Is divorce the answer?
By sheyzlviv
@sheyzlviv (40)
Philippines
April 26, 2009 4:35am CST
About 20 percent of divorce proceedings are begun right away after a year of marriage. We see a lot of people having fights or breakdowns and coming to the doors of lawyers almost every day in our lives while their children are crying, telling them to stop. They file annulments without hesitating and viewing what will be picture of their family photo frame when he/she lost. Majority of this couple would think that divorce solves long-term problems or brings the peace and happiness at home.
What can you say? Do you think it's worth sticking to your marriage and try to make it work.. again?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@sarijeruk (17)
• Indonesia
27 Apr 09
Can we reverse the question... Is marriage the answer? Well, getting married is not the end of 2 people in love, it's all just the beginning. It need a lot of effort to make 2 head become one. There will be a lot of problems outhere.
So does the divorce. Divorce is not the end of the broken marriage, it's all just the beginning. You have to build a new life without your spouse, you need a lot of effort to mend your broken heart, you have to told your kid why you live seperated, etc. I thing we have to ask ourselves truly before getting divorce. Getting divorce doesn't mean you free from the problem. You just skip it.
@sheyzlviv (40)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
Yeah if i have posted the question like that... Marriage will be the start of new life, the stage of not just giving but committing yourslef into something serious.
@Dro_Pesci (15)
• United States
26 Apr 09
Marriages dont work because people get married for the wrong reasons. men get pressured into marriage by women. women smother them with guilt of not commiting. but as shows like brideziller display a GOOD% of women only want to get married for 1 reason. the big fantasy wedding they've been dreamin of their whole life that they make thier future husband pay for only to take half of his monies a year later smh. lol b carefull who u marry and have ur kids with people
@sheyzlviv (40)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
Yeah, that's why when you get married you really have to think before getting into. Marriage is not only a one night stand relationship but a lifetime commitment. Thanks for sharing your ideas...!
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
For me all couples have problems. Problems is part of life. It's just maybe they were not ready to face having this problems, and can't face life together after getting married. One fallen in love but there is not an excuse the only excuse there having is psychological incapacity. Can anyone say that the person fallen out of love,or I can't stand the responsibility, obligations to my wife or my husband, and the kids. What a pity for the children, yes I feel bad for these parent who resolve there problems that way. They never could fix their problems, or never care with their children feelings at all. Some thinks that marriage is a good escape and it easy to go in and out. I think once you get married it's a life time commitment, the stronger bonding you have for each other. No excuses, and no buts, but to work it out and nurture it more.Have a nice day to you!
@betsyhu (207)
• China
27 Apr 09
Yes, It's problem that male and female have to face with in practice along with time past.Any thing will happen to break our promise before,need our deal with wisely. I think, the children contained in divorce is so pity. some times,parents should consider their children first not themselves.Because of their spur-of-the-moment bring children a life regretness .
@MAHESH2008 (844)
• India
26 Apr 09
No divorce is not at all an ultimate answer of such problems. Usualy it happens in most of the cases. when two peoples are in love they think they can live with love for life long and sacrifce every thing for thier love. when actual life starts they find lot of expectations from their partner and its always difficult to live life which is full of sacrifices and expectation. If one partner fails other,s ego will gets hurted and this started creating trouble in their relationship. Best way to come out of this is that one has to put him self in the situation in which other was, than think whether what other partner is doing is justified or not. It is always better to understand the partner and have full trust on him. Trust , faith and love are the key factors in realtionship if one found every thing in their realtionship than it will never get breaks and life would be heaven.
@sheyzlviv (40)
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
Right! Couples must read this discussion so that this could help them get out of trouble and realize the disadvantages of divorce. If i would be married someday and face such problems or trials, for sure i will search a solution just to make everything alright... and never break up with promises we made together on our marriage day.
@iamcapricorn (338)
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
[b][/b]the first two years are the most difficult stage of married life, really knowing your partner, his/her negative and positive characteristics and adjustments from single to married life. Young people specially, have a high expectations when getting married, they sometimes think that marriage is a bed of roses like when they are still in their courting stage, and didn't expect the responsibilities that comes with marriage. In my marriage we do have our ups and downs, but when I looked back now, I'm glad that I'm still married to the same man I marry 25 years ago.
