What is next in my relationship?

Nepal
May 14, 2009 2:49am CST
I often use to argue with her. She never came front of me to quarrel me. She use to tolerate me everytime. I was only the reason for such condition. I use to act wild and weired and rude with her. She didn't liked that but this doesn't mean that she didn't like me. She loves me a lot and I know she still loves me and will be loving me. But today something unusual happened, I crossed my limit. We have very conservative society here. A boy must not touch a girl, type of conservativeness. Either in hands, arms, cheeks or elsewhere... We use to touch each other often and hold her hand especially while crossing road. But today the touch was unusual. She suddenly made me angry, which was not her intention, she is innocent and always innocent. My anger crossed the limit and I ran towards her and held her hand with hard grip, she was trying to avoid it but my grip was harder. People around us were watching us. She asked me to leave her hands again and again then after some while I left her hands. And shouted at her, roared, and scolded her so much. Then I left her from that place. But she kept following me and called me from her cell but i rejected the call. Then I waited for her at the corner of the footpath. Then she came and asked me,'what happen to you?' I didn't replied. Then I again started to scold her. My anger crossed the limit again and I punched her in her arms hardly and pinched at the back of neck. She cried and then our relation's first two sided quarrel started. She also started to scold me because she was innocent here and was not doing any mistake. She kept scolding me whole the way to the college. But we both went to college together, but she was pretending that she was just neglecting me and avoiding me. But she acted with me as a stranger. Didn't talked with me a bit. I made her upset. I lowered her prestige in this society. Yes I did wrong. As soon as she got angry I calmed down and I asked for sorry but what is that sorry? I must not ask for forgiveness it is shamefull to ask sorry with her after doing all this mess. I am feeling so much guilty. She is now not responding me. I don't want any forgiveness from her. Condition may reach to there where she may leave me and end up this relationship right here. But I don't want to leave her. I need her. Anything left to do is to wait for her. I am sure that she'll oneday obviously return back to me. And i hope that day is just after few hours... I love her but i don't know how do i love her. I just feel like that I love her thats why I care her. What do you think? what will happen next in my relationship?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
14 May 09
I guess you owe her an apology. You should not treat the girl you love like that. I understand the conservativeness of your society and if your girl wants to follow that you should respect her if you truly loved her. What I saw from you is you disrespected her being the girl who loves you. She has done everything in her power to tolerate your behavior but you seem to overpower her which for me is wrong. When you love a person you should respect her and not put her down whenever you feel like to. You need to learn how to respect to earn respect from her.
• Nepal
14 May 09
Ya you are right. I don't respect her. I don't respect her feelings. I utilized her a lot. :( I am feeling so much guilty about that. I loved her but didn't respected her feelings, emotions and values. She is really a nice girl, now she morphed to something else. I apologized her, but i know i think i don't deserve it as all this happened. My anger, my selfishness. I am feeling so much guilty. :(
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
14 May 09
Starting to realize that you committed wrong is a start. The next thing that you should do is reforming that bad attitude. That will make you a better person and then promise yourself that you will not be that person and reform for her to love again with respect for her. Asking for forgiveness is a very good gesture on your part and I truly believe that if she really loves you she may forgive you if she feels that you are sincere in your efforts towards her.
1 person likes this
• Nepal
14 May 09
Definitely, I'll beg her for apologies. I really miss her :(
@earnnings (1325)
• India
14 May 09
My next relation would be with my husband..i am not yet married and the relation is going to to be true in few months.. i think after i get bondage with my husband then only i can give you how well is my relation with him. As far as i know i am very committed, possessive, have many feelings, jovial and mostly strong believer of true person..:)
1 person likes this
• Nepal
14 May 09
I think we both have same feelings and habits...