Teaching my son to speak

@eltobh (231)
Indonesia
April 27, 2009 12:13am CST
I have a 26 months old son, who does not speak much yet. Well, he already said mama, papa, and some one-word vocabularies, but not clear enough. However, I am getting tired and offended of people warning me that he should have talked more than that, and people keep blaming me for not too talkative. Daaa?? Do I have to? I admit that I am not that talkative, but I believe that he will speak eventually when the time comes. Am I right or wrong? Or should I take him to a pre-school or not? I already tried to take him to sunday school. About this speech delay, is it true that it happens to boys more than to girls? And is this a sign of autism? Please help me.
2 people like this
15 responses
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
4 May 09
You really do have to speak with your son so that he would know that conversing is important to relay your messages to other people. It's not true that "he'll talk eventually" - of course there will come a time when his brain is more mature and he'll learn better on his own. However, the first couple of years is crucial because what he can develop his brain so much better if he gets enough exercise - and one of the most important exercises is conversations. It's not only about enrolling him to schools or day care centers that'll help him develop his speech skills, he really needs you to talk to him. I hope you find the time to :) Good luck and God bless! Thanks for the response on my discussion!
@eltobh (231)
• Indonesia
5 May 09
Oyenkai, thanks for responding :)
@AKMEDIA2 (328)
• United States
29 Apr 09
This might be an uncommon response but I would have to say that Einstein did not speak until age 7 and many very bright people did not speak until a late age. You should get him evaluated but more importantly, don't automatically think he has a development problem.
@eltobh (231)
• Indonesia
30 Apr 09
Hahaha..nice response :)
@mjhicks (319)
• United States
28 Apr 09
All children are different in their development. Boys do tent to lag behind girls in language development. As adults women on average speak around 30,000 words in a day while men only 15,000 on average. This is due to brain development. Girls are "wired" to do more speaking. Little girls will talk to their dolls and roll play house and tea party repeating phrases their mother uses. Boys tend to play cars, alien invasion, or pretend to be their favorite animal etc. They make noises, zoom, zap, grrrrrr, roar etc. Toys and games that encourage speaking and forming words help any child with language development. Talking to your child and encouraging him or her to communicate verbally also helps. Children with older siblings sometimes don't verbalize as much letting older brother or sister do their talking for them. I have a friend who didn't speak much til he was almost three as his older sister anticipated his wants and told their mother when he was hungry, thirsty, cold whatever. I also met an evangelist who didn't speak a single word till he was 4 years old, then spoke clearly from then on. His first word... Chevrolet. He grew up in a small town in the mid west. The one big thing to do on Friday nights was to go down town and watch the neon sign at the Chevrolet dealer blink on and off and spell out Chevrolet. So on one Friday night when his father asked the family what they wanted to do he shouted CHEVROLET! I have two grown children. My daughter was quick to speak and speak more clearly then my son did. He did have a small speech problem. He spoke clearly but in second grade he was still having trouble forming certain sounds and was tested by a speech thearpist who discovered he wasn't producing the sounds correctly due to how he was processing the sounds. It wasn't a hearing problem but a brain processing error. It was suspected that he had a slight form of dyslexia. Extra reading classes helped. Check with your pediatrician to be sure he doesn't have any physical problems interfering with language development. He probably just needs more interaction and time.
@eltobh (231)
• Indonesia
29 Apr 09
mjhicks, thanks for sharing :)
@1corner (744)
• Canada
27 Apr 09
There are other reasons behind a child's having delayed speech. You shouldn't jump to the conclusion he may have autism. The primary tell-tale symptom of autism is inability to form social/emotional bonds, not simply communication problems. If he doesn't make eye contact with others, and shuns your hugs, he may have it. It is true that boys start speaking later than girls; however, from your description, it seems like he's got some sort of developmental delay. Two-year olds are expected to be able to produce 2-word phrases/sentences, clearly or not, and are no longer restricted to 1-word utterances. How is his comprehension? Does he seem to understand you? Having said that, how do you & others talk to him? At his age, you can't talk too fast, use too many words, and not express abstract ideas. Toddlers understand the here and now, the concrete, and relevant objects & actions. I'd personally hold off on preschool. Not only is he a bit young for it, it's best to get at the root of his speech, possibly language, delay. An early post-er here advised taking him to a doctor. I'd say the same; you might get a referral to a speech/language therapist, if needed.
@eltobh (231)
• Indonesia
28 Apr 09
Hi 1corner. Thanks for commenting. Well, he eventually said mama and papa when he was probably almost 2 years old, and probably only said about 15 words in quite correct pronunciation (1-word utterance) until now. The rest only sound like grumbling. He does understand what me or other people are saying, in fact he knows and points clearly in every picture i'm asking him in his 100 first-word book. So basically, he just don't talk. Well, anyway, thanks again for your response, and I will try to keep on talking to him :)
@uath13 (8204)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Enjoy it while you can. My wife & family used to try to get my daughter to talk. NOW SHE WON'T SHUT UP!
