I'm confused are we just friends or there is a chance to be us???

Cebu, Philippines
May 12, 2009 12:15am CST
We've been friends for almost four years now and we've been doing what boyfriends/girlfriends does. It's just that were not committed to each other. He's acting like a jealous guy, but everytime I asked him why he's acting so weired where in fact were not "US" officially us. And he knew that I love him so much but he keeps on telling me that he doesn't want any committment as of the moment because he's lazy and doesn't know how to take care of the relationship..according to him it will be just like his previous relationship that fails..IF we will be together. But then he sent me a text message stating that, "Loving a person is like standing under the rain,eventhough you know isn't right" i completely confused what he meant by this! So my question is, do we have a chance to be together??? I need your advice
2 people like this
3 responses
• Philippines
12 May 09
Wew! I'm also confused..... one thing for sure, just don't expect something to happen between you and your "friend". Perhaps, if he really loves you he will not afraid to do such, try someone new, and love again. Being lazy I think is also one thing you should be aware of..My dear you deserved someone special.
1 person likes this
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
But the thing is I'm not attracted to anybody.. I love him so dearly and can't even move on! Everytime we fought and told him I'll forget you from now on.. He keeps on texting me like...AHhh, it's because you didn't get what you wanted your leaving me just like that??? so it end up nothing's change....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 May 09
I also feel the same way and I understand you more. As girls, all we wanted is to love, be loved, and be respected. Did you ever ask him "Why................?" maybe he has the deepest answer to that, with regards to your present situation. You are honest and loyal as I said you deserved someone who will love you more however, loving that person dearly will only bring you heartaches for he is 100% free to do what he wants, he can get and be committed to other girls he likes. Just learn to love yourself girl you are beautiful and Im sure there is "One right person" for you.
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
i did asked him why but he always say...don't pressure me please.. and i shut up!
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
12 May 09
Hi ccara! I believe that there's a big chance that the two of you will become more than friends. What's stopping him is his fear of making another mistake by getting in a relationship. For now, you're the girl who is closest to his heart and it would just be a matter of time right? As long as you maintain your closeness to eachother, i can't see why it won't progress into a romantic relationship. Don't you think you should feel blessed? Because the guy seems to be more careful with you because he doesn't want the relationship gone to waste that's why he is taking it slow. I'm just curious though, you mentioned that you are doing what boyfriend and girlfriend are doing. Does it include the S word? If it does, then you might take a backseat because that could be the reason that's stopping him. He might be thinking that there's a possibility that you'll do it with another friend.
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
YEs it does include with an 'S'..but were not doing it often. It just happen without knowing it that we did. Sometimes I feel like I'm loved by him but there are times I don't..he's like trying to push me away by hurting me verbally but it doesnt coincide with his actions..its the other way around...don't know what to do, makes me confused more
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
12 May 09
I understand. Sometimes "S" just happens when you least expect it. Yeah, i guess it's his way of creating a gap by telling you something you don't want to hear but as you said, action speaks louder than words. If he truly doesn't care, he won't get jealous but i'm also afraid that he's just being selfish. For now, i guess it's best for you not to dwell on it too much. I mean as long as it's not affecting any aspects of your life except of course the romantic aspect. Just be careful with the S or you might get pregnant.
1 person likes this
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
well speaking of pregnant..we've been talking about it, one time there is this cute little girl crying while eating spaghetti one of the fastfood chain we went to..and he just started talking to that little and and suddenly he's telling me like " It's so nice to have something like that right?" and when i just looked at him since i couldn't find any words to respond, he told me repeatedly til I said.."yeahh" and asking me when he can have little girl and eventually told him "i dont know "...you know what's on my mind? I wish I was the person he wish to be the mom of his cute lil girl haaayyy..
@punlonnjack (1309)
• United States
12 May 09
it kinda sounds like he is playing hard to get or he wants his cake and eat it too.you have giving him permission per say that hey we will play together but your allowed to do what ever you want cause were not committed.girl you give tell him it one way or the other.you two will only be friends or you want more.......maybe he is just scared to have you as a girlfriend because youve been such good friends and he doeant wont to spoil it.but listen your not getting any younger.search your heart and tell him to do the same. you two are probably a great couple and look at the time you are wasting playing friends.ask him what he wants from you.if its only friendship let him know your ready to find a man to share your life with.....hope that helped and wasnt to forward.good luck and God bless.
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
As i assessed my feelings, I'm not ready to get rid of him because I know I cant. My life would be meaningless if i do that. I'm not ready to face another day without him, I tried to forget him like i didn't send any messages for 2 weeks and the time he texted me saying " I missed you " i end up replying to his text messages..so how can I move on?
1 person likes this
• United States
12 May 09
just make him think you are moving on.make him more jealous then when he gets upset let him know you need more from him then just friendship.you dont have to let him go just back off just a bit and see if he responds. Good luck hun.hes sounds like his gonna be a hard one to break and make him yours forever but it can be done.
• Cebu, Philippines
12 May 09
yeahh i think so he told me a saying once " Even a hardest stone can be break by constant droplet of water " what does he mean? HE told me that when i asked him do you love me? and that's the reply i got from him