I have Blackmailed my friend

April 24, 2009 5:24pm CST
I recently discovered a deep secret that my pregnant friend was hiding. Her pregnant child is not her husband's. It belongs to her boss. Now I was aware of her affair with her boss and I did advice her to end it but she didn't end it. She had told me that it was over but in actually fact she was still continuing with this affair. So when I discovered the identity of her baby's daddy, I was mad at her for lying to me so I decided to punish her for disloyalty to me so I indulged into blackmailing her and her boss. The two became my slaves and whenever I snap my fingers they would not hesitate to attend to me because they knew that one word out of my mouth would destroy them both..But now I feel so sorry for her and her boss because I have tormented them.. The secret is still safe with me but now I am so filled with guilt that I'm tired of carrying this secret and I just want to let it out.. The worst part is my friend's husband and I are very good friends.. in fact he's one of my best friends as I introduced him to my friend. Everytime I look at her I feel horrible and i dont know what to do.. if i blab this out, I will lose two dear friends. If I keep this secret it will kill me... so what am I to do? Should I still continue blackmailing them or should I be a friend that supports my disloyal friend?
4 people like this
22 responses
• Canada
24 Apr 09
Oooh how scandelous, haha. Well honestly, I think you should tell this husband. I would never want someone going through life thinking that a child is theirs when it isn't. Plus you absolutely cannot build a family on lies like that. It's so wrong to bring a child into such a negative environment. This guy is going to figure it out eventually. I think it's best for him to know now, than to find out 8 or 9 years down the road. It will be better for everyone to just get it all out in the open before it gets any more intense. And if you don't want to straight up tell him, write an anonymous letter to him letting him know the info, and suggesting a DNA test when the child is born.
2 people like this
24 Apr 09
Easier said than done my dear! You are right though that the husband should know. If I do tell him he will definetly be mad at me for keeping it so long from him.. I have known about it since she was four months pregnant. She is 8 months pregnant now so I guess if I have to tell him I will have a month left to do it before the baby arrives.. but either way I'm in a deep dark pit..
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Well whatever you plan on doing.... you don't got long... because if she is planning on letting her husband raise the baby as his own, then yeah, I guess he should know ASAP... It is scandelous for sure....
• United States
25 Apr 09
You shouldnt have lowered yourself to blackmail these people. And it isnt any of your business to be telling on anyone. I understand you are friends to both of these people, but true friends dont blackmail eachoter let alone keep scandalous secrets. Mind your own business and stop blackmailing people. She will tell him when the time comes and when shes ready. If he is a true friend he will understand the tough spot you were in and Im sure he wont blame you for any of it. The problem is between them. You got yourself involved. Just stay out of it.
25 Apr 09
Yes I admit I was wrong. I guess it was my anger that drove me to do such stupiness.. and you are right that I should mind my own business. Funny thing is I've never done anything like this before to anyone so I feel quiet stupid really.. At the moment I'm only encouraging her to spill the truth.. I'm too chicken to tell the husband so I'll lay low..
@blue65packer (11834)
• United States
25 Apr 09
No matter what you do I think the husband will find out or probaly already knows about the affair and the baby isn't his! Anyway I think you are screwed no matter if you tell the truth or not! I believe you will lose both friends if they aren't understanding wy you did what you did! I glad I'm not in your shoes!
2 people like this
25 Apr 09
yes I know am totally screwed.. I was wrong to blackmail her but I did it out of anger.. Now I am encouraging the wife to tell him because i dont think its in my place to do so...
• India
25 Apr 09
it is better you should advice your friend [wife] to reveal the secret to his husband. the reaction of her husband might not be peaceful.some time it may break the family.even though it will be right chioce.if she was allied to her boss,she should live with him. i think it should the right way..
@mira91 (986)
• Singapore
25 Apr 09
I know she really MESSED up real bad but you just said she was one of your dear friends..I can't seem to grasp the idea of anyone blackmailing someone they call their dear friend..She is your bestfriend too right? She made a mistake and now she has to facethe consequences which means she has to tell her husband about the baby. And you blackmailing her isn't helping at all..So of course you should stop it, you shouldn't have done it in the first place. Nevertheless, you shouldn't be the one to let it out to her husband. She was responsible for this, it was her mistake and now she has to face the msuci no matter how horrible it is..Everyone had choices before they chose to go with the wrong ones. Hope you'll do what's right. Good luck.
