Are you close to your family?
By Tamarama34
@Tamarama34 (240)
Canada
April 21, 2009 7:27pm CST
My family and I used to be very close.
We always had family get togethers on holidays and it was always great.
Then things changed.
I grew up, moved out, had problems, moved back in, then when my two kids hit 3 and
4, I was suddenly ousted from the family get togethers.
My dad who I lived with would get invited, but I'd be stuck at home with my kids
and nobody else.
(Later I was told this was because they couldn't handle the kids, but now the
grandparents are older with new grandkids and they see them quite frequently)
When I moved down here with my sister, she told me it was so we could spend
holidays, etc together...yeah right.
We did that for all of maybe two of the 5 years I have lived here.
She makes arrangements months beforehand, then when I ask her to come for a dinner,
she can't because she has already made plans.
It used to bother me alot when we were living in the same house and they'd make
arrangements without us, knowing how important I think family should be and now I
haven't got that close family relationship.
This year I knew nobody would come or call and so we made arrangements of our own
and like usual, they pretty much fell flat.
We had an easter dinner the week before with my daughter and a friend, then we were
going to have another one after easter, but my daughter got into trouble and wasn't
around and our one friend cancelled so it was only the three of us.
(my hubs, our friend and I)and what a shock...nobody even called.
My son never called, grandparents didn't call, dad and stepmom never bothered
either, so I didn't call any one of them.
So, I was just wondering how many of you are close to your families and how many of
you aren't?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@sonrisa42 (69)
• United States
23 Apr 09
I have had times in my life that I have been close to my family and other times when I have not. At the moment my family and I do not do too many things together or get together for holidays as they are of different religious beliefs and do not celebrate holidays as I do. I do have my daughters and friends with which I get together and this would be my advice to you. Start your own circle and in a sense, your own family. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Friends, neighbors can all be part of your group and in a sense your family. Could be that there are other people in your own neighborhood going through the same thing you are and could use an adoptive family sort of say to spend time with, especially during the holidays which seem to heighten the sense of loniless in those who do not have someone to celebrate with. Yes it's not your own blood but so what. We have but one life and you are given a choice, you can brood over your situation or you can do something about it and create nice memories. I am really sorry that your family has treated you in the manner that they have, no one deserves that.
Take Care and Blessings to All
@sonrisa42 (69)
• United States
23 Apr 09
Hun, that is a wonderful idea and just think of all the people who would benefit from something like that. I will keep you and your idea in my prayers and that it is successful.
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
I try that and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but you have given me a
wonderful idea.
"Adopt a Family" campaign.
What do you think?
People can come from all over the city and put in there names if they want to
celebrate a holiday with others or if they just need some friends to go out for
coffee with or even just go for a walk and dont want to be alone.
All people would be screened of course.
It's juast a thought right now, but what do you think of the idea?
@shirley183 (252)
• China
23 Apr 09
Wow,Tamarama,i found your socalled family member is so hateful,i can't believe what they do as your family.Family is the place that alway give you supposed and affection,i think.So i'm so lucky.I work outside my hometown,just myself.I connect with my family on telephone everyday,sometime we're on videophone.Every festival we spend time together if i can spare time.
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
Yeah, my family isn't the greatest, but I suppose it isnt as bad as some families
can be.
It sounds like your family is pretty good and is there for you when you need them
to be.
Thanks for you response :))
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
22 Apr 09
I would try to make the first step and keep contacts. If it is hard to meet I would try to call or send a card. I have a close family and we do have strong ties. The closeness of our island does help us to be close but it depends on the individuals to keep their relationship going.
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
I truly agree with you on this one.
I find that smaller communities are closer than larger ones for the most part.
There are exceptions to the rule obviously, but seriously, think about it.
