My fight with one of my best friend at mylot.com, I am very sorry to her.

@sanuanu (11235)
India
April 20, 2009 8:25pm CST
because it was my fault which lead us into a big fight. She is so angry on me that she doesn't want me to come to her discussions ever and vice versa. I won't state her name but it was started when she expected me to be her referral and I pretended that I will be one but the truth was that I already was registered with the site. Yes, it was my faulth. And when I said that I can't be her ref, she was like crying and asked me not to come to her discussion ever. I hope she will come here and see my appologies. The problem with mylot friends are that we can't show our emotions while chatting. Not even with smileys and the other thing is that I am not very good at appologization. I am saying sorry for 1000(one thousand) time and hope that you will forgive me. Please.
10 people like this
39 responses
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
25 Apr 09
Hi sanuanu, why not you tell her the truth! This is a normal emotional respond after knowing that a good friend here had cheated her. I think she won’t get angry even if you don’t want to be her referral, as long as you could tell her you are an exist member of that site. Luckily that you didn’t reveal her name here, if not she would be more irritated I think she is an understanding gal and would never force others to be her referral. Hopefully she would feel better after seeing your sincere apology here and be friend again with you as before. Anyway time would cure the unhappy matters. Don’t forget, we are here to have fun. So it is nice and wonderful to see everyone to get together harmoniously like brother and sister here. Happy posting and take care.
3 people like this
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
27 Apr 09
Really, we would feel uneasy if we have done some fault. Anyway we are outliers here only. We know only what you have told us here and don’t know the rest of the business. We are outsiders and could only give you some ideas and feeling upon the fighting matters. Only the two of you could get the problem solved. Anyway time will heal everything, including the feeling of sorry. The little sadness will become little little and lit ..... tle .. Very soon it will vanish unconsciously. You all will then laugh at what had happened before.
3 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
27 Apr 09
Yes, the feeling might go away but the lesson which I learned must not be forgotten by me. Now a days, I am a little cautious with my posting and do post after I read and understand the feeling of that user. I also try not to cross the limit!
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
25 Apr 09
Yes, that was my mistake and I am very sorry about that but this was not the only thing which have happened between us. I am respecting her feelings as well as emotions and I had a talk with her. She isn't angry with me but she is upset. I have told her the truth and appologized to her too. It is all fair if she don't choose to come out because after all it is her life and I can't interfare in her life but indeed there will be a little sadness in my heart. Anyway, good lesson learned!
1 person likes this
@scififan43 (2434)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I hate to hear that you had an arument with one of your friends here. I hope that you can mend things up with that person. Have you tried to presonal messige her? well good luck.
3 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
I can't message her because she has kicked me out of her friends list. No, friends no pms and no way to get to her. Only way is to either let the time do the trick or me searching for some of her friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 09
I see, maye she will come back around to you after some time.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
Well, all I can say is that this is absurd. Fighting over referrals. Whew! How low could you get? Don't take it too personally. Things like these aren't worth crying about.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
Yeah, you may be facing a lot of problems in your life but hey, this is only an online friend, God knows you've only talked to her here and not even spent enough time getting to know each other. Plus hey, the conflict is too petty - referrals? oh come on!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Apr 09
Exactly laydee! How low could you get? Isn't that the truth. Good grief, there's so many other things to be worried with. Gee, get over it already.... This is so ridiculous! Her friend is acting very childish....
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Thank you my laydee for coming here and providing me some help. I really appreciate that my friend. So, I am also facing some problem in my life as you are, isn't it?
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
It was very awful of you to have lied to a friend like that. I think it would be easier for your friend to forgive you if you told her (personally) why you did lie to her and made her believe that you will sign up as her referral. If you don't have any real reason for it then just apologize and do something nice ... like respond to all of her discussions and have an "im sorry" in the end of every response or something :P Thanks for the response on my discussion!
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
Thank you very much for the very nice suggestion. I would try and responding her every discussion with an I am sorry signature. Thank a lot pal!
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
May be you are right because now I am getting dissapointed and my anger is becoming strong. I am a little short towards patience and don't think that I can keep on trying for any longer!
