Counseling

@marcyyyy (517)
United States
May 18, 2009 11:15am CST
About 4 years ago I was going thru some emotional and life problems. My doctor suggested I go to a counselor. I doubted that it would help me, but I did go for 3 sessions. I talked about my problems, and he was kind and tried to help me. He listened well...the only thing I noticed, tho, was that after I got done speaking, I KNEW what his reply and suggestion would be! So what was the point of going to him...if I knew already how he would answer me, I already had the answer in my head, and it wasn't what I was looking for. So I quit going. Maybe I should be a counselor?? Did any of you go to one, and did it help you?
3 people like this
14 responses
@beamsey (425)
• Philippines
18 May 09
I doubt all counselors are like that. Maybe you just knew yourself better than you initially thought. :) I've been to a counselor before and at the start, I also felt like this. But I continued to go anyway. Most of the advice given to me, I never even followed. Those that I did didn't seem to work. But people noticed I was getting better so I kept going until I was told that I didn't need to go anymore. There are times that counselors seem to tell us things we already know about. But I've learned that sometimes, it's the availability of the counselor to listen to you and offer help that matters more than the advice given.
1 person likes this
@marcyyyy (517)
• United States
18 May 09
Yes, you do have a point there. Anyhow, all those problems I had then have gone away.lol
@beamsey (425)
• Philippines
19 May 09
Well, that's good news. :) Maybe going to the counselor worked after all. Hahaha.
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 May 09
Honestly, if what you are doing in life isn't working, you already know that and the chances are that you don't want to change ourselves enough to change the circumstances. There is something very scary about people wanting us to change who we are. Usually, we already know what bothers us, what sets off our emotional reactions and why. That's because we really do know ourselves, and we know that the answers lie within ourselves. Sometimes though, hearing another person echo what you have already thought of but rejected can help you focus in on that answer and carry through. Regardless of how good the advice is, none of it will do any good unless we decide to act on it. If you're looking for answers that you haven't thought of, innovative or new ideas to help you deal with situations in life, you may want to try again. There is always the chance that you will find someone who can suggest solutions you haven't even considered.
1 person likes this
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
19 May 09
I have gone to several counselors and have had many different experiences. I had one that I loved so much I cried when I had to stop seeing her. That still makes me laugh when I think about it because when she first walked out to greet me she looked like Woodstock (the Peanuts bird) and I thought to myself "what can she do for me?" It turns out she did more for me than any of the others. She helped me to focus, stay on topic and really pick through issues that I did not have clear sight of. I had another one who I liked a lot but due to insurance I had to stop early. She was good but I did not get to spend very long with her. Then there were the boring ones, the ones who had no clue at all (in fact one man made me so mad that I told him I don't why even came to him and he said "he did not know either" and I walked out. There was also the comedian who did nothing but laugh and make jokes which were not funny. Overall I did not get a lot of help for the time I spent. I don't know if I would go back into counseling anymore.
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
19 May 09
lol, me and my husband are having a great life together until her mom signed us up for marriage encounter, marriage counseling in short. We we're stunned with the number of people of were there who have marriage issues. We can't relate! We don't even know why we're there in the first place. So for the whole weekend we're just sitting there and listening to their issues. We know the answers to their questions and to their problems but when we speak they just say, "Oh you're too young to know everything... wait for a few years and you'll definitely end up like this..." I guess their main problem was they don't listen anymore... They can't accept inputs. We never attended any meetings after that coz they're sick and they need help and they won't find it unless they start within them. I guess you really don't need that much help to that guy, if you really need counseling look for people who can help you but will instill positive attitude to you and will give you constructive ideas you never heard before. Switch counselors. But if you do know the answers to your question why do you need to pay for someone just to validate your belief? Its a complete waste of money. I believe whatever issues you're in you can manage to get over it alone coz you believe you know the answers already. With the support of your family and loving friends you'll definitely get help from them for free!
@marcyyyy (517)
• United States
19 May 09
Thank you so much for your advice...I wonder why she signed you up and I'm glad you're both happy! My counseling was reall "free" cos my insurance covered it...however, I don't need it now. Friends are the best counselors,,,The problems were 4 years ago and that part of my life is over now, but I think in the future I'll rely on friends! Stay happy, lol!
