Not your average 22 year old.
By kiss_me2070
@kiss_me2070 (277)
May 15, 2009 5:39pm CST
I have a friend who is 22yrs old and she's not your average 22 yr old. She's a lovely girl, but has a habit of wearing the same clothes all the time to work, out clubbing and even on her day's off. It's like she hasn't got anything else to wear. I have mentioned to her before that she has a hygiene problems as I thought it was better coming from me than a stranger.
She was then off with me for a few days then started talking to me again, the thing is though she still continues to wear the same clothes and she still has her hygiene problems and I am now gettign very embarrassed to go out with ehr at weekends.
Opinion please, what should I do?
2 people like this
19 responses
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
16 May 09
When I was reading the first sentence, I really thought we're talking about a uniform, lol... coz that would mean really the same everyday. Does she smell? And are you sure she doesn't wash her clothes before wearing them again? Coz that may be the case, its wash and wear, lol. There's also a chance she has same color for each clothes... but if its not the case, then maybe she left home and she got nothing to wear. She may either have no enough budget to buy good ones and "new" ones... I'm not familiar with other cultures and i'm sure that there are those who hardly take a bath just to abide with it.
Or worse, she's lazy... she doesn't care for her personal hygiene and does not want to wash clothes. If you care much about her, you can ask her first about the reasons why she keeps on wearing the same clothes "indirectly", you really don't need to focus on the clothes coz that will really offend her in some way. Try to listen to her first coz there maybe some good reason why she does that.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24172)
• United States
15 May 09
That is very strange.Most people that age can't even grasp the thought that it is alright just to wear the same pants two days in a row.Did you ask her why she does that? Maybe she cannot afford to get more clothes.
I would just go on from there and start going thru my own clothes in privacy and find a few things that you can give away.Then in front of her start packing them up to give away telling her what you are doing.Then suddenly stop at one shirt,dress whatever, and hold it up to her saying something like,"This looks really good for you." And see if she agrees.Then just say that she can have it.
I hope whatever you decide to do works out.
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
16 May 09
Well im 22 years old and as most females have clothes comming out the ears however i myself dont have alot of clothes either. Maybe she cant afford to buy any clothes right now as i cant myself....But i do have a reason i dont buy new clothes every time i turn around...considering i have 2 children that need mroe than i myself do. Buy her a pair of pants and shirt maybe she'll wear them...as far as a hygiene problem um i myself wouldnt go off with anyone with that kinda problem need to take a shower more often or something...im a blunt person so id let it be known and make sure she heard me and understand what i was saying. But if your not really a blunt person then gently tell her that its not good to have these problems? lol maybe that will work.
@kylaerin (145)
• United States
16 May 09
is she just wearing the same clothes over and over or does she not shower properly? I know alot of college students who don't have help from mom and dad and only own two pairs of pants and so they wear them over and over..of course they wash them. Maybe they are her comfortable clothes. You were not specific on the hygiene aspect I mean if she smells bad you should tell her before someone else does but if its just her clothes accept it for who she is and move on.
@kiss_me2070 (277)
•
17 May 09
She does always wear the same clothes. She may not alos shower properly its hard to tell.
I have told her she smells bad. If she's comfortable wearing the same clothes all the time I accept that and I accept her anyway as she's a great friend.
Just that I have mentioned to her about her hygiene problem before and things haven't improved.
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
15 May 09
That is very unclean. Have your friend gone to school? Were she taught about proper hygiene or just simply being clean to oneself? I wonder how many friends she's got because if I were you and she won't listen to what you have said then maybe I'd better avoid her. I understand that you are just concern with her and same her I will be doing the same. I hate unclean people especially with their own selves. If your friend does not have money then she should seek help so she can have other clothes. She should be cleaning the same cloth if she is really sick of wearing that over and over again. Cleanliness should be her priority and not her liking the same clothes.
@kylaerin (145)
• United States
16 May 09
You would avoid someone who was a good friend because they wore the same clothes over and over..that is horrible. School teaches you how to be it doesn't teach you how to be rich. I won't lie I wear the same jeans two days in a row sometimes and then wash them and wear them aagain or wear another pair of pants or shorts. I have some that are much more comfy then others and if your not out huffing and puffing in them they dont really get dirty. Also when your brought up the hygiene thing did you ask her if it was anything she needed help with? I had to have this talk with one of my employees one time because of body odor. The truth was she had to use a different deodorant because she ran out of her type and we hadnt got paid..the one she used was the only one that worked for her due to some sort of imbalance..which is not a rare thing..there are people that require special types of body wash and deodorant just to not smell bad due to their body PH....never ever should a friendship be judged from this though..thats like saying I c an't be your friend because your ugly or fat so you must not care about yourself and taking care of you...its just not right.
