I got rejected by her mom:(

@HelScream (2823)
Philippines
May 11, 2009 12:42am CST
I love my girl friend so much but for certain reasons we cant be together forever. One of the reasons is I got rejected by her mom. Her mom means the world to her so anything her mom says she believes. She told her mom about me everything about us, but her mom said that we are not good for each other coz eventually we would have problems, aside from our differences in life her mom say all in all is "I only know how to love" . What does that mean? Is love not enough to get the women I ever love, Love can work wonders but why is it not enough for her mom? What else do I need for me to have the love of my life. She means everything to me, I can fight for her but she wont do the same.....I respected her decision on this matter but it's the reason that I cant accept.
13 people like this
60 responses
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
11 May 09
Hi HelScream, That is one of the saddest news I have heard about you. It is very disappointing but when there is a will there is a way. I am sure you will find some way to please her mom. After all you are her daughter's sweet heart, isn't it? I am sure she can make out some ways to make her mom pleased with you!
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
hi sanu you know I have been waiting for you to reply to this discussion at least I would somehow be having fun with your witty replies but you know you have a soft spot in you my friend by the way where were you the whole day haven't seen you around. And regarding my gf well what comes around goes around all I can do now is go on with life be successful and I'll see if I would pass her standards ....
2 people like this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
11 May 09
Hi there, Know what, I thought of going witty but then I realized that it is just a bit more serious and you might feel bad, if I make fun out of a serious subject. I was here but now I do mylot only in the morning till 8 in the morning, thus I couldn't catch up with you. About your gf leaving you, we in our friends group used to tease the sad person by saying, "Hey! you left your gf, so, there is an opening for me, isn't it?"!
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
As one of our friends here say theres always an exemption well I guess you are exempted on this one lol .... well my friend never though I leave to see this day you being serious on one of my topic Well anyways nice intro
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17619)
• Singapore
11 May 09
I like your positive stance on this. Well my friend, I already know that you are a very patient person. Sometimes in life, there are people that don't like us and that like us. And in this delicate situation, the daughter likes you but not the mother. Work the differences in your head. Is there a specific reason that she does not like you? Is she meaning not good enough in terms of status? In terms of education? Or social standing? There could be many reasons. Or perhaps looks? Or she feels her daughter is not good enough for you and hence those dislike? There are many reasons but of course, the person that don't like us won't tell us the truth. The main thing is to just be patient and work the differences. And since your girlfriend has chosen her path, let he be. If she's meant to be yours, she will come back no matter how much differences you guys have. But I do know for sure that she's a lucky girl to have someone like you love her. Because your love is imminent. Good luck in your life, buddy. Hang in there.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
First of thank you my friend. Well I am really not sure why she say all this I mean her mom. First we have different religion next I am older than her and next my family is rich and I am not meaning I still am half way to reaching my goals in life. This so far is what she know of me.But the thing my friend is she is letting her mom decide for herself....that I have no hold of... yeah more patience is needed in deed. thanks for the luck
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17619)
• Singapore
11 May 09
Hmmm, no wonder. I see there. So the most bugging thing of all is the difference of religion. I think that's what her mom thinks, though I'm not sure what her real thoughts are. You are very much welcome. Don't worry, if there is fate for both of you, I'm sure things will work out. Though I know it's more easier said than done and you are the one feeling the pain. Sorry, buddy. I wish that things could work out for you. If this one fails, perhaps one day you'll get someone that loves you totally and will always spend her time with you. Take care.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
No need to be sorry my friend, a person who love always ends up the winner , I always say this to myself for no one ever looses if you share your love to a person even if that person wont be mine. I consider myself still lucky even if I wont have her for in this lifetime rarely do you find true and lasting love but luckier are those who are married to them. Take care too my friend
2 people like this
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
11 May 09
That's sad helscream but don't lose hope! If i were you, i should continue the relationship but first i need to convince my girlfriend that i will stay. I guess your girlfriend's mom is being practical. I just want to ask, are you rich? Maybe her mom is looking for someone that's rich so that her daughter won't suffer. I know it's really hard to accept but i guess that how it goes right now. You can continue your relationship secretly while you're busy making yourself rich or at least be the guy the her mom would like. Don't let other people get in the way of your love to your girlfriend.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Hi modstar, Thanks for the encouraging words you have. And yes I will never give up on her for I love her so much and I know she loves me too. I didn't stress her out though to fight for what we have and let her decide what is good for her future. Maybe someday fate would somehow lead us to be together. And for your question , my parent is rich but I am still on the verge of making my dreams come true. We came from a different country , different religion, and many more... but this doesnt stop me from loving her. Not now that I finally found her.
