That's Just The Way That I Am...
By Stormy
@Little_Stormy (6883)
United States
April 16, 2009 8:17am CST
You have just been insulted by the rudest person you could ever want to meet.... and when you act a little upset by what they just said to you.. they say "I don't mean to be rude, That's just the way that I am".
You are at work and find out that you are stuck the rest of the day with the most hateful piece of breathing flesh (with a name!)ever made... You cringe and accept that the day is just going to suck... As expected this person is obnoxious and overbearing (and at best), self centered and rude.. all day long!
Finally, when ya can't take anymore.. You crack and say something about how their behavior isn't acceptable.. and they reply "Sorry... that is just the way that I am."
Wow, the perfect excuse.. why didn't they say so earlier?? Shoot! THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!! You are now allowed to be rude and hateful and it's all alright because.. "THAT IS JUST THEY WAY THAT YOU ARE!"
Why didn't they tell you this up front so you would not have listened to their smug remarks and ignored them totally?
This has to be the lamest excuse for ANYONE being rude! "That's just the way that I am"? It doesn't make things better.. and No one gives a crap if that is the way that you are! The only thing you are listening to is how they are trying to get out of looking like a total jerk and a rude jackazz! (which doesn't cut it!)
I don't like paying bills! That's just the way that I am! do I pay my bills? OF COURSE! do I like to? NO! But it's the right thing to do and how life works.. I go with the way the plan is set up rather than my desires...
I don't like having to put up with rude people... That's just the way that I am! do I walk away and treat them with disrespect? NO.. I was raised to respect even those who don't deserve it. This is a taught behavior handed down by my parents who wanted me to get along in the world and not look like someone raised by a pack of wild dogs.
A woman, once went inside of a huge building full of people and started shooting them.. killing hundreds before anyone could stop her... When asked many years later why she did it.. her reply was.. "I hate people.. that's just the way that I am!".. did they let her go at that point? I mean, heck! that was just the way that she was! she had no control over her behavior! So what, she killed innocent people in her path for no reason... that is just the way that she is!
however, the judge ruled that she would go to prison for life.. cause.. well..... that is just how the rules are!
I Like eating on the couch in front of the TV.. That is just the way that I am! do I think this is reason for me to do the same when I am invited to some one's home for dinner? NO! because it's rude and I can put away MY preferences for the evening! I am not so feeble minded that I have to have MY way all the time.. I am the master of my behavior... I rule how I act.. not how it rules me! I have intelligence enough to control this feature of my personality.
here is a secret! WE ALL CAN!
I don't understand people who think that this one sentence gives them a license to act however they want! We all are Just like a lot of things, but does that mean we have the right to hurt people? Why do you (just being the way that you are) have the right to step on my feelings? [b]Who gave you that right?
[/b]
You are the master over your own tongue, behavior and emotion.. YOU decide what you say and what you don't.. and control who you are willing to hurt and who you aren't...
NO ONE is so brainless that they can't adjust their behavior around other people! NO ONE!! That sentence doesn't give you the right to act however you want and think it's acceptable.. it doesn't change any one's views of you in the end.. it is a waste of your breath and makes you look like you have the intelligence of a bowl of oatmeal.
Maybe it's just because I have learned that MY feelings and words don't come before someone else's... and that I'm not the pentacle of humankind.. Maybe I have learned to smile through insults and laugh through pain.. maybe.. just maybe I've learned that I can be the bigger person without having to look like a brass, rude talking crap head... maybe it's time to put your excuse to bed.. and stop being so self centered and realize that YOU aren't the only person to please on this earth.. NO ONE IS JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!..stop feeding yourself this lie daily... you are a master of YOU.
If you are going to be a rude, self centered piece of scum.. have the guts to say so...
Nothing makes me madder than hearing some rude azz jerk explain... That's just the way that I am... and think that makes up for everything! it doesn't.. it makes you look like a small minded person who lacks the intelligence and self control... and worse... that your emotions rule you instead of you ruling your emotions.. grow up! take control! and admit that you don't have to be ANY certain way.. you are what you choose to be!
What has your blood boiling today? feel free to jump upon the soap box and shout it out!
