Is this love or an obsession?

@annierose (18961)
Philippines
April 19, 2009 2:01am CST
Good day to all mylotters. I just want to start this topic because it is bothering me so much.I hope you can give me a help on this one. There is this guy who always send me messages on my email and on my phone. He keeps on insisting his feelings for me even though I already told him for so many times that I do not love him. We were good friends before. He courted my friend for a week and after that, he stop. Whatever the reason, we don't know. He spend more time with me rather than his peers.Although, I am not asking him to go with me whenever I have to go to a certain place, he volunteers himself. I can say that he is kind and very thoughtful those times. But despite all the good things he is showing to me, I not fall in love with him. And whenever there is someone who will courts me, he will show his bad temper and will get upset with me. He told me what he feels and I honestly replied that I cannot love him back. He is courting me for more than two years now and is still not giving up. I don't know what to say. He always disturb me on what I am doing. He always call on phone and he just ignore me everytime I will respond "please don't disturb,I am at work." He is so insensitive and I admit that sometimes I feel somehow scared with him. He keeps on telling me that he is going to be crazy because of me and that he really loves me. Do you think, he really feels love? Or do you think, it is an obsession already? I am having this mix emotions for him. I want to pity him, and get angry and get scared sometimes.What will you do if you were in my place?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@steelkhan (177)
• Sharjah, United Arab Emirates
19 Apr 09
i know you dont love him and i think you will never love him but what if he is really in love with you and you are making the bigest mistake of your life by not loveing him in return, i know someone with same situation but after 3 years there geting married in a few days and amazingly the girl proposed to the guy because the guy after doing what your guy did for you for 3 years stopped seeing and talking to the girl. i think it will happen to you if your guy does the same.
@lvyanyan (42)
• China
19 Apr 09
All the words that i said is my own opinion.If i were you,i will not give him any reply.Though he is a good guy,he loves me,I do not stay with a man who i do not love him,that is unfair to both of us.Love is mutual.I will tell him that we could be good friends.
@annierose (18961)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi lvyanyan, I already told him that we can be good friends but he keeps on insisting his feeling and I can say this thing makes me suffer a lot because I really not love him.
• China
20 Apr 09
I could understand you,but usually we aslo do not want to hurt anybody though we do not love him, do we? Maybe he will give up when he find the proper girl. Good luck to you!
@gracie04 (4554)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
Well, it seems that guy is obsessed with you.. he's kind of freaky.. if i were you i would keep a distance from him.. just try to ignore him if you are already feeling irritated about the things he keeps doing to make you feel special.. you know, he doesn't have the right to stop people/guys from courting you because he isn't your boyfriend.. yay! just end the friendship if you don't want to be bothered by this freaky guy anymore..
@annierose (18961)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi gracie, I agree with you. He is not my bf and he doesn't have the right to act that way when there is someone courting me. I am no longer giving him any attention. I just want him to stop on chasing me.
@srganesh (6344)
• India
19 Apr 09
Well,I think,he wants to dominate you in the name of love.And you seem to be in dilemma about the feelings you have for him.If you don't love him and feel irritated by his behaviors,you should have broken his friendship by now.Or if you have soft corner for him,you should have started loving him.It is high time for you to decide what to do next.It is clear that he wants you,out of love or obsession.You have to clear yourself to continue or break.Do either one thing.Don't let the situation worsen more.Cheers!
@annierose (18961)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi srganesh, Thanks for responding. Its just so sad that after all the time we went through being friends,I have to end this one.I don't have any space for him in my heart and I cannot teach it to love him.
• United States
19 Apr 09
from your description it sounds like something that started off as love but grew into an obsession. My advice to you is that you need to be very careful because these types of things can become dangerous. You need to be very firm with him and tell him that if he doesn't stop that you will break off all contact with him, tell him that he scares you. If he still doesn't stop then I think at that point maybe calling the cops and getting a restraining order would be a good idea because above anything you want to keep yourself safe.
• India
19 Apr 09
hi give ur mail id i will also send...then u will understand what it is.. bye luv shek india
• China
19 Apr 09
According to your accounts, I think he is some kind of freaky. If you do not love him, then just stop the relationship. Just make you thoughts clearly understood,which will be good for both of you.