Have you ever try helping someone and it felt wrong? I really need advice.
By cmofi123
@cmofi123 (344)
United States
May 16, 2009 12:37am CST
My oldest nephew got kicked out from school. On his very last year of High School. Since I have my own litle business going on, I decided to hired him. I'm not paying much, but it's a start.
I remember 8 years ago I was in the same exact situation and I hoped for someone to help me out. This is why I decided to help him out. I asked him, "What subject does it interests you the most? He doesn't know. Since he is still 17 I can't enroll him in college. I'm teaching him accounting, office management etc. The little that i know.
But, I'm starting to think that I'm not doing him a favor. He asked if his girlfriend could come and join him on Fridays, and I said yes. He is alone a couple of hours, so i thought someone should join him. The problem is: Now he tells me if he could come to work on Sat and Sun instead of Mon and Tues. I said why? He goes I don't feel like working those days. Then, I drop him off infront of his house and 2 hours later his dad is calling me if he is off from work.
Ok. Am I doing something wrong here? I wanted to be his mentor, not his get a way from home, so he could be with the girlfriend. I knoe I should leave this to mom and dad but they just don't care.
2 people like this
6 responses
@kherasakshi (391)
• India
16 May 09
first of all may i know why he is kicked out of the school?secondly as you told,I guess he is not so serious about his career.he is more interested in enjoying with his girlfriend.so first you should talk to him,you should make him understand that his career is more important,he should be serious,life is not so easy.Its all upto you,how you convince him.Tell him that you know he didn't go home that day when you dropped him.if necessary,tell him that you would talk to his parents about him & you can't help him more if he remains the same.
@code_11 (902)
• Nigeria
16 May 09
I bet you, you not doing him any favor at all, I think the young man doesn't really know what he wants yet. he can't eat his cake and have it. if you want to help him tell him that he will work the normal work day and not the days he so desires and if he doesn't want to then lay him off.
@littleme16ga (360)
• United States
16 May 09
This is a tough one. It does sound like he's using you. Tell him he has to work the regular week like everyone else and when you drop him off he has to call you from inside the house so you know he went in and didn't ditch. He also needs to call his parents and let them know where he's at instead of them trying to find him even if they don't care. If he had the gaul to get kicked out of school then he needs to work like a man every day during the regular work week and be treated as an adult. He got kicked out for a reason and now it's time to pay. If he wants to see his girlfriend fine he can do that on the weekend or when he gets off of work. You're just trying to help but you got to lay down some ground rules for him or he will continue to use you and get a way with it. Good luck and I wish I had someone to teach me what you're teaching him you're a very good person for trying to help him out.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
16 May 09
There are actually 2 things concerning me here:
1. You offer him a job when he was out of school. I am not saying that helping people is not good. But if the person you are helping is someone you know. Things gets complicated. If it involves money, it gets more complicated. If it is about his future, it gets totally out of control. The problem is that unless you can guarantee him a good future, otherwise if anything just doesn't get as smooth as it could be, you will be blamed... Yes, you haven't done anything wrong if he is simply incapable of getting on well, still, you would be blamed.
2. You let him use his identity as a "nephew" of yours so that he can get the extra benefit of leaving work on Fridays. I am not saying that letting your staff to on leave on some day and get back later with whatever reason they provide is wrong. However, this should be based on he is an employee but not a nephew. What this means is that if his dad calls back and ask about where he goes, there is no reason you should lie for him. Because you are acting as the employer at that moment.
@reese31390 (6)
• United States
16 May 09
I feel you are doing right, reason is because your are showing you actually care about his life and future goals. You are trying to have hima balance a personal life and business. Your nephew just shouldn't be picky about what days he works. i believe if it takes jus one life at a time to be changed then that's what it takes. Help him believe in himself, even if you dnt pay him that much ;)
