How do you deal with life?

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When life gets hard, or you have a traumatizing experience, how do you deal with it? Do you have healthy ways to cope with these things, or do you find yourself turning to unhealthy and self dictructive ways? I find that the healthy ways of coping are too unfamiliar for me. It takes me too far out of what I know to be a feeling of "home". I don't mean home as in the place where I live. But a feeling of home as in a feeling of complete safety and security. It's where nobody can touch me because I feel settled in to where I need to be. If I were to try any of the healthy methods, it would rattle up my feeling of home, the little settlement I have in myself. I would like to know if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this, and would like to hear which way you deal with it. Thanks for sharing!