Do you think I'm really bad?

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Do you have a brother and sister older than you? How are they to you? Have you ever felt like you always get the last option? I mean the one they get are best ones. And that they are superior than you, and their decisions are always right. Even your parents think they are always right. And you're always wrong. How would you deal with that if your in that position? I've always been in that situation since i was a kid. I was the one who always have patience with them because that's want my mother thought me to be. To always give way because they are older than me and that i should respect them always. But she didnt thought them to respect me, i guess. Because they're so bossy and that irritates me the most. Specially my brother, because my father is abroad he thought he should be the one to take over the positon in the house. So He was always like he's the kind. I've been so a good girl as a kid until i've learned to fight them back and defend my self. I became bad now. I know I became like this because of what they were to me. I was so good before but they didnt treat me right. I'm the youngest among them and i will forever be. But i dont wanna be like under them forever so i fight back. And now they'd always tell me that im so bad. That im ashame because i dont know how to respect my brother and sister. I even get to answer back my mother because she always agree on my brother. She always thought he's right. And she never thought how bad his son was. She didnt want to believe me that he did some bad things. Even I told her how my brother was. She doesnt believe me. I always feel like i dont have companion here in our house. In fact i dont really have. I turned out to be really bad girl now. I dont know how to change my self with this environment. Im not happy being like this. But i just dont know now what's right and wrong. I just want to be happy and i just do whatever i wanted to do. I even learned not to care what other people would say to me. I think I became numb. And I feel like I cannot change my self anymore now!