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
If you REALLY want her to forgive you then you have to be nice towards her and that includes doing sweet things - constant apologies is an effort that many women recognize as sincerity from guys. You may find it pointless, but you're at least doing something about it. But if you're short on patience and you think she's not worth it, you can just stop right now. But to actually make a discussion for her, I thought you at least cared enough to try harder.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Apr 09
Sanu- I'm very sorry you are experiencing this. It's hard, I know, but it's almost the instant karma of having not told her the truth from the get go. Perhaps she would have been more understanding if you had simply told her up front "Hey, I'm already on, but I'll help you by responding to all of your threads". At least that would get her noticed, because you have loads of friends on your list. Hopefully she'll forgive you. Sometimes the anger just has to be given time to subside when friends are angered with one another. I hope she'd also realize that this place is so large that if she wants to further her discussions it's nice to have lots of people answering whose friends may see her threads and respond as well. Namaste-Anora
3 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
Well, I have told her that even if she comes to my discussion or not I will be responding to her discussion but she mistook it and said, "Ok! You don't want me to come to your discussion then I will not come to your and you should also avoid my discussions!". Well, since English isn't my native language, I sometime feel that it is difficult to make others understand what I wanted to tell them! Thanks for your condolence, I hope she will not be angry on me for a long time!
2 people like this
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
21 Apr 09
Oh no, sanuanu. That is so sad. At least you did admit that you were wrong. That was the start. Saying sorry was the next thing. But from what you are saying this friend might have expected too much from you and over reacted. It does take 2 to have a fight. And you are a real man to say it is my fault and I'm sorry. For me, personally, I don't expect any one to be my referral for any of my sites. If people join using my links, it is because they want to earn for themselves and not because they have to. I never expect too much from people. Just be honest. If you can't join because you are already a member of a site, you can't join. That is the only thing I would ask of you is to just be honest. It would be the only thing I would expect from people even though I know that people do lie. And you know what I mean.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
yes, it could be true but she said in the post that "She is okay if I can't be her referral, but again I appologized to her before saying that I cna't be her referral. There is one more thing I think that should have been quoted which I came to know later that she mis understood my words on another discussion. I was sayng that I love her discussions very much and I would reply to her wether she would come to my discussion or not! She thought that I am asking her not to come to my discussions! I don't know if this was said, on the reaction of the ref thing or not!
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
well, only time can tell the future. She had deleted my name frm her friends list and I am not going to invite her again as I want her to do that for me. I think she would delet my friends request when i will send her one! what do you think?
1 person likes this
• Australia
21 Apr 09
That is good news. I hope that you both can work on it. I would rather see happy people or happy news instead of sad people or even sad news.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
30 Apr 09
sorry for cut at both of you discision,sanu. but i think this discussion that makes she more scare of you. i am not yet friend of she, but i am patient. this comments makes all worse baby. so sorry .. i will stop after tis. not between you anymore. sorry bro. peace. mylot fun!
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
30 Apr 09
My intention was only to make appologies towards her, I didn't know how hard I took it when she was crying over my discussion. Well, you can call me a little sensitive but that's the I am! I thought that it was my mistake and I should make appology. People here at mylot know nothing about it and my reaction to them was only towards their feeling. I know that you know about me and her fight(!), which is now resolved and I am a little ashamed of myself too but the good thing is that I didn't mention her name! Some of them said, that I am over reacting, some said that she is over reacting but my intention only was to make appology that's all. I never expected that people would come firing at this discussion. That also I did because she deleted my name from her friends list and asked me not to come to her discussison. Second, I tried to comment on my response but she was not replying to me. May be I was little short in patience but ... It is all right that you choose to be a step or two away from me, I don't have any problem with that because I have never had any fight with you, neither we were friends but when it happened with her, we were friends and I can't stand tears! Sionarra!
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Apr 09
i hope y'all get everything worked out. we don't need to lose friends anywhere. good luck.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Apr 09
i hope so to. it's sad to be cross ways w/friends.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
yes, friends are like gem and I would not like to loose one and that too when I am seeing it getting lost but I can't do anything. I hope she will make a trip to this discussion and would say a happy friendship word again!
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Apr 09
i hope so to. it's sad to be cross ways w/friends. i agree
2 people like this
@dropofrain (1167)
• India
22 Apr 09
I know it is really difficult to respond in such a situation. I think what you can do is that try and be normal to her and over the time TIME is going to be the biggest heal for both of you. These kind of fights do happen between friends, so dont worry and pretend normal to her.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
23 Apr 09
Yes, I am giving time to it as I also belive that time is the best healer in this situaions. Thanks for dropping by pal!
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Hello sanuanu! Well, I can tell how much you really regret what you did and I can tell how much you really treated her as your true friend. If it happen to me, I will not be angry with you actually. I mean, it's not a big deal to me. But like what others said, she is not me and I am not her. That's what they call individual differences. She's the kind of a sensitive person and that's what we have to be careful about. Just apologize to her and someday she will be okay.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
24 Apr 09
Thank you very much pal! I don't like fight either
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Oh, if it isn't you and you aren't she, so fight with us and let time be an umpire in this match. I really hope that she comes back becaue I want to see her happiliy smiling in my dsicussions again!