@jellymonty (2352)
•
26 Apr 09
I wish all married couples were like you who stick together for that long so thumbs up to you! I totally don't believe in divorce no matter what problems that are heading your way. For me I believe that majority of people today take marriage for granted and think its all heavenly bliss, and when they run into problems they just give up and want a divorce. They think they are in love but in actual fact it is not love its is something else because if you truly are in love with someone then you will invest the time to TOTALLY know them before you say I do. People are not investing that time to know the other person. Statistics show that Women who are abused physically, mentally and emotionally during marriage have had a tatse of that before they said I do and yet they still go ahead and say I do.. The sooner people realise that marriage is no joke then they will be no divorces..
@srini90 (1)
• India
27 Apr 09
divorce is not the correct solution for husband-wife relationship.they should try to solve the problem rather than opting for divorce.if the have any children then it will affect them deeply and also mentally if the parents are separated.if parents are not together them their children had to go through many problems.sometimes they will also be made fun by others.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
27 Apr 09
working out a marriage is not an easy thing... and it involves efforts from both parties... i also have ups and downs moments with my hubby... but we always try to work it out and divorce is definitely not the answer that we are looking for... when we say our marriage vows in front of our pastor and the congregation, we have to honor it... take care and have a nice day...
@dodo19 (47066)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
27 Apr 09
Personally, I don't think that divorce is always the solution. I think that, in some cases, it may be, but definitely not in very case. Divorce isn't the solution, at all. If these people are willing to fight and get a divorce and such, then why aren't they willing to fight, in order to save their marriage?
@cahyorini (315)
• Indonesia
27 Apr 09
I don't think so, I thinks divorce was only the last option we have. Never said this words if you only on emotional state, this will only getting worse and worse, especially when you have kids, you will finally regret at the end. Sometimes i do have a big fight with my husband, but we can manage to solve it with cold head,find the good spot and talk calmly, this is always works. I can't never imagined if i have separated with my family. Thinks twice before getting the big decisions. Happy myloting my friend.
@pulangpluma (334)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
Hmm..for lack of a better term, I think Divorce is an easy-way-out solution to a marital problem. there are a lot of couples who held on to each other till they are old and gray. i am sure they also have their ups and downs so if they can do it why can't some.
@angel_rain (271)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
For me I don't want to stick to the marriage if it will not do any good for me and my kids.I agree to have a divorce as long as there is a good and valid reason (not because of petty fights or unmet expectations).What's the use of having a complete picture if the development of the kids are affected because they know they have a malfunctioned family and home?I can't see the logic in it,so it's better to be broken and happy than be whole but suffering.
@junojose (43)
• India
27 Apr 09
Divorce is not the only solution to everything.In your life with your partner,you may have arguments on several matters.You will need a whole lot of patience and tolerance to listen to your partner and to keep on with your relationship.You must not always stick onto your own views.Sometimes you have to give up for your partner.And if you wont,then your life will be very miserable.If you have kids too, they will be the real ones who wud be suffering from all these.So if anyone's planning for a divorce,please have a second thought to find out whether you really need it.
@mymhie5 (118)
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
for me its not hte answer you just keeping away all the problem leaving all the problem with your wife or husband
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
26 Apr 09
for some couples yes divorce IS the answer...for example a rush marriage that was never really meant to be in the first place...or a marriage that is fully of violence and abuse...or simply when a couple falls out of love with each other for whatever reasons...Just becuase a couple gets married DOESNT mean they are meant to be together forever....things happen in life that can drastically change what was once a good thing...
@acematthews71 (1084)
• India
26 Apr 09
Yeah, I think its worth sticking to the marriage and work it out between themselves. As they have vowed to live together and in marriage and relationships, sacrifices are bound to be made, not just by one but as they suit each other keeping their feelings in mind and not try to overdo it.
Taking divorce would never bring happiness as they would then be thinking of it the entire lifetime if they found themselves guilty of not compromising for one silly thing for which they would regret it later when the time would never come back!!
@THEMADTYPER (59)
• United States
26 Apr 09
I think that many people get married for all the wrong reason I also think that tthe adverage engagement should be anywhere from a year to 3 years before actually tying the not. We get all caught up in finding that someone that makes us happy for the momennt we leave alot out of the marriage equation.
@maxbest (97)
• China
26 Apr 09
I think it depends,if the couple already has a baby,they should think twice about the divorce decision.After all,it's too cruel for the little baby who would face the serious fact that he will not has the chance to live with his parents.But if has no baby yet,it's totally up to them,they can decide it according to their feelings.
@Chemikal201983 (24)
• United States
26 Apr 09
I think people jump in to marriage to quick and that is why a marriage fails. People assume that they should jump into the sack as soon as they meet and if the mating is good and they should get married. I think that hurts the kids in the longrun. I think the kids should have a say too.