13 people like this
28 responses
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
16 Apr 09
ummmm.........yeah...........i jumped on the soap box and nearly broke my ankle when it collapsed!!! 
sorry..........that's just the way i am.
by the way............when i used your bathroom, i peeeeed all over the floor..............yeah...........that's just the way i am.
nobody's pissed me off today yet...........i just woked up.
but i am going to the airport to see the Germans off......so i'll bet i see how a lot of people just are.........which will prolly bring out the just the way i am in me.
*pulls stormy's bra strap back reeeeeeeeeeeeally far and lets it SNAP
back*sorry.........i couldn't help maself...........that's just the way...............well, you know. 
sorry..........that's just the way i am.
by the way............when i used your bathroom, i peeeeed all over the floor..............yeah...........that's just the way i am.
nobody's pissed me off today yet...........i just woked up.
but i am going to the airport to see the Germans off......so i'll bet i see how a lot of people just are.........which will prolly bring out the just the way i am in me.
*pulls stormy's bra strap back reeeeeeeeeeeeally far and lets it SNAP
back*sorry.........i couldn't help maself...........that's just the way...............well, you know.
1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
It's always a good day until I wake up... usually! then some jerk will mess it all up by asking a stupid question like..... what is there to eat? where are my socks? or my personal favorite... MOM! are you still asleep??
*pulls bear's underwear up over the back of his head*
I like when you talk higher like that! it's just the way I am!
2 people like this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Shoot! ya could have done that ages ago if you would have taken those birth control pills I gave ya!
I said there was just a chance that you would grow big boobies and have a period.. just a chance!
1 person likes this
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
16 Apr 09
oooooooh goody now i can sing Supertramp on sing snap. 
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
Blah, blah, blah...... Who the heck flicked YOUR b*tch switch today then? But all that aside, rudeness, arrogance and pure pig headedness are a few of my most despised traits in people. A complete lack of accountability acknowledgement is up there too. You know the kind yes? No matter how obvious it is that they made a mistake, they'll NEVER admit to it and will always explain it away as something else. Wankers. It must be fantastic cruising through life in such a flawless manner and we should all be so lucky!
But all that aside, rudeness, arrogance and pure pig headedness are a few of my most despised traits in people. A complete lack of accountability acknowledgement is up there too. You know the kind yes? No matter how obvious it is that they made a mistake, they'll NEVER admit to it and will always explain it away as something else. Wankers. It must be fantastic cruising through life in such a flawless manner and we should all be so lucky!1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
yeah..... they are a legend in their own mind...... must be wonderful!
My biotch switch was flipped years ago! but I can control it... this is why no one sees it unless I give it the okay to come to the forefront!
2 people like this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
She wore her button out before she hit 2 years of age! hahahah!
that's why I love her soooooo.....
that's just the way that I am! at least when she is being a witch with a capital B.... she admits it with pride... NOW THAT'S A REAL WOMAN for ya! 
3 people like this
@Yatayee (117)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
YEOW! Someone treated you like utter crap today I suppose, and I'm sorry it's been a rough day/week/month for you. I know several of these people. And at times, I'm one of them, sorry to say. But I think they come in two varieties.
I think the ones that bother us are the ones who say "Sorry... etc" but they aren't actually sorry in the first place. This is a lie rubbing salt into the wound of the offensive remark or action. You know what? I think you have every right to immediately retort, "Well no, I don't really think you ARE sorry, because you CHOSE to say/do that knowing it would upset me, and that's selfish and rude." It might be interesting to know their "excuse" once confronted like this.
And then the other group contains people like me. I'm convinced I was born with my foot firmly planted in my mouth. I constantly say and do things that unknowingly offend people, to my utter chagrin. I rarely have any real appreciation of how someone will react. But in contrast, I don't merely pretend it's tough bananas.
I much prefer to apologise. Sometimes I'll then explain that I hadn't meant to hurt them. But not to pretend I'm blameless. I make a mistake, I wear the consequences, even if it's embarrassing to admit that I handled something terribly.