1 person likes this
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
11 May 09
I used to have a girlfriend with a different religion and i fought for her. I succeeded though we broke up but not because of our difference. There was a third party involved on her side so i should really leave her. There's always a way, you can marry through civil wedding. That's not bad right? I think you just have to make a good impression to her mom. Convince her that you are worthy of her daughter. I'm curious, how old is your girlfriend? Because if she's the same age as you then i guess you're lucky because she would rather spend her lifetime with you than to spend her lifetime with noone. lol!
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Well first we really are not yet planning on getting married anytime soon my friend. We just let her mother know about this so she would know at the beginning that my intentions are clear for her daughter. I havent prove my self worth yet to her parents but they shot me down just like that. Would my present status really matter why cant they give me just a few more time to prove that I am worthy to be with their daughter.. She is only 24 and I 30 so its still to early for us to be together right.
1 person likes this
@agrim94 (3807)
• India
11 May 09
hi helscream, I am sorry that you have to undergo all through this and it should be between you and your girl friend. But her mom is her parent and all parents would want a better life for their wards. hey i m not saying you are not good but may be though i am not sure her mom might be meaning that a girl needs more tham love. I am a guy so only thinking loud i can be wrong. Girl need security financial, emotional and physical. She also need respect to her as a wife, and as a woman and would want that her husband/bf would respect her and her family and be always be there for her when ever she needs him. may be her mother might have thought that her girl needs more than what you offered in all these dept. Pls dont take me rude but i have seen quite a few guys here in India rejected by girls parents on these lines. But i think it should be between you and your girl to decide and if she didnt find you good in all the things i mentioned then i dont think she would be in a relationship with you. I am really sorry and i know how much it hurted. I wish you all the best and hope her mother sees whats inside you and how much happy you would keep her daughter.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
agrim no need to be sorry my friend. Girl needs love everything comes together with the package when you love someone you would do everything in your will that you could give her everything she wants financially emotionally physically and even support her spiritually meaning her religion. I know your point though maybe it's there culture though thats why I understand her coz of our differences , but in true love nothing would hinder 2 people in love. One of the respondent on this discussion said that maybe my gf is not yet ready for a serious relationship and you know I think she is right. Well lets see on the many years to come if it's me and her still. Well for her mother I think it wont be a matter for her mom to decide if both of us have everything we need to survive as a couple right?
1 person likes this
@agrim94 (3807)
• India
11 May 09
yes i know if there is no love in marriage then all the gold and power on earth can not make boy or a girl happy. And it is very difficult emotionally for girl if girl mom is against it and if girl is not very much in love then she probably wont antagonize her mom. May be she needs time to make her mom see her choice is good one. so dont think your girl is not in deep love with you unless she proves it this way. She is still with you means she thinks everything would be sorted out and has not lost hope.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 May 09
ouch... here i go again, feeling the way i did in your other discussion. but i'm not gonna cry this time. :) let's see here... if you were told that "you only know how to love" means you have differences (background, social status, family, upbringing, religion etc). and that you don't understand the impact of these differences to your girlfriend and her family as well as your future family if ever you'll end up together. the best move you have done is to respect her decision, but since you love her a lot... i suggest a talk with her mom. insist that an explanation is due, no matter what the outcome of the talk is. at least explain your side and fight your own battle even if your gf won't side with you. then talk to your gf. if you are willing to wait until she has a change of heart, then do so.
• Philippines
11 May 09
if you must... then love her and wait until she comes to terms with the situation. let her know you'll wait. but also let her know that while you wait, she's free... that you both are. and that you respect her decision. but it won't stop you in finding ways to recapture that love again, and be accepted by her family for what you are. let her realize you'll do what you can to fight for your love but that you are also willing to let go of that love if it would make her happy. for now, just give her the space. if she is for you... she'll come back to you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 May 09
I'm so sorry for you dude. Its just that there are too many moms out there who wouldn't want their own children to have a relationship with somebody they didn't like. You can make it turn the other way around. If you really wanna have her, do anything that would please her mom. Court her mom. Prove to her that you are something worthy of her daughter. Hey, i just did that and it worked. Don't be pessimistic about it.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
hahaha The thing my friend is that her mom hasnt seen me yet. doesnt know me personally , her decision to let her mom know about us was good for me so she would know what my intentions are. But how can she actually say I am not worthy while in fact she doesnt know what my capabilities are. I even dont let my mom decide what is good for me. I decide what is right coz it is my life. Cant she take decisions for herself?Well bro thanks for the advice , I am never pessimistic about this small glitch in our relationship though .... I just got rejected recently what lies ahead is yet to be seen.....