1 person likes this
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
18 May 09
Oh I am so sorry because I thought you mentioned that your friend "has a habit of wearing the same clothes all the time to work" so I thought she is the type that does not use other clothes or is just using few other clothes. I will not throw a good friend away but I will advice her to do what it takes to be clean. You never mentioned that she needs special treatment because of a PH problem. Because if the problem is with her health and not with the attitude then I guess that is a different thing. Pardon me if I misjudged her with that because I thought she has problem with wearing same clothes over and over again. But let me make it clear that what I understood is that she just had the habit of wearing the same clothes all the time to work and more. I do not judge friendship base on the physical look, I can even be friend with someone who is fat or thin or blind or anything. But if the problem lies with attitude then I'd better avoid someone. I will only avoid a friend if she does not listen to my advices that I think best for her. I will stay as her friend as long as she solves the problem. I myself admits that I wore jeans two to three times because they are not so dirty and washing them more often will only make them worn out faster.
@mikeley (318)
•
16 May 09
I have a friend with the same problem he always wears the same pair of jeans day in day out and rarely changes his t-shirt. He is a little bit on the smelly side and he knows it and he excuse for this is he cant be bothered to take a shower which i find lazy and gross. I have advised him that he should do something about his personal hygiene but he still carries on as normal and Ive accepted it cause hes a friend. As disgusting as it is maybe you should accept it cause at the end of the day she is a friend.
Mikey :)
@la_chique (1498)
•
16 May 09
Maybe she just really likes that outfit. Why not go clothes shopping with her. Maybe she lacks the confidence to try anything else. Even if she doesnt buy anything if you do go shopping, if you ask for her opinion on the chothes that you are buying, perhaps she'll feel more like expanding her wardrobe herself. You could pick out things and say "I couldnt pull that off, but it would look great on you!". Just little confidence boosts like that might help her.
@fanxiangqian (185)
• China
16 May 09
haha,the problem is too difficult to answer,in this case,as the friends,we must say carefuly,if we reminded too little,she will not undersand us,but if we say much,she will misunderstand,so you must pay attention to the way!good luck!
@dianmelydia (2269)
• Indonesia
16 May 09
Perhaps she has no interest with her another clothes. Are you sure that she wear a same clothes everyday? I think a girl, especially on her ages, would pay more attention for her own appearance. You may ask her the reason or if you're afraid of being hate by her after asking it i think you can buy her a new clothes. You can say that's a gift for her. Later just see whether she wear the new clothes or still with her old clothes. You may find the answer yourself after you give her new clothes. Good luck and have a nice day. Happy mylotting.
@caostheone (49)
•
16 May 09
i can give u idea....draw some cartoons ...showing ur situation...i think she will understand......haaaa.....dont mind pls..
@enruschew (247)
• Malaysia
16 May 09
she got other close friend???why don't you try to bring her to shopping complexes and change her style?I mean teach her how to wear what kind of shirt whenever she want go for working or clubbing?this is just my suggestion.
@gremar2009 (9)
• Philippines
16 May 09
for me or at my opinion,she is still your friend..avoid of getting embarass to her & by doing that just ignore her fashion or what ver clothes she likes to wear,time will come she will realize & aware of it soon
@IedynRose (79)
• United States
16 May 09
Firt I think we should clarify whatthe real issue here is. Are you concerned about cleanliness or upset because she wears the same things all the time. If She has Hygiene issue, then approach it from that standpoint. Perhaps offer to let her do laundry at your house or make a day of it at the laundrymat. If the issue is simply that she doesn't have more clothes (but she keeps what she has clean), then hate to break it to you but you need to look at yourself and figure out why something so trivial matters. In any event tell her how you feel, express your concern and offer solutions. Thats what a true friend should do in my opinion.
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 May 09
That is so sad... maybe she doesn't have the money to buy new clothes... i suggest that when there is a special occassion like her birthday, christmas, or even valentines day... give her clothes instead of other items as gifts... you can also help by encouraging your other friends to do this...
@jellymonty (2352)
•
16 May 09
I'm guessing its a lot more complicated than just her wearing the same clothes.. Maybe she has massive problems at home so she cant be bothered to look after herself. Or maybe like most people are saying here she's got no money to buy clothes but that's rather strange for a 22 year old. I would understand if she were 60 or 80... Or maybe she's one of them people that are so lazy that they don't realise they are lazy..
I suggest you sit her down and have a long chat with her and find out what's going on in her life and do the charitable thing and give her some of the clothes you dont wear often or buy her some new clothes.. She sounds like she's in deperate need of somebody's love and companionship.. I'm pretty sure its a psychological problem and not that she doesnt like changing clothes..
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
15 May 09
Well at 22 years old I would think if she had alot of clothes she would be changing it up, but maybe she doesn't have the money. If she smells then that is a bigger problem. But if the clothes are clean then you just deal with it. Or help her buy new clothes one outfit at a time! LOL LOL
@aakansha12 (183)
• India
15 May 09
May be she don't have enough money to buy new one for her . Or too lazy to change to new clothes . But its weird to see someone not in a habit of changing clothes . As you have already told her may be this time you sit with her and tell her gently that you care about her and she will look more good in another color dress or more pretty in new jeans in a market . You can just go together in a market and help her choose one dress then ask her to wear it in the office.
