How does one live their lives out in dignity in this mean technological world?

Steve, I am deeply sorry about your mother's condition. I know what I want done, and I have very poor health, so I've thought about it quite a lot. Please respect your mother's wishes. It hurts to watch her fade away, but she knows her life can not have the quality it might have, and she wants to maintain her dignity as much as she can. No matter who has legal control, it's her life. She must be allowed to live it or leave it, as she wishes. She's not asking anyone to help her die; she's only asking not to stop the natural progression. Show her the love you obviously feel and let her have her way.

Steve, I offer my condolences for your mother and you. This is not a happy place to be. My mother passed away in 2006 due to stomache cancer. By the time it was found, the tumor was advanced. My mom had the tumor removed, but in 3 months the cancer had spread throughout the abdomen. We were very fortunate that the doctors attending my mom all agreed that chemotherapy and radiation therapy, while prolonging her life, would not improve the quality of her life. She came home and lived as independently as she could. When we found out that she had less than 5 months left, we applied for Hospice care. They came in and acted as Patient Advocates and supported our family. When the time came when she could not take care of herself, Hospice was there to help. Again, my parents planned for everything - they had nursing home insurance that was an excellent policy. We were able to move her into a nursing home that had a "Hospice" room. Insurance paid for everything. My mom was there for only one week before passing away. OK, now to answer your question. First and foremost, respect her wishes. If she is still sufficiently aware, and if she does not have a living will, contact a lawyer who can get one made up and signed before your mother is deamed incompetent. Do you have a medical power of attourney? If so, this process is much easier. Also, are you the only child, or do you have siblings? You will need to consult your siblings, if any, on any plans of treatment or refusal of treatments. Here, Hospice may also be of service. To answer other comments in the above repsonses: medicine now has the capability to prolong life far beyond the point where there is no quality to life. Most of the time the families just will not let go of their loved one. They keep urging the doctors to do everything to save their loved one, only to see them pass away. And granted, there are doctors out there that will do everything for the financial rewards rather than what should be done. So always be aware. May you find peace, celtic

steve, i'm sorry about your mother. it really puts u in a hard place. respect her wishes, i don't blame her. i wouldn't want to live if i wasn't able to take care of myself. hope things work out well for y'all.

If she refuses to take meds, let her refuse. If she can not make a choice, have them give them to her. Science advances daily. You never know what they will come up with.

Steve my heart is with you but although you have power of attorney I think your Mum meant that to be with paying her bills etc not telling her about her wishes on her health when she sounds very able to decide that for herself. I hope you will respect her wishes. I know that is so hard as I have a brother who says he will not have anymore treatment for the cancer he has if it gets worse and it is hard to stand by but you have to give them the respect to let them decide. Talk to the hospital staff as well. Every good wish goes to you both