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25135)
• Australia
14 May 09
It just proves to me that this Mum will never think someone is good enough for her "baby". And the daughter is still too immature to stand on her own two feet and make her own decisions. If your girlfriend truly loved you, she would be convincing her Mama thet you are Mr Wonderful any way she can...but she chooses to stay with her mother even though her mother is judging you without meeting you...so unfair. I'm so sorry, but this mother has put you in a NO WIN situation...your lady had to choose...you or her mother and she did not choose you.
2 people like this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
12 May 09
I do not know from which country you are. But in our part of world, it is very much there. you may love her, but it seems she is not so much in love. Else she could have made her mom understand.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
12 May 09
I never doubt her love for me though and never force her to convince her mom just yet. Maybe when time come that things would go different way this time thats the time she have to decide but for now I just let it be.
2 people like this
@carolscash (9498)
• United States
11 May 09
I am not sure of what her moms mean by saying that but it sounds like to me that she doesn't want her daughter with anyone as eventually every couple has problems in their relationship. I don't think that is a reason to not be together. Why does she not like you? If there is not a reason, then I say that you should try to convince her that you love her daughter and want to be with her. I think that your girlfriend should fight for the relationship too.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
I think for now better get to know her mother first is the best move then who knows right everything might actually turn out right. I am nit sure about that too my friend, and I think in time I would know why, for now I will see what I can do...
1 person likes this
@mzj033y (185)
• United States
11 May 09
I know how you feel. You are almost there to live the life that you want with your most loved and then you got rejected by her mom. I don't think your girlfriend will give you up based on her mom's deision. Maybe her mom had a bad experienced relationship wise or even marriage. Love is enough but you need to show her mom that you love her. Try doing something nice for her mom. Like yesterday was mother's day, did you give something to her, as in she might be your mother in law. Every little thing count. So if she sees that you care about her daughter and even take time to care for her mom, then she knows that her daughter has found a very good husband. I wish you the best of luck. Be Strong!
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
thanks for the luck and the boost mzj033y. If only I am near there place thats a big minus now coz we are worlds apart. I got the rejection news yesterday how ironic can that be.well I got your point and everyone say so too. Someday when I meet with her I think I also have to have a chat with her mom. And we are not yet considering marriage for now.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 May 09
That is so sad to hear. But if i were in the situation of the clear that would be mean that she's not really ready for true love and relationship. otherwise she would be arguing with her mom and accept the consequences. which in this case, she's not ready for that. and that's the reason why she didn't fight for you.. don't worry she'll come around some day. when she's ready for you.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Somehow I would agree that she is not yet ready for this kind of thing since I am her first love and come to think of it I havent actually seen her in person yet. I was hoping that one of this days I would meet her even just to see her. How wonderful that would be. I hope too my friend that she would come around, then I would be the luckiest and the happiest man in the whole wild world.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
11 May 09
That is very hard. I hope you can still try to work on this. Try to be closer to her mom sincerely. Be his friend first....I do know if that is possible with your situation but I am sure if her mom will see that you are serious and sincere, I am sure she will trust you!
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Closer hmmm I will talk to her first in the net I guess well thats the only way we can be closer and every time we talk we need an interpreter.lol hmmm this ones gonna be harder than I thought.thanks for the boost my friend.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
11 May 09
i'm so sorry to hear about your situation... i don't understand why your girl friend's mum is rejecting you... may be you have to sit down and talk to her heart to heart and shows her that you are a good enough man for her daughter... you need to prove to her and build her trust in you... your girlfriend has to support you as well and speak of your good things in front of her mum... it all takes time... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
That too I guess building trust... well I want my girl to speak honestly about me to her mom not only the good side but also the other side of me. Thank your for wishing me luck and take care too my friend.
1 person likes this
@bluescat (104)
• Philippines
11 May 09
...Does your girlfriend really loves you??? Don't let her mom to be a burden to both of you,it's your decision and hers ,as long as both of you are true to each other...you'll be together for life if God wills it.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
We both feel the same way for each other but I guess mine is stronger enough to hole us both till one of us want to let go. Yes you are right my friend if He is willing anything is possible.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6344)
• India
11 May 09
Ask her mom straightly,what she expects from you to be a husband for her daughter.If you can fulfill it,then go ahead.If not,there is no reason for you to waste time on a girl who respects her mother more than you.I feel very sad for you.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Well first of I didn't told her mom yet that I am asking her daughters hand in marriage, we only told her that we have a relationship, but as we know parent do think in advance so thats why she reacted in advance as well. I havent set my best foot out front yet and have been moved backward already. I didnt let her choose between me and her mom for I love her so much who she love I also love who she respect i also respect. my friend thank you for your concern on me but this is what they call life full of challenges.... It would all depend now on how we take all this challenges right....
