Friends, Forever? Really?

United States
May 15, 2009 1:57am CST
*note* this is taken from a book that I've been writing for years, and still have yet to finish! lol!** I don't think you can hear the word "friend" without it being followed by the word "forever". it's the nicest sentiment that ever tagged behind a word... Yet, the chances of it ever becoming a reality is almost as likely as finding the fountain of youth! I know what you are thinking! you are thinking I'm probably a cynical fool who has nothing better to do than think depressing thoughts... yet, hear me out! I have had some amazing friendships in my life! some that I would have bet the world on lasting forever or as close to forever as you can get... yet, I would have lost that bet. And the cause of it ceasing to exist anymore was not a fight, a death or even a natural conflict of interests. It was caused by something that we both had in common... LIFE! Yes, Life happened! I had one friend that never leaves my thoughts, she and I came so close to having this thing called "forever". But life happened on the journey to "foreverville"... that made the road before us fork, then branch off in opposite directions, and kept moving down the road called "I've been meaning to call you". This one particular friend and I shared an amazing friendship that was filled with everything you could hope to have in a friendship. We had a trust and bond that surpassed any friendship I'd ever known before or since in my life. we met in the 5th grade and maintained a close relationship that followed us into our 30's. We went through all the bumps and bruises of puppy loves, crushes, growing pains, marriage, pregnancies, and the baby blues ... We even had 2 of our kids only weeks apart! later we shared her miscarriage... and the cancer (and later) the death of her mother and the pain of losing some important people in my life... and the news of my oldest son's diagnosis of being diabetic.. and some of the most heartbreaking events that life served us... no subject was off limits. we were after all the best of friends! Looking back we survived so many things together and shared daily joys and struggles with each other.. and had memories to laugh about while sharing a bag of oreo's and a bottle of wine! then the enviable happened... Life! She had 4 children while I had three (she always had to go one step further than me! lol) As our families grew our time together grew more and more sparse. Of course living in the same small town (within 15 minutes apart) and our children attending the same school... we run into each other often and things have noticeable changed. We still laugh about the old times and reflect on the hard times that we've shared and promise to get together, but the time just isn't there! When she is free, my schedule is packed and when I'm free she is bogged down with her responsibilities. We both married.. and being a wife carries it's own bag of responsibilities.. along with being a mother of 3 very active children.. leaves little time to do much else. I have something that time will never take away... I have memories of a friendship that carried me through some really important events in my life. It was wonderful when I had another human being who I could trust with the most fragile subjects and never seemed to not have the best advice. I could count on her to always be there, no matter what.. and I actually got back more than I gave.. though she says that she thinks that she was the one who got more than she gave. She is no longer the painfully shy 5 th grader that would miss a day of school so she wouldn't have to walk across a stage to get an award for being smart.. and I'm not the little girl who felt I belonged nowhere to nobody. I wonder what we would have became had we not had each other to rely on during those days? I miss my friend so much and I have looked for her in other people, and never finding the one true friend that could take her place. I feel like an orphan... lost and deathly alone. Perhaps her purpose was to only be there through the beginning of my journey... but now what? I don't want to go through my remaining years without a best friend! I have friends, I've always had friends, but being without a best friend creates a loneliness that has no description or word. there isn't someone I can call in the middle of the night and tell them that I'm scared because my doctor appointment went terribly wrong... someone I don't have to be strong around.. I can fall apart and it's OK.. I want my best friend that will cry with me and let me cry and not expect me to "shake it off" and "be adult about it". I miss that! I have no one that I can confide in and trust that it will never go any further... someone I can tell about the fight that I had with my husband.. and how it was all HIS fault and have them agree.. I have no one to eat a bag of oreo's with and complain about how the kids are driving me crazy... there is no one that cares enough about ME to lose even 5 minutes of sleep to talk to me when I can't sleep because I can't get my mind to shut off long enough. There is no one to fill up the empty silence that is so loud that I can hear my own breath... there is no one to listen as I lay down my days thoughts and help me sort out what I should keep and what is just useless information. I have no one that gives me compliments about the most ordinary things that others over look. No one in my corner when life feels like a war and a battle of wits to survive. I miss having someone that thinks of me first when they hear the word "friend". God! I miss being first to someone who isn't related to me or married to me... someone who cares enough to know when something isn't right... even when I'm smiling. Someone who knows that when I have the giggles that I'm really hiding the fact that I'm hurting inside and feel like I'm dying. Someone that knows that when I'm being a clown for the world, I'm not doing it because I'm happy.. I'm doing it because I'm sad and feeling worthless... and it's my way of cheering myself up. While I feel sorry for myself for what I no longer have.. I know that I've been extremely blessed to have ever had a friendship like that. I have came so close to finding a replacement and just as I thought I'd found that best friend.. they just turn and walk away. Maybe we are only allowed one best friend and when it ends... that's it!... we are just lucky to have whatever we can get after that.. I don't know. Being in my early forties now, I know that (at best...) I have fewer years ahead of me than years behind me. my time is running out.. and I need a best friend. Forever isn't that far away now... but I don't want to walk the final path... alone. DO you have that ONE friend that you will never forget? [i](c)copyright 2006 Little_Stormy (source: ME) (written by: ME) [/i]
4 people like this
8 responses
@sconibear (8011)
• United States
15 May 09
2 people like this
• United States
15 May 09
well..... yer cheap enough! *looks in mouth* *turns bear around and looks* and ya ain't too worn out! *feels bears nose to see if it's wet* are ya healthy? oh! chit! I'll take ya! come one! I you bear!! P.S. stop peeing my my bedroom window
2 people like this
• United States
15 May 09
ya pee on my wall at facebook! hahaha!