2 people like this
@kprofgames (3099)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Let me get this straight. You and the husband were friends, you introduced him to his now cheating wife and she met your boss - how? Guess it doesn't add up if she is a stay at home mom or do you work with her husband too? Sorry, just a lot of gaps here.
1 person likes this
25 Apr 09
No no he's not my boss.. he's her boss. Both cheating wife and husband are my dear friends..
• United States
25 Apr 09
Under another responder you said she was a housewife so that confused me on who was working where.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Apr 09
???????? I just caught on to that also... In the comment above you said she was a housewife... but if she has a boss, she gets a paycheck, right? Something isn't right with this story...
@sblossom (2169)
24 Apr 09
I think you should be still silent with the secret. One day your friend would find it out, he would need your help. Then you are ready to help the couple. For the time being it's too cruel to tell the truth. Also I don't think you are the right person to do it. Take it easy. It's not the end of the world.
1 person likes this
24 Apr 09
Yes actually for the moment i'm not saying anything.. I agree with you that it is too cruel for the truth to come out.. But at the same time it isnt fair for the husband..
1 person likes this
@sataness (321)
24 Apr 09
But still... stop blackmailing them
1 person likes this
@sataness (321)
24 Apr 09
Tell the husband... but.. Stop blackmailing them O.O! I know their affair is wrong, but don't you just lower yourself to that kind of seedy secret through black mail? They may hurt her husband.. but maybe their emotions for eachother are pure? in which case you're fiddling in people's lives that doesn't necessarily affect you. Tell her husband, it's wrong for her to keep the affair, and then the child a secret from him. He'd proberley find out one day later on... but shouldn't he be given the right to choose what he wants to do? They've been playing forbidden lovers too long, it's time the truth should out before it's too late. I don't know if i should suggest not telling him who she's having an affair with. That way he can confront her with the truth, but force her to relate her secret life. Plus - he then isn't likely to kill the guy as soon as he finds out. Happy Mylotting x
1 person likes this
24 Apr 09
the problem is if i tell the husband, he will definetly leave her and she will have no place to go. She's a housewife with two other kids with her husband. If i tell she will surely be a homeless pregnant woman.. he's a very tempermental guy and this sort of news would just make him want to kill her and him.. So if I do say anything i will be begin to meddle too much and I will be at fault for letting my one friend have nothing and my other friend being mad at me and possibly never speaking to me again... So.. I will share the blame and fault...
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Apr 09
jelly - well she could start looking for a job & get her crap together... because sooner or later the truth will come out & she needs to be ready... also, she will have childsupport from her 2 kids & the other as well from her boss... its time she does something because living with the guilt & lies is more un-healthy.
@prinzcy (5036)
• Malaysia
25 Apr 09
Wow, so full of drama. Well, either way things will be bad for both of your dear friends once the secret is spill. For me, I would advise the wife to end the relationship. Even the baby isn't his, she should stop the affair and feel guilty. If she refuse to listen, then I'll find another method. I can tell the husband using hints. Now I feel like a drama.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
That must so hard for you. If I were in your situation I would gone for a while. But before that I would make a letter to my friend couple stating that I love both of them and there's nothing I can do to ruin their lives.
1 person likes this
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
25 Apr 09
Well, I must say you did wrong instead of warning them and telling them to mend their ways, you blackmailed them.You should have warned the two when they started carrying this illicit relationship or let the poor hubby know about it but now, she is carrying her boss's baby, this makes things even more complicated.Just talk with her first, why she cheated on her husband since you know her better than her husband.What she plans to do now?End the relationship with her husband or carry on with the boss.Then decide what to do.Whether to tell her husband, your friend or leave the matter as it is.If she is repenting for her mistake and promise not to repeat it again, then you should re-think and zip your mouth.Better she should be the one to confess her crime.She had really mess up her married life.Have a good day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
Big problem. I advice you to tell the news to your friend, the hubby of your friend. I had never been a situation but I know when the conscience work it creates a big problem not only to the mind but also emotionally. If you will not say the truth to the husband it means you are part of that secrets because it seems you are much more concern on the sinners rather than your bestfriend. Say it and end this trouble. The truth will set you free.
