Troublesome Child

United States
April 29, 2009 1:19am CST
I have a 24 year old daughter. She and her children moved in with me after her split from her husband. She enrolled in college. The first semester went great! She had a light in her eyes i hadnt seen for years. The second semester she was overloaded. With four classes and 3 children, ages 8,2, and 6 months and her numerous court dates she began to fall behind. I tried helping with children with lending an ear etc. But she has just become more and more distant. It is killing me inside to watch this. She has some new friends. Whom, are not friends at all. I do not have a good feeling about the entire situation. I think she is bi-polar but is in denial. She has always had extreme highs and lows. I have begged her more than once to seek counceling. But she always seems to have an excuse. Now i have just celebrated my first year of marriage to a wonderful man, who has put up with more than most men would have. I know it is time for her to go. But my concern is my grandchildren. I dont think that they would be in an enviroment that is secure or nuturing with her at this time. My oldest grandchild is ADD and has a bit of a learning disabilty so he needs alot of patience. Something she doesnt possess. I think I have come to a very hard crossroads in my life with this situation. But she is making everyone in the home miserable with her barbs and negativity. I feel like I am in the middle of everyone and HER. If anyone tries to talk to her she becomes crude and defensive. Which I am aware is just a wall that says "leave me alone." Has anyone had a similiar situation in their lifes? I know for most men it is easier to say hey hit the road than it is for the mothers. We laid down some rules for her if she wanted to continue under our roof. But it just seemed to go in one ear and out the other. There is no peace in my home and I dont want to live like that. It isnt healthy. Would love to hear how you might have dealt with similar situations or just insites to maybe some other approaches.
1 person likes this
1 response
@carpenter5 (6785)
• United States
30 Apr 09
We went through this with our son to some degree. It was truly horrific. He was depressed and taking it out on the world. Nothing we did was right and he was making our life a living you know what. My husband loves his son more than life, but we knew we had to be proactive. As long as he was living in our house, he wasn't going to even try to get a job, or make anything of his life. He played at going to school, but his grades were in the tank. My hubby sent me away for the weekend with a friend and while I was gone, he forced James to move out. It was the hardest thing we've done as a parent, but it was the best thing for James. I will be praying for you.
• United States
2 May 09
Thank you so much. I think we will need all the prayers we can get. Just having someone who can truly understand feels so great.