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
15 May 09
Oh stormy you made me cry! I cried tears for the treasure I had in my best friend. I do still see her occasionally but over the years our lives have taken very different directions. I have a husband and a young child and she had two adult children and a husband who recently became her ex. We used to live together and we shared more than living space, she knows me better than I know myself I'm sure. We used to talk on the phone for hours; these days I don't have five minutes for a phone call let alone a heart to heart; how I miss those! We used to share everything. It hurts to remember; so I go about my busy life while planning to visit her 'one day'; did you know she recently became a grand mother and I have not seen the baby yet? Yes, 'one day' I'll get there. I do have a friend that I will never forget and just like you I feel very lonely without her. I miss her and I miss the life we shared when we were best friends.
2 people like this
• United States
15 May 09
Awwww Paula.... I am so glad I met you here! I love your tender heart and sweet responses.. thank you for being my friend :)
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
16 May 09
Thank you Stormy!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 09
Stormy, YES I DO!!!! His name is JESUS!! He will never leave you nor forsake you...A Friend indeed...
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
I totally agree! but human friends are pretty awesome to have too!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
Ask God to lead a person into your life that will be what you need. He is willing and able above and beyond....Wish I could be there to be that friend..but you have one on line if you need to ever talk.. :) God Bless You!!! Judi
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
Thank ya :) I appreciate you! *hugs*
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 09
I am sorry to hear that you both have not had the time to come together to be close friends again. In reality I have only had 5 supposed to be Best buds forever thing. Weird thing that 4 of them were while I was still in school 8 and 9 into 10th grade. But I lost 2 friends when we moved to another place and we didn't have a phone..we tried writing at first and kept up but it started dwindling. My third and fourth ones we were real close shared everything but our boyfriends..and were like sisters almost. But then I went nutty married at 16 and we called each other but my mother in law used to get mad when they called me at her house. SO that stopped when she told them not to call back we tried the writing thing and as with the first two dwindled to nothing. I don't see one at all and rarely every few years or more see the other at a store in passing. Not like it used to be..almost uncomfortable really. And lastly...Well, She is my sister in law but after she(and her husband and two kids) moved in for what was supposed to be 2-3 weeks that ended up being over 8 months...... well, things started going down hill a bit..and totally stalled when I gained weight. So it has been about 9 years since I had a close friend to confide in..gab about everything and anything..But when I gained weight and got to little over 300 lbs.. I was told I was to fat to get in their car. So shocked was I that I was hit hard with a bad bout of depression which I drawled into my little clam and which took me 6 months to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But when I emerged I was different. Off were my rose colored glasses that I had viewed the world in and our friendship. Since I wasn't able to go with her places anymore she got my other slimmer sister in law to go and I was pushed into the background as a afterthought but never again asked to go anywhere..the friendship no longer exist. We associate at family gatherings the ones I force my self to go to on occasion and maybe she calls every now and then when she needs me to do something or my husband but..all is lost..so I have just been drifting on by myself..no friends but those here at mylot that I made within the last year of the over three years I been here..So I guess forever just doesn't exsist........
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 09
I am so sorry that you had a mother in law that didn't allow you friends... that is sad beyond words.. on a brighter side.. I count you as one of my really good friends here!
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
17 May 09
Thanks Stormy, it does my heart good to know that.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
[i]DO you have that ONE friend that you will never forget? [/i] I have several that I will never forget, even though we have gone separate ways as the years have passed. Each person who comes into my life is there for a reason, and when the reason for them being there is taken care of, they move on, and another comes along. But, that doesn't mean that the ones before are any less important to me. Some of them I still have contact with, although a bit more limited than before the reason was resolved. My friends are a very important part of my life, and they are all very special, regardless of how close our contact. *Kisses you on the forehead, trying to distract you while I pinch you on the butt* Runs out of the room and back into my hole.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
awwwww! *bends forward for head kissin' and spits gum down Bo's bra* heheheheh!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
16 May 09
This is really beautiful, stormy! You should publish excerpts! Wouldn't it be great if relationships came and went as naturally and peacefully as most friendships?
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
Thank you :) yes, but then life would be too perfect! :D
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 09
That is so sweet. I am 25 and I have come to realize the fact that you just have to depend on your self and once you have kids usually friends are a thing of the past. There is so little time left to do stuff with them.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
Isn't THAT the truth!?
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
Nice Job, I found one error I believe and I thought I saw another and only friends can point out errors so forgive me for being a professor of English while reading your work that I think is awesome... This line I think the word should be inevitable? then the enviable happened... I'll post the other one if I find it again. Gives Stormy an A+ for being a friend which comes with the perks and privileges only permitted by and for friends, really good friends. (((Hugs)))
• United States
17 May 09
Ahhh, I found it, Noticeable should be noticeably in this line... and things have noticeable changed. Forgive me for proof reading, but the way I read what you wrote I thought you might want to know because this might later require proof reading. Just a thought to share.
• United States
17 May 09
thanks :) I always appreciate my errors being pointed out.. seriously! this is only a copy of the rough draft, the actual story is written in a note book (with even more errors! lol) and I was typing so fast that things just happen! lol! I can out type my brain most times! lol! hugs!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 09
I read above about life being too perfect, I want a more perfect life...