• United States
28 Apr 09
Hahaha!!! Mine won't shut up either!!! lol
• United States
29 Apr 09
I can totally understand how you are feeling. I thought my daughter had a speech at one time, too. Children do develop at their own paces, you never know he may just start chatting away next month. However, if you're worried, take him to the doctor. Here are a few suggestions that you do at home, teach him the names of items, make up silly songs, get nursery rhymes on CD with silly songs, dance and sing with him. You have to be EXTREMELY DRAMATIC, make it all a game - that worked with my daughter (she's 4 now and talks non-stop). I'm not much of a talker either so the singing word games worked for me. Also, baby einstein videos, and coloring let together. My daughter's fine motor skills developed much quicker than her speech but when we began to play the games and sing - she took off like a rocket. I was concerned about autism too, I took my daughter to 3 different doctors and they all said she was fine. So if you're really worried, take him to the doctor (at least two) and do some reading on autism. Good Luck - I'm sure he is fine but do what you feel to ease your fears.
@azlin_04 (112)
• Malaysia
28 Apr 09
Hello eltobh,As a mother, of course we are worried but please give him time and space. Do not use any force k just lots of love and hugs.. I have a son who only start to talk when he is 4yrs++ old and people (relatives) around us gives a lot of comment you know..mostly negative,assuming that i couldn't care less about his condition ( he is veryyyyyy hyperactif!!!!- later on we found out he has a bit of ADHA systom hehehehe..) but given time and patient and LOVE from the parents,he turns out alright and now already 9 yrs++ and still very actif and talkative. Just be patient and follow his flows......dont ever think that a child who do not talk early is slow in progress because sometimes they will turn out to be the genius we didn't expect at all!! Good luck and enjoy your time...
• China
28 Apr 09
Hi,eltobh,dont worried about this! As a pharmacist in medicine college, I am sure you are right. actually your son has been able to speak, though his vioce is not clear enough now, which reveal that he has the ability to hear and talk, his voice system has no problem. someday he will speak clearly and loudly. Tell you about the story of my cousin, the cute child have the "problem" alike your kid. his familly were very serious about him, and took him to examine in hopitals many times. all the results showed he have no problem in hearing and vioice system,but the doctors also did not know why he can not speak clearly. As the time pass, the kids can speak commonly at three years old and then go to pre-school just like other kids. but I suggest you should talk with him daily just like communicating with normal persons, because he can understand what you say and show what he think to you at the same time.
@xayuk69 (267)
• Malta
27 Apr 09
Your son will surely speak and say more vocabulary when he will be ready.Yes I think that it is quiet common for boys to speak later than girls ,but I do not think that you should worry about that. I have two daughters that by the age of two and a half years spoke very much and had a great knowledge of vocabulary butI also have a son that just like yours did not speak a lot at that age but when he learned to talk well and had learnt more vocabulary I couldn't stop him from talking,believe me! Do not bother about what people say, not all children develop at the same rate and I do not think that it is a sign of autism. Everything will be fine with your son.
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I would take him to a neurologist as soon as possible to be evaluated and put your mind at ease. My daughter was diagnosed with speech delay when she was toddler as well. She didn't begin to put two or three words together until she was almost 5. There was no reason they could find for her silence. Today, she is 13, gifted and doesn't keep her mouth shut. When I tell her about her past, she instantly tells me that she didn't speak because there weren't any intelligent people worth speaking to! I had to enroll her in a preschool for children with a variety of problems, and it did help bring her out of her shell a bit, but ultimately, she didn't speak until she was good and ready.
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I've heard that it's a sign of autism but i would just say work with him and repeat words and sounds that he makes that kind of sounds like words and then you say the words so it makes him kinda learn i guess. I dunno that's kinda what i'm doin and i have a 17month old son. It's just something you have to do to work with them.
• United States
27 Apr 09
There's nothing to worry about my little brother didn't speak until he was four and they thought he was handicapped. He's not he's just fine in the airforce now and has no problems other than not getting him to shut up. children develop at their own pace and they do portray human interaction as seen from the parent. If you're a quiet person he might be too. He can express himself in other ways try sign language or coloring these are tools that can help him come out of his shell a little more and maybe sprout a few words here and there.
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Kids are individuals, and as individuals we all learn at a different rate. Some learn later than others. It isn't always a cause for concern. Though at the same time if you are concerned you should talk to your son's pediatrician about it. It can be a sign of autism, though there are usually more signs than just speech delay. Rocking and hand flapping are a couple such examples. Here is a link about autism: http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_home You should read up on it and learn the signs on autism. With my own 2 kids, I was very concerned when my oldest son wasn't talking by about 2 years of age. Though unlike your situation, I got the opposite reaction from people. Several different people, including my son's pediatrician told my husband and I not to worry and that he'd eventually talk. But that didn't ease my concern. A couple of years went by and by then my husband and I knew he was autistic, although we didn't get him tested until he was almost 7. At almost 12 years of age he is talking more and more, though not holding any real conversations. My youngest son didn't start talking until right around his 3rd birthday. Almost 6 years later I can't get him to shut up! LOL Do what you think is best for your son. Good luck!
@krajibg (11932)
• Guwahati, India
27 Apr 09
a mother caring her baby - Mother's love is important for a baby to learn everything
There is nothing to be worried for some children rake considerably a longer period to speak. Another factor that affects a baby in its pre articulatory stage is his listening to others talk. The more you and others talk the more chances are there that the baby picks up speaking the real words. So keep on telling him stories and all or make him sit in front of TV or put on a radio. Just it should hear speech.
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
27 Apr 09
First an foremost, you need to talk to his doctor. Other then that, children do not come with instruction manuals nor do any children ever follow the footprints of another child. While one child will speak at one age, the other will speak at another age, ect. Really, just talk to his doctor.