@wgh423 (65)
• China
20 May 09
I don't have experience of counseling. Here if we have emotional and life problems,we prefer to talking with friends,relatives or even strangers,but no counselor.We don't consult until we have problem of investment,stock and company management and so on.I think that's the difference of culture.
• United States
19 May 09
I am a life coach which is alot like a counselor. The process of both is all about introspection. The major difference is that counselors oftentimes go back into the past to figure why things happened. Life coaches begin at where the client is at the present, helps them figure out what they want out of life and proceed forward in achieving them. The fact that you already knew the answers indicates that the process was actually working for you. The reason that counselors and life coaches are so much in demand is because even though people know intellectually what they need to do, they possess limiting beliefs that paralyze them into inertia. A coach helps people overcome those beliefs that are detrimental to their success and move them into a more beneficial place.
• United States
18 May 09
That is the thing about counselors, they tell you what you want to hear or what you already know. If you think about it, everyone is their own counselor. I went to several counselors when I was a teen and an adolescent and as I grew up, I really saw no need for them. What is the point of going to someone to talk about your problems, when they are only going to tell you what you already know.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
19 May 09
i dont trust these crap. i think counselors need counseling. but if u r unsure, go to many counselors to get a 2nd and 3rd opinions, and then compare all three. u might get a more complete and accurate answer of what u should do next with whatever u r trying to solve.
• Philippines
19 May 09
I never tried going to a counselor,I never tried to go,not even once.I have always wanted someone to listen to my problems.I think that's why counselors are made.They are the persons we can go to because they are professionally taught on how to handle people with deep emotional feeling.Although we know what to do or solve our problems sometimes we just need someone to listen to us.That why we are relieved.
@Hedwig (283)
• China
19 May 09
Yesterday I went to a counselor for the first time. Just like you, most of the time I was talking while she listened carefully. I even cried a bit and she handed me napkins kindly. I do feel a bit relieved after confiding her of what was bothering me. In the end, she gave me some advice that had nevered occurred me before as my homework. I will see her next week and I do hope that her advice will work. Maybe you can try another counselor. Different people have different advices.
@Hedwig (283)
• China
19 May 09
Yesterday I went to a counselor for the first time. Like you, most of the time I was talking while she listened carefully. I even cried a bit and she handed me the napkins kindly. I was a bit relieved after confiding her of what was bothering me. She gave me some advice that had never occurred to me before. I wish it would help.
• United States
18 May 09
We are our own biggest enemies.. with that being said, I think you got what you were looking for out of those 3 sessions but you didn't realize it. You didn't go long enough for the light to pop on..lol.. As people we know our faults, we know our demons, we know what we need to be doing. Counseling is about understanding yourself and why you do things. Its not about the answering the questions you know the answer to, its about the question you can't anticipate or wrap your head around.. it's about WHY. You knew his reply? You even ventured to say you KNEW HIS SUGGESTION.. so WHY hadn't you solved this problem on your own? If you know that 2+2= 4 why are you still writing that the answer is 3? I have been to counseling, not in my adult life. I believe it was tremendously helpful, simply because it made me realize that understanding yourself is essential.
@harryt123 (327)
• United States
18 May 09
I have actually seen a counselor for my mental illness/depression and I have to say that it has benefited me to the point that I have become more open about my feelings and I am able to talk and open up to others. After I got social anxiety and don't go out much besides for work it has become hard for me to continue on with my counselor or even go out with friends. That is mostly the only benefit that I saw from seeing her and I still have the same issues but it has made some things easier and I have learned a few things from the 6 months that I got to see her. In any situation it all depends on the person, their situation and the mindset before going to a counselor and what benefit they want from their visits. Do they want to feel better? Do they want the counselor to know all of their story? Are they going to go because it's something they have to do or are they going to go to genuinely overcome their situation and cope with any issues that they have. Those in my opinion are all valid questions and thoughts that should be kept in mind. One thing that might help someone might not help another.
• United States
19 May 09
I don't think it could ever hurt to be reassured by a "professional" When I went to counseling, it was free, so I really didn't have any money to lose, otherwise I might have a different perspective on things. I have always thought that unless I was completely lost in my problems, I wouldn't bother with counseling. Sometimes things are out of your hands, and you can't fix your problems on your own. That's when you should seek out help. I also think that getting advice from a professional is better than a person you know.