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
EXACTLY! I don't want to hear an idle apology that doesn't mean a thing to anyone.. it's a waste of time, energy and air! no one is without mistakes.. but I believe it's the people who apologize and MEAN it that are the greater of this creation..
I have no respect for low life scum that use idle words and explanations to make themselves look superior! (if only in their own minds!)
great response! thanks!
3 people like this
@tjburcham (690)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Today it's being acused of not doing anything but sitting on this computer all day. I guess they don't count the times I get up hold a baby, feed someone and get them dressed and clean. No that all doesn't count. Even though all anyone else has done is to watch t.v.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
19 Apr 09
BWAAHAHAHAA - why not tell us what you REALLY think? Good for you, and I agree totally! The strange thing I've found is that these rude, ignorant arsers are very, VERY sensitive to having their OWN feelings hurt! If you say one little thing they don't like, they'll carry on like raw prawns - giving you the silent treatment (a GOOD thing!) and acting like spoilt children. They can dish it out, but certainly can't take it! I don't have room in my life for people like that, and avoid them like the plague. If they're in your own family, you have to put up with them - but at least you don't feel bad giving them a piece of your mind every now and then!
1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
19 Apr 09
LOL! the only true gift I ever got.. was the gift to communicate my feelings! or put into words what I am feeling.
ask anyone who ever ticked me off! lol! it actually takes quiet a bit to make me mad but once I'm there.. stand back! :)
I have also noticed the same thing that you mention.. these people who tell us not to wear our emotions on our sleeve or that we are too touchy, are worse than we will ever be! I do have someone in my family that loves using this line of crap "That's just the way that I am" and I've heard it so much from them that it doesn't even phase me anymore... but sometimes..... sometimes.. it's a little too hard to over look.
Thanks for taking the time to respond :)
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Discussions that are too long winded, but I guess that's just how you are.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
18 Apr 09
The community comprises people of different characteristics and behaviour, hence people think, behave and react differently. While it is good for us to be mindful of our manners and behaviour, I would think it also helps if we are mindful that not all people are alike and can fit into our perspective. I have learnt to accept people as they are. Hence, the statement "That's just the way I am" though provoking is not as sinful as being challenged unreasonably.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
20 Apr 09
I hate people who use that as an excuse or the excuse of oh thats just the way i was raised. Or even more so i hate the way people blame others for their actions...not ever taking responsibility for the things they do or dont do.
Honestly so far today though nothing has my blood boiling however I havent had to deal with people thus far.
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
20 Apr 09
well it never fails..... you are in the middle of having a fabulous day and eventually ya have to get out of bed... and some jerk is just waiting to mess up yer day! lol!
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Preach On Sister Storm... You are talking about so many people that I know..and that is the reason that I love to be alone anymore.. Good seeing/hearing you today.. Donna
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Darn it, I should have read this post before I answered all the resplies to my post. Someone asked me why I am such a sour person and I could have said that's just the way I am
I've worked with a few people like you describe. They are never going to change, by the way. That would require some serious thought on their part
I've worked with a few people like you describe. They are never going to change, by the way. That would require some serious thought on their part @Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
you are right.... people like that never change... because they can't keep their head outta their own behind long enough to see the world around them!
you? sour? gee!!! I don't think so! not at all!
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I'd steal your soap box, but you got upset about someone else doing that so I'll just stand next to your box. 
There are plenty of things that have set me off like this in the past. I don't spend much energy on these people. If at a work situation I report them by filing a greivance and let HR handle it, or in my case the Principal. In the case of online or friends I simply walk away from the friendship. Goddess knows I don't need the negativity in my day.
However, that said, my husband and I were just talking the other night about why is it that being the bigger person means being the one to give in. Why not stand up? It happened after watching a Cailou episode with our son and a bigger kid kept taking all of Cailou's toys and being really rude. It was Cailous who had to give in, even though he wasn't the one being ugly. We both looked at each other and thought, no-there is a time when you have to stand up and tell people "Hey, that's inappropriate". Of course, I've dealt with people in the past who just seem to have no brains once so ever and no matter how you tell them turn it all around about "that's just me, if you don't like it leave", so you know what? I leave. I've better ways to spend my time. Even on the work site.