1 person likes this
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Hi, HelScream. I agree with mike9 up there. Do things that would please the mom. It would do no good to antagonize your girlfriend's mother. We have to understand that a mother wants only what is good for her child. Thus, she probably rejected you because she suspects that her daughter would have a hard time if she would be with you. Show her otherwise. Convince her. Take care
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
My friend if only I am near her but we are miles apart... how can I do this. I know theres no excuse even distance could not tear us apart but convincing her mom would somehow be difficult for me for now. I really have to talk to her. And that is so far the right thing for me to do as of now.
1 person likes this
@ShellyB (5242)
• United States
11 May 09
I am sorry. I am not sure why your girlfriend's mom is against you two being together, but you are right, your girlfriend needs to fight for you as well. And if she has given up there is very little to do for the moment. She might change her mind tho. I wish you good luck.
2 people like this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Thanks for wishing me luck my friend I need that.Well You are right though, for now I just let it pass and go on with the relationship even knowing I can't never have her.
1 person likes this
@flagella08 (5067)
• Philippines
12 May 09
maybe she means you should be financially stable. it's usually what most moms look for in their future in laws especially if the have the girls. you can't blame her if that's the problem. she just want her daughter to be financially secure especially in this height of time. try to resolve the problem in that aspect. i hope this helps. good luck.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
12 May 09
Well yeah that thing is what I am thinking about as well thats why I think I have to double time I guess lol well work work work anything just for my love I guess.
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 May 09
yeah for love can't be eaten.love will vanish if there is nothing on the table anymore.we're talking about facts here. i hope i didn't offend anyone.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
12 May 09
as I said on my discussion love can move mountains meaning love can do anything for the person he or she love. And this one is a fact too. Thats a practical way of saying things and yes in real world sometimes people tend to forget the responsibility that goes with love. But for me now I only want whats best for the women I eve love.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe her mom would want to see you successful first before she allowed you to be her daughter's boyfriend. Her mom would want to be sure that you can take care of her daughter before letting you take care of her. Prove yourself to her mom that you can. If you really love her, you can do that, and I know you know what I mean.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
13 May 09
Oh no need to be sorry for that my friend. Well thats a probability too and I am thankful for her concern as a parent. Well come to think of it though it would really be great to know if a person would love you or even would accept you for who you are and not of what you have right.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 May 09
Yes, I believe your girlfriend love you for who you are. But her parents would love you for what you have :P
1 person likes this
@csrobins (1124)
• United States
12 May 09
How old is she? If she is younger than it’s probably good she listens to her mom because her mom is much wiser and more experienced. If she is older than she needs to learn to think for herself and use her mom’s advice as guidance in making her own decisions. I got no clue about the love statement though…I don’t know what that means and I don’t think she does either. It sounds like she doesn’t even know what love is.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
13 May 09
I guess what she mean about it is theres more thing far important than love if you involve yourself into something serious as marriage. She is 24 and I am 30 . For now I will just let her be and let her think things over so she would have space and wont be pressured about all this.
1 person likes this
@csrobins (1124)
• United States
13 May 09
Oh, I see, yeah, that is a very wise statement come to think of it
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
12 May 09
In order for you to fully understand there are two basic things you must know. First you need to look at yourself and see you through her mothers eyes. That may be very hard to do and leads to the second thing you need to know. What is her mother's background with men? If she has had bad relationships herself she is much more likely to look out for the same characteristics in any man that is with her daughter. If she see something that she has experienced before she will advise her daughter accordingly. One example may be how industrious you are. Are you still in school? Are you working and making money? This is especially important if you are out of school. Are you going or have you been to college? This is a major indicator as to how well you will do in life and her mother needs to know that you will be able to take care of her daughter as well as love her. This may be where her statement came from. There is so much more to marriage than love. Love is only one component to a successful and happy marriage. Do you think these things are not important? To a mother who wants only the very best for her daughter this is very important. So even though you may not have a chance with this one you need to answer your own questions. Why? When you find that out you will have the tools you need to begin to get it right. And once that happens, and if your girl friend loves you she may very well come back. Don't work for that however, do it for yourself.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
13 May 09
Well that was a very well explained facts and I do get what you mean by all this things. First I introduced myself as a boyfriend so her mom would know my intentions for her daughter is clear... I know I to am still building my future for now.... thats why I understood why her mom told this soo. If she see my side clearly I know she would come to understand that I would do everything to have a better future for her daughter I only want whats best for her so for now, I am going to build my future not only for her but for myself and hoping that one day her mom would learn to accept me when the time comes that I would ask again her daughter in marriage.
2 people like this
• United States
17 May 09
From what you say here I can see you know exactly what is important and will do what ever it takes to make this happens. Good for you. You are on the right track and I really believe that one day you will have both of them on your side. I wish you the very best for your future no matter where it goes.