Marriage - Secret Bank Accounts

@benhilo (871)
Tripoli, Libya
April 30, 2009 11:05am CST
Have you heard of the woman who was married for a number of year. Throughout this marriage the wife maintained a secret bank account which currently sit at over $800,000. The only way the husband found out was that the bank called and spoke to the husband to see if the wife (account holder) wanted to switch to a higher yielding account. First of all let me say the the bank is wrong for discussing someone else account (even if is your spouse). But to have secrets in a marriage, this leads to too many problems. If there is one secret there are others. A marriage should be based in trust. Where's the trust in keeping secrets?
2 people like this
9 responses
@lexus54 (3576)
• Singapore
1 May 09
I agree with you on your opinions that firstly, the bank should not discuss bank account issues with someone else other than the account holder, because such bank issues can be confidential in nature. Maybe the husband told the bank that he manages the wife's bank accounts, and they believed him. Secondly, it is not healthy for the relationship for the wife to keep a secret account, and that goes for the husband also. It demonstrates a lack of trust in the relationship, and that can lead to mistrust not just in financial matters but in other things related to the marriage. It may also be the case that she wants to keep the money for herself and don't want her husband to know of its existence, in case he puts demands on her to contribute a sum to the household. My view is that it is better not to harbor such secrets in a marriage, let things be out in the open and maintain mutual respect and trust for one another.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
1 May 09
Do you know this lady personally or you heard that news from somewhere, I believe that you have read it somehwere. But you are right, both the bank and the lady didn't do right things. The bank must not discussion about their custormes to any third party and lady should not have done it secretly but then again she might have some reasons, can't she?
@benhilo (871)
• Tripoli, Libya
1 May 09
Read it and heard it on the news. I am sure she had her reasons but what they are we do not know. My point was that they were married for quite a while and the secret was kept for that long. Like some have suggested, she may have stashed in case they got separated.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
2 May 09
but 800 thousand dollar, that is a big amount, isn't it? Can we call that woman a greedy girl?
• United States
30 Apr 09
Here's a link to an article about this situation. The wife's bank balance, even after giving over $150,000 to the husband last year, is now over a million dollars. http://www.nypost.com/seven/04272009/news/regionalnews/wife_avings_suit_166397.htm Since I can't paste, I had to type this by hand. Hope I got it right.
@benhilo (871)
• Tripoli, Libya
1 May 09
Thanks for the link! and the response!!
@irene66 (1670)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Keeping a bank account secretly to me does not mean you don't trust your partner. It's just that one has to secure herself if something happens with a marriage in the future. marriage is also unstable at times. and if partners quarrel and marriage is threatened, atleast, a wife is secured for she has money to spend without the support of a husband. Though it could lead to some suspicions, it does not means trust is absent in all aspects of marriage. maybe in money matters only.
@masonj (47)
• United States
30 Apr 09
I certainly feel that if their marriage wasn't threatened before her husband found out about her secret $800,000 then it has to be now. Keeping a secret this monumental sounds like she was planning for a divorce before she was even married.
• Philippines
1 May 09
this story is familiar! it did happened to my aunt...well, i can't blaim her if she had a secret bank account because my aunt is the one who have worked really hard abroad just to achieved everything she wants in life. i think she just want her money to be secured especially when she got home and learnt that her husband had impregnated their maid. they have separated but got back together due to the begging of their kids.
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
1 May 09
wow she had secretly kept that much? i havent read or seen the story of this one and i dont know the real score. i would open a secret account if i can, just in case something wrong will happen, not in a sense that i will get separated so i can have money for myself, but in a sense that i will have something to fall back on for my kids future. if the money that i have kept will be too much already, then i would withdraw some and tell my husband about the money i have on hand but not the one i still have on the account. it's nice once in a while to spend on something we dont really need, kind of de-stressing. but the bank was wrong for discussing it with the another person. but who knows, maybe the wife put in her account that she's married and put her husband's name on it, i mean it is considered a conjugal property if its like that right? the husband has a say on it, so if the banked had told it to the husband, it could be that they think it was a joint savings or that the husband knows it or something like that.
@kimutaku (145)
• China
1 May 09
first of all the bank is unprofessional. the bank should to talk with the owner,not everyone. marriage is based on trust and honest. But..... many people can't do this. not all marriages are happy and full of love. I dont know what I'm saying
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
1 May 09
First of all, just because there is a secret such as this, does not mean there are other secrets as well. I opened a secret bank account a few years ago, but not to be deceitful to my husband. He has a terrible time saving and if he had known right off the bat that I was trying to save money he would find a reason to spend it on something. And as I have a terrible time saying no to him, the money would be spent before I had time to change my mind. Unfortunately my cover was blown shortly after I opened the account when the bank sent me a thank you for opening it up. . But I was still able to save some money and thanks to that, my husband and I were able to get a couple of used cars (separate occasions) and a motorcycle for him. I don't think there is anything wrong for either spouse to have a secret bank account. It's a smart move for having a secure future.
@masonj (47)
• United States
30 Apr 09
You are absolutely correct in saying that there is no trust in keeping secrets. I am just wondering what type of lifestyles did this couple lead? I certainly hope that she didn't have her husband working his but off everyday to pay the mortgage with all that money stuffed away. They could have both been living a very relaxed and easy life with that type of money on hand. I agree that the bank had no right to discuss a private bank account with anybody other than the account holder herself. I'm not exactly sure where this happened but state laws do vary quite a bit when it comes to marriage and money. Since they were married, I'm not sure that any laws were broken, although they could have been. It's just to bad that a secret like this had to get into marriage. She was probably pretty happy with all of her money. I think they could've both been quite happy. Afterall, they're married.