Have a good rest of the night. Namaste-Anora 
There are plenty of things that have set me off like this in the past. I don't spend much energy on these people. If at a work situation I report them by filing a greivance and let HR handle it, or in my case the Principal. In the case of online or friends I simply walk away from the friendship. Goddess knows I don't need the negativity in my day.
However, that said, my husband and I were just talking the other night about why is it that being the bigger person means being the one to give in. Why not stand up? It happened after watching a Cailou episode with our son and a bigger kid kept taking all of Cailou's toys and being really rude. It was Cailous who had to give in, even though he wasn't the one being ugly. We both looked at each other and thought, no-there is a time when you have to stand up and tell people "Hey, that's inappropriate". Of course, I've dealt with people in the past who just seem to have no brains once so ever and no matter how you tell them turn it all around about "that's just me, if you don't like it leave", so you know what? I leave. I've better ways to spend my time. Even on the work site.
Have a good rest of the night. Namaste-Anora @Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I don't converse with these people... and I stay out of their way.. HOWEVER they go through hell to find me.
P.S.. you can stand beside my soap box anytime.. or heck.. just hop on it and have at it!
nice meeting you :)
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
17 Apr 09
It is very nice to meet you as well. I know how you feel, and truly there isn't anything I can say that you don't already know. It can be difficult to ignore when people are mean, or such, however I've found that to be the best way. Then, I surround myself with good friends who can help heal the hurt. Namaste-Anora
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Well, I can't think of any specific instances but if ever I were to say something to a person about their behavior (and I am sure I have) and their response to me was "that's just the way I am" (and I am sure it has happened) I would more than likely reiterate my observation and further qualify it somehow that was appropriate to the situation.
1 person likes this
@minniemadz (499)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
Well, mine's boiling with my officemate. He played music so loud, when he's the only one enjoying his playlist. He's turning the lights off, when he's the only one getting irritated by the light. He's so annoying.
1 person likes this
@flyinglove (167)
• United States
16 Apr 09
i'm very outspoken and often upset or piss people off. i can't say i really care. if they don't want to hear what i have to say, they shouldn't be stupid. so, i guess that makes me a rude azzhole. however, i will tell you that right off. no need to beat around the bush about it. could i change my behavior? yeah, sure. do i want to? HELL NO.
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I think that what they are saying is that only stupid people listen to them.. I dunno *shrugs*
@flyinglove (167)
• United States
17 Apr 09
my husband and friends have no trouble telling me when i am being stupid. the thing is, i don't take it very personally. i don't understand why people get so upset when someone takes them to task. i certainly don't.
as for how do i decide who is being stupid, i suppose everyone has different criteria for this. you have to use your own judgement based on your own opinion, and opinions will differ.
and no, i am not miserable. the friends who "get me" may be few, but they are a very loyal and interesting little group. being me makes it easy to scare off people i don't want to be around, anyway. and the older i get, the fewer and fewer people that is.
i'm one of the happiest people i know, probably because i don't take every little comment or snide remark to heart.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I think you said it all and you said it the best way anyone could say it. I don't think I could top that. I have dealt with people like this though and it can be very annoying to say the least.But I like how you said it "YOU aren't the only person to please on this earth.. NO ONE IS JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!..stop feeding yourself this lie daily... you are a master of YOU. I'll leave the soap box alone right now..cause seems once I get started it is hard to shut me up..lol
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Girl! ya know you always have a spot on my soap box anytime!
just let me know a little before ya start so I can stand out of the way! lol!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I LOVE YOU! lol
I would ask if you work with my SISTER, but she's a stay at home mom, so it can't be her.
I just did a discussion about her a few minutes ago.
I quoted her...she says something similar. She says "I can't change who I am".
But yet, she feels it's her place to comment on how everyone ELSE is all messed up.
I'm shaking my head here while I type about this.
I love your post.
Thank you!
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you :)
I LOVE YOU TOO! hahaha!
There are so many people out there that see everyone else's flaws and proudly announce them and if they can't seem to find any.. they make some up.. it's all about being nasty to make themselves look superior...