@cahyorini (315)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 09
How about yell your friend's husband to find out the truth by himself, tell to take a few time to watch his wife, but don't ever tell him that he's know from you. So, let the time reveal the truth about this. Because, how long you keep this secret, then how long you have this sins on you.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 09
Stop blackmailing them. I would encourage her to do the right thing. A real friend would be honest with their friends. I would not get involved. But I would talk to her about doing the right thing. It will probably end up blowing up in her face and will be worse if she lies and hides it and it comes out anyway.
@nv_jenn (207)
• Canada
24 Apr 09
I think you're absolutely wrong for blackmailing. That's not what friends are supposed to do to each other. Regardless if she lied to you about the affair it really isn't your concern whether she is telling the truth or not. The only thing you have to decide is whether or not to tell her husband or not. She also should have thought about her husband leaving her and having no place to live when she was running around with her boss. You have to choose which friend you are more loyal to and stick to that side or tell your friend you don't want to know anything.
1 person likes this
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
blackmailing was low... if i was in ur situation, i'd had stopped the friendship the day i found out my friend was lying to me about having said she stopped the affair with her boss. i dont know if i can tell the husband about the baby, (i wouldnt want myself to be the cause of a broken marriage even though it is really not my fault), but i would sure distance myself from the wife. i would rather let the husband find out about it, and then be there to give moral support... boy this is really hard. i've been to something like this, but the people involve were not that very close to me, but it wasnt a secret, the only who dont know what was happening was the wife... but it was still horrible, everytime i talk to the wife, i know something she doesnt know, but i dont want to tell her as it may destroy her marriage. well she did found out, from another friend who blurted it all out to her. and it almost ended her marriage.
@Archie0 (4667)
25 Apr 09
Well i think you should tell this to her husband but also see that later on it should hurt your life as may be the boss will try to get the revenge somehow because after you telling him, the situations are going to be worse. because may be the husband dont believe you or he may be mad at you infact. or may be the woman gets indulge into some acts like trying for sucide and all, and it might make you more guilty too. i think you should take any step thinking hundred times before doing it.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Blackmailing someone is just dirty & low, you should stop. It's un-healthy & sooner or later they will just get tired of it & you will just lose everything you have in them as friends. As for the whole thing about your friend having an affair & being pregnant by someone else other then her husband, well thats really not your problem, it's her problem & she is the one that has to live with it. Maybe in time she will say something... but for now, she has chosen to not tell her husband, so leave it at that. If her husband is your best friend, I can see what your saying, but blackmailing? You still had no right to do that. What you could do is tell her to tell her husband the truth & that once it's out in the open she will feel better... also let her know if she doesn't tell, then you will tell him, because he is your friend... (thats if you really feel he should know.)
@John4Christ (1598)
• India
25 Apr 09
Oh that's so very bad.....i know what you might going through at the moment.....i feel that you should talk to this friend about this and find out how is she feeling about this.....is she still interested in that boss of hers or she is feeling guilty about the whole thing.....i think that after talking to her you can arrive at a decision and she is really sorry for what she has done....maybe you can convince her that she should herself go and speak about this to her husband.....and what happens next, let us keep that for then.....but i feel you yourself should not get involved in this as if their marriage would break you would feel all the more guilty......what if that boss is not ready to accept her....it would all be very deserted situation.....although i would be interested to know, is her boss still interested in her ????
@KrauseHome (36751)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Personally if it it was me, I would not want to be ridiculed with the guilt of knowing something like this, and trying to always hide it as well. If you are really close to this woman, I would really talk to her and her Boss, and find out what their intentions are once the Baby is born. Especially since it is not her husbands, and how are they intending to keep it hidden forever? I would then tell her that in the best interest of everyone involved she really needs to let her husband know who the Father of the Baby really is, and then go from there. Because later in life it could come back to bite her, or if the baby does not look like the husband, etc. to bring suspicions so in the Best interest she needs to tell the husband now so you all can move on and be Happy. You did not make her bed, so why should you be helping her lie in it?