family already. so i was helping in a lot of way. i am the first child of 5 siblings and i was the last one to get married. i can say that a sister of mine lives with my mom now and a brother who both have families of their own but sometimes i think they are mooching.
• China
17 Apr 09
Maybe someone feels it is not good to live with Mom at 27 or 30.But I don't think it is bad.Why could not we live with our Mom? Yes,27 or 30 is adult,and we have our own job,our own income,so,in this way,why can not we live with our Mom? We can take care of our Mom. I admire people who live with their Mom when they are not young. Hpappy life every day!
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
well that is cool, and true it is more admirable to see people who lives with their mom and takes good care of them. so i can feel that i am proud of what i did. thanks for those words. i really feel proud after reading your response, thanks a lot for the response
@ellovire (409)
17 Apr 09
hi!! i believe it depends on your country's culture. i know for a fact that in the US and in some countries, you are to live on your own once you reach the age of 18. and living with your folks at the age of 27 is a major turn off, specially if the reason why you are still living with her is because you cannot support yourself financially and still depends on her for some money. maybe because independence is really important to these people. but here in the country where i live in, the Philippines, the close relationship between parents and children is so dominant that living with the parents even if they are already married with kids is not a problem. in fact, elderly here want their children and their grandchildren to still live with them. we emjoy big families. we enjoy being with our loved ones at the end of the day. we have close family ties here. but living with the parents does not mean we depend on them financially. once we graduate from college, or much better even before we graduate, we must look for a job and manage our own finances. we are expected not to depend financially on our parents, even if we live with them.
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
i start to have a work when i was 15, helped at book binding and some basket business. even at the young age i shared what i earn with my mom. so i can say i didnt depend on her so much. when i was 22 i was in a band with my dad and we travelled abroad and i gave my mom a few of what i earned ang bought things for myself as well. i know Filipinos love big families and we are close family ties, but sometimes when all of this are in one roof it is no lonegr enjoyable. i think i enjoy more when we see each other often. i have sibblings are really headaches. har har har
• United States
16 Apr 09
Hey, I see nothing wrong with you living with your mom. I love my mom & if she was alive I might be with her now, LOL!!! I miss her so very much. You are very lucky to have your mother. A person that would think it is a turn off must be up to no good, LOL!!! I understand no one wants a mamas boy who lets their mom come first over everything, but do not ever forget your mom either. I have always kept my moms relationship & my mates relationship separated. I told my husband what I did with my mom had nothing to do with our relationship & vice verse. My husband was jealous of my mom & my mom was jealous of my husband too, LOL!!! But I always told them both each relationship is different & the love I have for each is different too. My mom is my blood & my husband is my soul mate.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
i am no longer living with my mom. that was six years ago already. i miss my mom too but i do go to her palce every once in a while. my wife buys a lot of goodies too when it is my schedule to visit her. i sometimes bring my son and sometimes i dont. sometimes i only use my bycycle so i dont bring my child with me. the relationship of me and my mom is still there, it is better that way than putting my wife and my mom under one roof. thanks a lot for the response
@berp99 (25)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
i dont think its a big turn off for me, it depends upon the situation why a son/daughter at his/her right age is still living with his parents, maybe because for some reasons like if the parents are ill, he/she's the one who will take care of his parents. what is the big turn off for this, dont you think if this is the reason its a big turn on for us and a good points for this person that showing how much he/she really love and care for his/her parents. but what i dont like is mixing the person with a different personalities or perspectives in life, mother in law and daughter in law should not be in the same house, you have your own life you cannot avoid criticism with each other because they are different ,living in a different environment.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
like the first response i get it was said there that as long as you are not mooching on your parents then there is no way this to be a turn off. you sighted a few goodreasons as well. a mother in law and a daugther inlaw is not good if they stay in one roof. sometimes they will the mad too mcuh attention that it will drive the guy crazy har har har. thanks a lot fro the response
@tixepower (1196)
• Sweden
16 Apr 09
This isn't a turn off or on, it's just something that can become a problem if the parents are too annoying asking questions or not liking the girlfriend/boyfriend. I "live" with my mother in papers but in reallity I live with my girlfriend because I'm tiref of my mother and she doesn't like my girlfriend.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
i agree that it is only a turn off if the parents became annoying already. my mom does not like my wife too, so i rather live in a different house than to let them stay in a single roof. i dont like them to be having a family fued everytime. thanks a lot for the response
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
16 Apr 09
Hi se7enthbird, I actually live with my mom and younger brothers, well, not so young anymore but my particular situation, and I'm not justifiyng it, I got separated a couple of years ago. And I don't depend of anybody doing things for me, like cooking, washing, etc., but since I left where I used to live at, I thought at first going to my mom's, I considered it a 'smart' move in order to avoid paying rent and some other expenses. We do help her with whatever it is needed tough. But eventually I'll leave to a place of my own because I liked being independent with my own space, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
i think running back to parents after a separation is the best thing to do. but it is cool also for you to soon find your own place and start all over again with your child. it is a smart move but of course there are some pros and cons on living again with them. thanks a lot for the response hope you can move sooner and start a new page of you life with your child.
