Should I lend 5000 yuan to my friend ?

@youetme (351)
China
May 15, 2009 7:36am CST
One of my girl friend bought a new house that cost her 100 thousand yuan. Now she has taken new lock of her own house . So she has to think about how to makeup the house . But she has not enough money so she pleased me to lend 5000 yuan to her . But I am not rich ,either . I have some money that is earned by work hard . I know if I lend her money I have to take a risk . She can't return money to me in a year . I am worring about this . I am afraid of that I will do something to use these my money . So I am confused what I should do?
2 people like this
11 responses
@kareng (53375)
• United States
15 May 09
Very simple. Say NO! Tell her you don't have much money saved and it is put away for an emergency. Furnishing her house is not an emergency. Times are tough and anyone should understand wanting to save for a rainy day. Don't feel bad and worry much over this. If she is a true friend, she will understand. I wouldn't even ask a friend for this kind of loan. So she bought a house. If she over spent, she will just have to wait to furnish it nicely. She will have to save and do a little bit at a time perhaps or do without for awhile. That is her problem and not yours. Relax and just say no.
@Hedwig (283)
• China
15 May 09
I think if you are not rich enough, maybe you shouldnt lend her the money. As you have said, the house cost your friend 100 thousand yuan ,so this is unlikely that she will be able to pay your money back in a short period. Maybe it will take several years for her to get enough money to return you. Try to explain your situation to her, she will understand.
1 person likes this
@ahslack (484)
• Singapore
15 May 09
Although it is good to help a friend,but you must look whether you can afford to borrow the money anot,if you are rich,i do think that you will lend her immediately,but from what you said,you are not so rich,so you must see whether you have enough for yourself after lending her.And is she a reliable friend?Is her characteristics worthy for you to lend her the money and will she return you back?So you must think of this factors before you can decide whether to lend her the money anot.
1 person likes this
@aikhong (661)
• Malaysia
15 May 09
Hm...helping a friend is a good thing to do, indeed. However, you need to consider on a few aspects too, including your own situation. If you're not in the situation that allows you to lend her so much of money, perhaps it's better for you to explain to her. I believe she'll understand your point of view, since she's your close friend. Or maybe you can lend her some money, but just not that much until you'll feel worry she's unable to return to you. I think that will help her to some extent too. Don't worry. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 09
I would not lend her the money. I understand why she wants to borrow the money, but that is something she should have thought about before she purchased a house! It seems that she doesnt always think things through. I say that only because she bought a house, but didnt think about the money she would need to make any improvements or buy things she needs for the house. If she cant think about those things, how will she think about other unexpected expenses? I would simply say to your friend that you would help her out if you could, but you just arent able to. This isnt a lie. It is your money that you will someday need for yourself. Maybe when you buy your own house or car. The chances of her returning it dont seem very high, so it doesnt sound like a good investment on your part! I hope your friend understands when you tell her no. Sometimes we do have to simply take care of ourselves!
1 person likes this
@jtine23 (41)
• United States
15 May 09
charity is always a wonderful thing, but if you're not in a position to lend so much (with such a large risk, too) then explain to her that you're just unable to help her in such a large way. times are tough, and i'm sure she'd understand.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
16 May 09
What you do is really up to you. Consider how well you know this friend.Has she been trustworthy in the past? Has she borrowed money before and not returned it ? It might help to make yourself a list of pros and cons of lending the money. I found that list making helps me when I make hard decisions.
@jickyeung (201)
• Hong Kong
16 May 09
Hi youetme. It sounds strange that your friend has 100 thousand yuan to buy a house, but doesn't have 5000 yuan for decorating the house. In my opinion, she seems to have some problems in managing the use of money. If you really lend her, she may not give you back! I don't know 5000 yuan to you is a big money or not. But my belief is that, once you have lend money to your friend, you really cannot expect that he/she will give you back later. If you cannot accept this, the end result is not just a matter of money, but also your friendship - can you accept a friend you borrow you money, but won't give you back? Therefore, if you cannot accept this to happen, I suggest you better not lend her money, and tell her that you have your own difficult.
@youetme (351)
• China
16 May 09
To be honest I wouldn't like to lend money to her because although she is my friend she has a big mouth and always spreads some gossip at our office . She ever told everyone she borrowed 10 thousand yuan from her atimate friend . After she returned all the money to her friend she didn't thank her friend . So I can't accept her attitude whatever she should thank her another friend .
@prinzcy (32326)
• Malaysia
15 May 09
Hmm...tough situation here. You can refuse and say no but she might hate you for that. Or give her the money and take the risk of she's not paying you back and you'll hate her back for that. I would prefer my friend to hate me. 5000 yuan is a lot of money. During this time of recession, it's not a wise idea to lend someone, even your friend such high amount. Not just you might need to use it, you might lose it if she can't pay you back (or she don't pay you back at all) Just explain the situation to her, tell her that you can't as you need to use money too.
• Philippines
16 May 09
be true to her and tell her what is your current situation. talk to her about this matter and ask her if she can pay the money back as soon as possible, there is nothing to be afraid of to ask this matter because this will be the best way way to solve the problem.
@bevanma (29)
• China
15 May 09
Do not lend the money to her. Because, makeup the house is not the first urgent, or necessary thing you have to do. And she can absolutely makeup her house once available. Let's imagine,once makeup complete, she will have seat in her new house and eat the delicious food with warm sunshine, and you have to keep working. It is unfair to you. But, if you feel shame to reject, also could lend her some which you can afford. Or else, just take a little lie to her directly.
@youetme (351)
• China
16 May 09
Yes , I think over again and again . I am afaid of huring her but I can't afford such load because I need money ,too.My sister has warined me times she said I should be so honest to others and friendship has nothing with money . I feel shamed of refusing to tell her.
• Malaysia
16 May 09
I like this idea,,doing the makeup of a house is not something ineveitble, she should content with the current set-up, and she can do it latter when she can afford..there is a famous saying in my native language which means" That if knife is of gold you can't just stabe it in your stomach.. so advise her to wait for the right time and don't rush for it..
• China
16 May 09
You could tell her your finance condition honestly and directly. I think she will understand. And don't be feazed by this thing, just tell her. Maybe she had settled the problem already.