Villages, Islands, little farm towns...you usually see the family living together
or houses of families living all on the same plot of land (usually for many
generations)
Thank you for your response :))
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
22 Apr 09
I use to be real close with my brother but since i moved from florida to south carolina my dad stopped talking to me which ok thats him I am 42 an you know with the way peol are loosing thier jobs my hubby was offered a great job in law enforcement so we went the kids love it here I have always loved it here but with my dad not talking to me causs problems between my brother an of course my mom sticks u for my dad I am only 8 hours away from them an yes I go to vist but if I go to vist my dad dont' want me at his house I have to go to the store my mom works at to see her when I asked what his problem was she said I stole an lied to him when i repeat what the f### she said I took his heart by moving away an I supposely said I would never move away that is where the lying comes from I try not to let it bug me but it dose but I am real close to my sister in nh I talk to her a least once a week an my other 2 brothers we I am sorry to say strangers but I know I miss them all
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
It sucks that your family has fallen apart.
It is never easy.
I hope things work out a little bit better for you.
Thank you for your response.
@gerard09 (75)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
Yes. I am very close to my family. I love family. I couldn't afford to lose them in my life. Typically, we celebrate important dates/events in our lives such as anniversaries, birthdays, christmas, new year and many more. Then we also have our annual family get together. Generally, we go to an out of town trip with the whole family and relatives(mother side). If we have tribulations or whatever we always try to work things out.
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
It's great that you have that close family bond.
I'm also happy to hear that you do try to work out family differences as well.
Thanks for your response :))
@jmurphyjr (2)
• United States
22 Apr 09
Unfortunely my family is not close enough. So now that I have children I am going to make up for lost times. I am trying really hard to make sure that now, with current future family that we all stay close. I want my kids to grow up with a close family connection. I sure wish I was able to, but it never worked out. Another thing that didn't help was the fact that all relatives were so scattered throughout the world. Hard to get together, way to expensive, especially now and days, to do any kind of traveling. Hopefully one day soon, things will go down in price and traveling and getting together will be easier.
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
I hope that you end up with that close family tie that you wish for.
Yeah, the economy is really bad right now for travel.
I'd love to visit my family up north a bit more often as my kids, parents,
grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc are almost all up there, but I can't
afford to get a lift there and I don't drive.
Thanks for your response :))
P.S. I noticed that you are fairly new here so welcome to mylot.
A little tip, make sure you respond to many discussions (including your own or
comments you get) and do alot of discussions.
Posting pics help out too.
The biggest thing is make sure that you double space like I have as they only pay
for 4 lines or more.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
22 Apr 09
i would say yeah my family and i are pretty close. excpt with one brother no one in the family is close to him.
but we often get together for birthdays or hoildays.
and i am even close to my wife side of the family as well
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
That sounds really nice.
I wish we still had that, but I am more like the brother you have that nobody is
close too.
It's nice that you are close to your wife's family as well.
You don't see that very often.
@wisan_jaya (127)
• Indonesia
22 Apr 09
I used to close to my family. But since i get more busy with my work, i do not get really close to them again. I spent a lot of my time outside of my house. I seldom talk to them anymore.
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
23 Apr 09
I'm sorry to hear about this.
Yeah, sometimes life can get in the way.
Sometimes life (work, school, etc) overwhelms family life and its not really fair,
but what can you do?
Thanks for your response.
@Soteira (75)
• United States
22 Apr 09
My family is very close and always has been. Even after I moved away we're still close. We take turns making trips to visit each other. I'm close with extended family also, cousins, great aunts and uncles etc. Family has always been important to us.
Tell your family how you feel about the distance between you. Communication is important with family too and sometimes it takes work and time to stay close with them.
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
22 Apr 09
Wow.
Your family sounds great.
I'd have to make the trip to see them all of the time and I don't drive yet.
I have told them how I feel and they don't care.
I'm somewhat the black sheep of the family so to speak.
Thanks for the response :))
@marguicha (215707)
• Chile
22 Apr 09
I have the kind of family that is clannish. Just as to give an example, my parents, my brother and I live in 3 houses in a plot we divided. So we are side my side. Each has his own house nad life but we are near if we are needed. My daughters live at 5 and 10 minutes driving from me. At birthdays and Christmas everyone is there. Christmas is one year at one of my daughters, the next at the other´s.
take care
1 person likes this
@Tamarama34 (240)
• Canada
22 Apr 09
That is really good.
I wish I still had that. :))
Thank you for responding.