It's sad that they think they can change everyone else.. but they can't change their own behavior!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I've heard that so many times! I just respond with, "I know...it is very obvious and also very obvious that you are ok with it." That is pretty much what it comes down to. They are basically telling you that they are aware that they are a rude jerk and they are ok with it. If they were not...they would work on changing the behavior. Oh well...I don't like rude people...just the way I am. Another good one is blaming ones parents for being how they are. Do you know how ridiculous it is when you hear someone nearly 30...blaming their parents for why they are how they are. We are all responsible for our own actions.
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
17 Apr 09
OH! I know what ya mean! I think that is called passing the buck or shifting the blame.. I hate seeing people blame their shortcomings on their parents or difficult life experience.. we ALL have suffered at some point in our life.. we learn, we grow, and we go on! I have seen many successful people who had the worst childhood you could imagine.. and I've seen the opposite.. it's up to US.. not our past.. what we are.
great point! :)
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Little_Stormy! You have put the icing on the cake! I thank you for this discussion! You are right, we all can choose to be the way that we want to be. There is no such thing as, "that is just the way that I am!" No one is capable of doing wrong. They just choose to be mean and nasty. They don't have to be this way. I ask myself this about my mother in-law a whole lot. I mean this woman would say the meanest things that you could ever think of to me. She tried to make me feel bad about myself. She even tried to make me think that I was the one that was doing wrong, when all along it was her. She enjoyed making me squirm and weeze. She has done so much of damage to our relationship, that it is very hard to trust her anymore. I got so tired and fed up of her telling me that she was sorry and that she did not remember what she has done to me. How can you not remember all of the mean things that you have done to someone. She was not drunk! She was just sick in the head! I get tired of all the rude people in this world, they want others to feel sorry for them when they have done wrong. It is not fair that they can just treat someone so wrongly and then say that they didn't mean to do it. They have control over their mouths and attitude. Only them. Not anyone else that they want to blame. I feel so sorry for any rude person that insults another person. It sounds to me like they have a very low self-esteem to be picking on others. It is very sad, but that is just how some people are! They can only change if they want to see change in themselves!
You are right, we all can choose to be the way that we want to be. There is no such thing as, "that is just the way that I am!" No one is capable of doing wrong. They just choose to be mean and nasty. They don't have to be this way. I ask myself this about my mother in-law a whole lot. I mean this woman would say the meanest things that you could ever think of to me. She tried to make me feel bad about myself. She even tried to make me think that I was the one that was doing wrong, when all along it was her. She enjoyed making me squirm and weeze. She has done so much of damage to our relationship, that it is very hard to trust her anymore. I got so tired and fed up of her telling me that she was sorry and that she did not remember what she has done to me. How can you not remember all of the mean things that you have done to someone. She was not drunk! She was just sick in the head! I get tired of all the rude people in this world, they want others to feel sorry for them when they have done wrong. It is not fair that they can just treat someone so wrongly and then say that they didn't mean to do it. They have control over their mouths and attitude. Only them. Not anyone else that they want to blame. I feel so sorry for any rude person that insults another person. It sounds to me like they have a very low self-esteem to be picking on others. It is very sad, but that is just how some people are! They can only change if they want to see change in themselves!@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
My personal feeling about these people are that it is fueled MOSTLY by jealousy... they are jealous and it sends them into a total tailspin.. I used to get hurt by these nasty, unimaginative people until I paid closer attention to what they weren't saying.. the sad fact is that they lack personality and when they come into contact with someone who has one.. jealousy takes over and they spout out nasty comments.. secretly, they want to be you!
thanks for responding :)
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
16 Apr 09
No matter what they say, they do know how to tame it when they are around people they really want to impress. They also know how they feel when someone treats them the same way. They just want a license to be rude and not have to be accountable for it.
@parthu28 (498)
• India
16 Apr 09
it seems there is someone who got you really heated up....
in that case i would advise that just go slap the person call him names and say sorry thats just the way i am.....
i can completely understand how you fell coz my boss is one of those people who are juts like that.......
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
16 Apr 09
LOL! actually, this crap has bothered me for years..
I'm just tired of smiling and pretending it's ok for them to be a pure piece of scum to me.. that's all.
thanks for responding :)
