Why do moms love the son in law but not their daughter in laws?

United States
May 4, 2009 9:09pm CST
Moms with one son and one daughter after their marriage loves their son in law but hates their daughter in law? how about in your family?
7 responses
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
11 May 09
I think to be fair, most moms can relate better to son in laws than daughter in laws. It is something to do with gender issues. If we see from this perspective, a man's friendship with another man will not really end up in a conflict that many as opposed to a woman's friendship with another woman. And hence, when it comes to daughter in law and mother in law issues, this abides by the woman to woman friendship. Well, if we notice the friendship of a man and a woman is quite easy, natural and free flowing from conflicts as well. I see the similarities there and that's the reason why daughter in law and mom in law could not see eye to eye on most things. But of course, there are mother in laws whom could not get along with son in laws and daughter in laws whom are really close like best friends with their mother in laws. It differs with different people. But the probability of not getting along between daughter and mother in law is probably higher. That's what I think. Have a nice day.
• United States
10 May 09
I think this is a generalization that is not necessarily true. At least from my own experience in my life and in the lives of those I know. Who is liked and who isn't depends on the individual, not on whether or not it is a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law. It also depends on culture as well. In some cultures males are considered of more worth than females and that is a sad fact.
@prathna (175)
• Canada
7 May 09
well theres always the womenly conflict. and then theres the fact that the mother feels she's lost part of her young little boy to someone else.
• United States
6 May 09
I only have sisters, which means that my mom only has son-in-laws. I know that she cares about each of them. They have all been welcomed into the family. I think it would be the same way if there was a daughter-in-law. My mother-in-law and I get along great. My mother-in-law has only 2 sons. My brother-in-law is not married, so I am the only daughter-in-law. If I tried to prevent my husband from spending time with his mother, it would create a lot of problems. But that isnt the case. As long as the 2 women in a man's life respect each other, I dont think there needs to be any problems!
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
5 May 09
I would then say I am one of the lucky few, for my mother in law loves me a lot and she has 3 daughters too and one more daughter in law. She loves us all equally, whether it be the sons, daughters or daughters in law. She is a wonderful lady and is now 94 years old. I guess the feeling is that her role in her sons life will diminish considerably after he marries, and that could be the bone of contention. However, if we learn to let go from the beginning and understand that as we are loved by our husbands, we should also hope our son is loved by his wife. Where ther is love and respect, there is peace. Treat not your daughter in law as an outsider, but a daughter earned and see the difference.
@pmcepe (194)
• Philippines
5 May 09
Perhaps because she thinks that another woman in her son's life is a competition? It would really be about perception. I have 2 daughters-in-law and I know for sure I love them both dearly already even if they are still new in the family (17 months and 9 months). Maybe because both are also loving. But even before my sons were of marrying age I vowed to myself that I would be a good, loving Mother-in-law and spare them from the heartache I expereinced as a new daughter-in-law myself.(Me and my in-laws are in the best of relationships already).
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
5 May 09
When a daughter gets married and woman is given a son in law it means her daughter will be taken care of. When a son gets married a the mother is given a daugher in law it means that someone else will be taking care of him. It is a psychological thing and is common in many families. By the son getting married it means he no longer needs his mother. The mother feels as though she is being replaces. The same thing happens when a daughter gets married and the father doesn't take to his new son in law but when the son gets married the father thinks the world of his new daughter in law.