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
Sometimes it hard to live with your in laws. I think I depends if the relationship of the in laws to their daughter or son in law is good or bad. When their relationship is harmonious and they get along well it is ok to live with your in laws. For me it is better if you live in the different house so you have privacy and you can do anything that no one make complain.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
i wish i can live with my mom but unfortunately she does not like my wife she has a different girl in her mind that i should marry. i really dont know why there are parents who are like that. well i still have a good relationship with my mom and she loves my son, but she is still cold with my wife. thanks a lot for the response
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
I guess, it depends in the situation. And the reason why she/he is still living with her/his parents. I am already 30 years old now and definitely living with my parents. But you know what? How i wish i can move out and live my own. But i have reason why i cant move out and leave my parents because, the two of them dont want me to leave. They want me to stay with them because i know they need me badly. My father is sick and my mother as well, im the one they can take care of them because my brothers and sisters have their own family and life. And im the only daughter they can depend since im separated and i have my son with me and it would be difficult with me if im going to move out and rent a house to live. So i better stay and live with them.
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
well i thik your reasons are valid and in a hard life that we have right now the the whole world feels it is better to live together for the expences are smaller than if you live in a separete place from your parents. thanks a lot for the response.
@wavelander (1529)
• Portugal
21 Apr 09
My girfriend lives with her grandmother. We bought a house together and we're getting married. I still live with my parents, because during the years i never earn while i was working enough to live on my own.
@happy2009 (330)
• China
20 Apr 09
Hi ,I don't think is a turn on or turn off ,for me is just state the situation.and give the one who date you a chance to choice.wish I was not miss understand.
@checapricorn (16052)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Hi se7, I am family oriented so it will not turn me off..I will appreciate it...We can't judge the person when they live with their parents or whatever, it is always wonderful to know that a particular person have a very great relationship with his or her parents!
@lampar (7591)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Many people choose to live with parent for easier care of their aging parent, not because of he or she is still a baby. If my date doesn't like the fact i live with my mother, then she should go find another man, it is no big deal to me. For me, i am not interested to spend the rest of my life with an unreasonable partner or who has no respect for my mother and is not smart enough to see thing from various angles. It will be a real pain if my wife think marry to me means that i have to hate my own parent and end all my relationship with them, spend all my seconds with her till the day i die. LOL!!!!
@JenInTN (27546)
• United States
18 Apr 09
It would depend on what they said they were doing with their life. I don't think that anyone wants to be alone and some people are more comfortable at home until they are ready to leave. If they aren't doing anything to better themselves it may be a turnoff though. Why doesn't your mom like your wife? She sounds very talented and devoted to you and your son.
@dianmelydia (2271)
• Indonesia
17 Apr 09
I'm living with my mom too. My daddy passed away almost 9 years ago. Since then my mom become a leader in my family. Maybe some of my situations are same with you, but the most different is i'm a woman and you are a man. I think your mom loves you so much and it's hard for her if she must share her sweet heart with other girl in this case is your wife. And it's become harder especially if you are the only boy she has or even the only child she has. However, no matter what's your mom feelings about your wife, she like or dislike her, the fact is your mom is your mom forever. If you decided to live separately from your mom, i can understand it's for they all own good. 'They' refers to both your mom and your wife. Maybe to prevent quarreling between them. But please don't forget your responsibility as her son.
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
It's not a turn off for me.I myself was married to a guy who was and is living with his mom.Unfortunately,the situation is the trigger for our separation.But if you really love a guy or girl it won't matter as long as you understand and respect each other.
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
I'm already 27 years and I still live with my mom and aunt. My dad's already not around since birth and my mom works overseas and comes home annually for two months, so I only have my aunt around. Although I wanted to move out and experience living on my own, I just couldn't do it. The reason? It's just simple: she still needs me and it's just only the two of us at home. Also, I have some relatives who is already in 30's that still lives with their parents.
@HelloMickey (1656)
• Hong Kong
17 Apr 09
Hello se7enthbird It is not rare a man who is not married living with his mum in my country, so I don't think it does matter with me that if he is living with his mum.