Your confidence as a woman

@bamakelly (5193)
United States
May 10, 2009 8:45am CST
I was wondering to all you ladies out there if you feel that your confidence as a woman has changed as you have grown older. Do you seem to still have the same ambition that you might have had as a younger girl? To tell you the truth it seems that now that I am forty one I kind of feel that life had a way of passing me by because I have responsibilities now and I didn't quite get to do the things that I wanted to when I was in my twenties. I wanted to have a career and have independence. My confidence seemed to be stronger. I am now a stay at home mother and I love my family very much. However I sometimes feel that I don't have the confidence in myself that I should like some working women seem to have. Any opinions welcome or any stories from your side?
2 people like this
8 responses
• United States
14 May 09
Kelly- I think mine has shifted to new areas, if that makes sense. In my late teens early twenties I thought I could take on the world. I was not scared, and a bit of a risk taker. I think that my confidence was pretty much shot during my first marriage which was abusive, but I found new areas to be confident in. Even when still in the first marriage, I started college, so I was able to foster my confidence in my classes, where I excelled. Today, I'm finishing up graduate school but am also a stay at home mommy. My confidence now is in the ability to multi-task, make dinner and hold a baby, etc. It's in being able to change a baby diaper with one hand, and catch the flying bottle with the other. Each of us as women have our areas of knowledge, and those areas that we can excel in and build our confidence. Those are the areas we must nurture. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
14 May 09
You truly have some words of encouragement here and it sounds like you are speaking from the heart. I am not a risk taker and I wish that I was a little more assertive. I am a woman that has been a certain way through out my life. It is almost like I am set in my ways. I know that I should have more confidence in myself but I am not sure where to start. I believe that you have a point there about having our own areas of knowledge as women. We probably just need to find it. I figure that I might have some good traits within myself but I have a sense of intimidation of the world for some reason. I know that I have the capability to be a good mother and I do try my best. There is just a sense of needing more confidence and incentive for myself. Take care and thank you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 09
Kelly- And that's ok too. That makes you confident in areas that other women may not be. And I agree, the world can be a very intimidating place, full of uncertainity. I can't really say there was one cure-all for me to become a bit more confident and slightly more assertive, I think it was just time and circumstances. I wish you a pleasant rest of the week. Take Care and Namaste-Anora
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@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
18 May 09
Hi bama...I actually have more confidence than I ever had and it's growing daily! I'm not sure if it's a matter of ambition but a sense that people count on me to take care of them - my husband and my son. I am less apt to call it a night until I physically cannot move. I am more apt to assert myself at work because I'm confident in my abilities and my moral center.
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
19 May 09
That is a nice way of looking at things deejean. That is great that you find yourself with more confidence now than ever. I wish I could feel the same way. Some things in life are learned and some things are born with. I certainly do not feel as though I was born with a lot of confidence and I don't know why. That is a good thing that you have people that count on you and they entrust you to do the things that you do. Being able to assert one's self especially in the work place is an added bonus. You can stand your ground and get the job done with a lot of respect that you deserve. Thank you.
@dragon54u (31644)
• United States
11 May 09
You have a career, the most important one in the world. When your child gets older you can take some classes and get ready for a second career as he leaves home. Staying at home with the children can eat away at your confidence sometimes and when you feel that, you need to get outside and do something, go to the library or join a book club or something that will challenge your intellect.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
14 May 09
Thank you for the great words of encouragement dragon. I truly appreciate it. It can really be easy to start to feel a little down or discouraged with my own confidence as a woman these days. I realize that I have an important job and I do take it seriously however I do wish that I could do something more productive. I don't work outside of the home but I do try to get out and have some friends here and there when I can. It is nice to be able to see my son learn and grow but it can be tough sometimes. I do appreciate your kind words of understanding on the matter. Take care friend.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
11 May 09
I was a working Mom all of the time until I retired. I may have not achieved my goals as a young woman, but I have let those go and just try to enjoy each time in life as it comes along.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
11 May 09
in a way i used to feel the loss of confidence. however, i still have batch mates from the elementary or primary school years who don't have husbands yet and even if they have they cannot have or don't have children yet. cliche as it is: money can't buy the happiness a family brings.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 May 09
How do women who work outside their home feel about this subject? You are blessed, I think, to be in a position to be a stay-at-home mom. Being a mom and wife, managing the house (fancy term for housecleaner) is a real job! You get to see your children as they are growing every day. You don't miss baby's first steps, and other firsts in your children's lives. I was not a stay-at-home mom. My daughter was with babysitters starting at two months old. I would've liked being a stay-at-home mom. It wasn't an option as my husband's work wasn't consistent.
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@TLChimes (4838)
• United States
10 May 09
I have MORE inside my home and with the family confidence. Here I run, balance, schedule, deal, direct, deligate, with the best. I never did outside the home well. A malfunction I'm well aware of but really don't worry about. I am MOM and WIFE above all else. I am working on adding WRITER which is something I'm doing just for me.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
10 May 09
Hey there bamakelly! I'm a forty one year old stay at home mom too. My confidence fluctuates. I've had a couple of part time jobs since I became a stay at home mom. I dabbled in Real Estate for a while. I do have moments where my confidence is low, but then I have moments where I know that if I had to take care of myself, I could... I haven't accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish, but I think most people don't. Even those who are sucessful in business are probably lacking elsewhere, such as having enough time for their families. I understand where you're coming from. I happen to be in a positive thinking mood right now. Even if we haven't made the "big bucks" we have made a positive impact in this word by being there for our children and doing the many "thankless tasks" that we stay at home mom's tend to do. I hope you have a good day!
1 person likes this