• United States
23 Apr 09
I am not here to fight..hehehe..
2 people like this
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
21 Apr 09
life is to short to loose a friend over this.try to talk to her and let her know you will miss her if she is not here with you on my lot. i am sure she will responde to you in a positive way.this is to petty to stand in the way of your friend ship.
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Huh? I am glad that I didn't fall in love with any girls at mylot. They are just too sensitive, don't they?
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
Just continue making positive comments to her discussions and later she will realize your friendship is more important than being a referral. Avoid negative comments first, she might misunderstood you.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Friendship is patient. If you really want her friendship, you will do whatever it takes to gain back her trust.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
27 Apr 09
I think I hae done my part and it is up to her now that she accepts me as her friends or not!
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
May be and now I am not in her friends list too. Now on I have to visit her profile to get her discussion to make comments or response. Thanks for responding pal!
2 people like this
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
Hope everything went well with your friend here in myLot. Just ask apology so that she will be at peace and can be able to understand your side. Well, from what I read from your explanation it's not really a big deal cause with your fight, it is just a slight thing to be angry of. If I were her, I will forgive you but please be honest the next time so that people still trust you in the future. Yes, too bad we cannot express what we are feeling with sending emoticons and all because there's still a big difference when talking in person. My best advice is try to send her an email, detailing your apology and explanation why such thing occur. I am sure she can understand and everything will back to normal with your friendship.
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
23 Apr 09
As she was friend from mylot, I don't have her email id with me and she has removed me from her friends list too! So, it that difficult mailing her. The only thing I can do is to make her feel good by making responses to her discussions!
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
Well sanu you are right just give her sometime its just an initial reaction she felt for you ,since you lied to her. But I think that is not permanent coz if she really consider you as a friend, she wont make this last permanently you will see, in time you and her will be ok and I pray that one of this day you will be ok with her again. hope you are ok yourself my friend and dont blame yourself too much we are only human we make mistakes.... have a good day...:)
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
Well, I can see you are using OK three times in your post so, I think I am fine now. I hope that your prayer comes true and she invites me to be her friend again!
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
ok i am happy you are ok then lol well good luck my friend.
2 people like this
@Bionicman (3958)
• Czech Republic
21 Apr 09
I think she's overreacting. Being angry over such a thing is pretty ridiculous and selfish.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Apr 09
I won't call her a selfish but it was me who started it so, it must be me who should be ending the story but for that I need to buy her time and ask her to see my appology!
1 person likes this
• Israel
21 Apr 09
I don't understand why she got upset. It's only internet, and you can't let your emotions get over your head because of someone who let you down over the web. Specially when it's about that silly reason of being someone refferal. Come on, take it easy!
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
The interesting thing is that she is the first lady to go upset with me on mylot. I was surprised to see that she was crying over her every comment on my response and was pleading to me to not to respond her discussions.
@eztuner (450)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Friends, that want to oblige me to do things I could hardly called them "friends", I do not understand why you feel so sorry, if you miss her as your friend try to get a new one.
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Yes, ultimately, I will have to find another friend here and I don't even have to work hard for that. I can make friends easily at mylot but it is not good to have one who doesn't like me. I mean she questioned my star rating too! I am surprised that she didn't start a discussion on me having a fight with her!
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
21 Apr 09
It was your mistake because you cheated her in a way. But why dint you tell her when she told you about the site, you should have told her that you are already registered with that site. And she is wrong because she should not be angry on such a small thing. You have to tolerate some stuff in life to go on.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Yes, I should have but I had forgotten that I was already a member with that site! It was a shame for me to have a fight on that small issue but we can't change things which already happened in our life.
1 person likes this
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I don't believe what you did should be unforgivable, though it must have been very disappointing. I can understand your friend's anger, but hopefully once she has cooled off and had time to process it, she will conclude it is not worth throwing away the whole relationship over this situation. It was very noble of you to apologize, especially publicly. We all make mistakes and sometimes we just use poor judgement in dealing with our friends but that is why forgiveness is so powerful. It can help to heal our hurts.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
Okay! At first I thought that you are saying that I will not get a forgiveness from her side. I hope your good wished goes and whispers her ear and she makes a come back to my profile again!
@plddre79 (161)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Refusing to forgive others when there is a basis for mercy can adversely affect our own relationship with god . God expects us to forgive one another. Then we can pray that he will forgive us.
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
22 Apr 09
yes, that is what i am telling her. I mean how many times she needs me to apollogize in front of her. Please come back.